NiNjA NONSENSE
by lunarxshinobi
Summary: Sasuke is king of the chickens, Naruto's best friend is a desk, and the aktsutaki love to dance. Nothing is what it seems to be, and just cause it's not possible doesn't mean it won't happen.
1. Chapter 1

Ninja Nonsense

Chapter 1

The Nonsense Begins

"talking"

_'thinking'_

**FF/ Change POVS**

**Lunar: **Huzzah! I shall torture your souls!

**Naruto: **Why?

**Lunar:** Cause I'm bored.

**Naruto:** anime falls

**Lunar:** Would you say something for me Naru-kun?

**Naruto:**... What?

**Lunar:** My disclaimer!

**Naruto: **You're disclaimer? Okay.

**Lunar:** Yay Naru-kun!

**Naruto: ** Okay then. So. What would you like me to say?

**Lunar:** Oh, just the basic stuff.

**Naruto:** Okay. Lunar does not own Naruto.

**Lunar:** Thanks Naruto!

**Naruto:** oh, sure... what now?

**Lunar:** Dunno.

**Naruto: **I'm bored.

**Lunar:** Me too. I'll start.

**Naruto:** okay.

**Lunar:** Beware peoples. This is really just a sub-chap that makes nooooooooo sense.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto were sitting and waiting around for Kakashi. After about 5 hours, they were ready to leave, but then Kakashi appeared.

"WHY WERE YOU LATE?!" Sakura shrieked.

" I was late because there's no mission and no training because..." Kakashi paused.

" WHY NOT?" Naruto demanded.

"Because... SASUKE'S HEAD LOOKS LIKE A CHICKEN'S ASS!" Kakashi yelled, pointing at Sasuke. Then he dissappeared, leaving Team 7 confused.

"ha ha. It kinda does look like that." Naruto pointed out.

"Shut up." Sasuke growled.

------------------------------------------------------------

**Sasuke:** My hair doesn't look like a chicken's ass.

**Lunar:**Yes it does! I mean, look at it!

**Sasuke:** ...

**Naruto:** lol. It does.

**Sasuke:** Shut up dobe.

**Naruto:** You shut up bird-butt.

**Sasuke:** I hate you all.

**Lunar:** Oh, shut it emo boy.

**Sasuke:** I AM NOT A FREAKIN' EMO.

**Lunar:** Don't deny it emo boy.

**Sasuke:**...

**Naruto:** I'm bored.

**Sasuke:** Mabey you could help Lunar work on the non exsistant plot.

**Lunar: **I do too have a plot!

**Sasuke:** yeah. right.

**Lunar:**I'll prove it. TO THE NEXT CHAPTER!

**Sasuke:**...

**Lunar:** Review!


	2. Things Just Get Crazier

NINJA NONSENSE

Chapter 2

Things get crazier

**Sasuke:** Who ever let you on the internet?

**Lunar:** Good question.

**Sasuke: **Is this ever gonna get a plot?

**Lunar:**... It has a plot!

**Sasuke:** No it doesn't!

**Lunar:** Yes. It does.

**Sasuke:** Prove it!

**Lunar:**I will.

**Sasuke:** Where's everyone else?

**Lunar:** dunno.

**Sasuke:**...

**Lunar:** I don't own Naruto!

---------------------------------------------------

Team 7 was sitting around when Naruto looked over at Sasuke.

"eh. teme. Let's spar." he said, bored.

"no." Sasuke said, still not happy over the 'chicken ass' incident. Naruto shrugged and began to run around in circles. He decided to tease Kakashi, so he ran around in his Jutsu form. This, of course, pissed of Sakura, who tripped him and made him fly into a wall.

"... We better check up on him!" Kakashi suggested. The three went to check on Naruto. They were surprised to find an unconcious Shikamarou next to him. Ino stomped over, followed my Asuma and Choji.

"GET UP BOTH OF YOU!!!" she shouted. Naruto sighed, opened his eyes, and stared at the sky.

"Girls are troublesome." he said. Sakura blinked.

"Naruto?" She said. Shikamarou jumped up.

"OI, INO! WHY'D YOU HIT ME?!" He shouted.

Ino stpped back. "oh my."

"Are you okay dobe?" Sasuke asked.

"Troublesome chicken ass." Narut answered.

"I feel funny." Shikamarou moaned.

"Troublesome." Naruto remakred.

"um, let's take them to Tsunade." Kakashi suggested.

-----------------------------------------

**Lunar:** See! A plot!

**Sasuke:**You call that a plot?

**Lunar:** yes. Yes I do.

**Sasuke:**...

Naruto comes in

**Naruto:**hi.

**Lunar:**Hello Naruto.

**Naruto:** Hey Linaru.

**Sasuke:**Where did you go?

**Naruto:** home. Duh. I needed to train.

**Sasuke:**...

**Lunar:**hee hee. Didn't think of that, didja Sasugay?

**Sasuke:**DON'T CALL ME THAT!

**Lunar:**Fine. chicken-butt-hair-cutt.

**Sasuke:** glares Don't make me kill you.

**Lunar:**sighs You can't kill me.

**Sasuke:** Why not?

**Lunar:** I AM THE GREAT AUTHORESS. I can't die. My authoress powers prevent that.

**Sasuke:**...

**Naruto:** You didn't know that?

**Sasuke:**...

**Lunar:**ha ha.

**Sasuke:** twitches

**Lunar:**I think it's time to end the chapter.

**Naruto:** see ya!

**Lunar:**Review!


	3. The Craziness Rises

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter 3

_The Craziness Rises_

**Kakashi:** There wasn't much nonsense in the last chapter.

**Lunar:** I know

**Kakashi:** So. What are you going to do?

**Lunar: **A Little of this, a little of that, a little of my special brand of crazy

**Kakashi:**...

**Lunar: **Where did Naruto and Sasuke go?

**Kakashi:**Good question

**Lunar:**NARUTO? SASUKE?

**Naruto:**What?

**Lunar: **Where'd you go?

**Naruto:** Ichikarou's.

**Lunar:**Where's Sasuke?

**Naruto:** Training to kill Itachi

**Lunar:** dork

**Naruto:** That's what I told him

**Lunar:** and he didn't get mad?

**Naruto:** nope. He just said that I'm next on his list. What list?

**Lunar:** Naruto... Sometimes you scare me.

**Kakashi:** Shouldn't you already know that?

**Naruto:** Why would Lunar know that?

**Kakashi:** Cause Lunar's the leader of you fangirls.

**Naruto:** I have fangirls?

**Kakashi:** yes. only yours are slightly less rabid and crazy, and more subtle and plotting.

**Naruto:** Good thing, or bad thing?

**Kakashi:** Well, it's a good thing that yours are slightly less rabid and crazy, because they don't chase you down for miles and miles. However, it may be a bad thing because they're so subtle and plotting because they may be planning to capture you and keep you for all eternity. Like the KBWOFAE.

**Naruto:** The KBWOFAE?

**Kakashi:** The Kakashi will be ours for all eternity. They don't chase me down but obviously they're planning something

**Naruto:** ... I'm scared.

**Kakashi:** Lunar would know what they're planning.

**Naruto:** Lunar?

**Lunar:** is seen in a large room with a bunch of other girls hovering over a table with a bunch of papers on it including a sketch of a cage ... nothing. closes door

**Naruto:** ... I'm scared.

**Kakashi:** You should be.

**Lunar:** Kakashi. I'm busy. Say it.

**Kakashi:** Lunar doesn't own Naruto. yet.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Team 7 and Team Ino burst into the Hokage's office.

"Lady Tsunade, Naruto and --" Kakashi was about to explain about the problem when Tsunade waved her hand.

" I know. The authoress switched their personalites because she couldn't think of anything else." Tsunade said.

" How do we cure them?" asked Sakura.

" We can't. We have to ask the great authoress away." Tsunade replied.

"Where is she?" asked Sasuke

" In this." Tsunade held up a bottle of sake. "oops. Wrong thing." She put that down and held up a summoning scroll and then set it on the floor. It poofed, and then a girl with brown hair, and brown eyes appeared.

" Why are you all staring at me?" She demanded.

" You're in a cage." Sasuke pointed out. The girl pouted

" I know." she mumbled.

" Who are you?" asked Sakura.

"I am Lunar, The Great Authoress!!!" The girl announced. "duh."

"If your the authoress, then why are you in a cage?" asked Ino

" because the men in white said I'm crazy." Lunar answered. Everyone sweatdropped.

" Can you help Naruto and Shikamarou?" asked Choji

" I don't know." The Authoress said.

" Dangit. You did it, you fix it." Tsunade demanded.

" ugh. fine." Lunar waved her finger, and then Naruto and Shikamarou were back to normal.

" That was it?" said Kakashi.

" Yep." said the authoress, pushing open the cage door. "It wasn't locked." Everyone sweatdropped again.

" Now, I need to do something to keep the plot going." Lunar said. Sasuke glared at Lunar as she snapped her fingers, revealing two snarling girls on leashes appear. They saw where they were and began to purr. Lunar pet a blond, blue eyed one while she held back a dangerous looking black, blue eyed girl.

" Ah. 2 rabid crazy fangirls. " She let them go. They immidently latched themselves to Naruto and Sasuke. Sasuke got irritated and smacked the blond one off, who bit him because she didn't like being hit. The black haired one bit Naruto because she felt like it.

" Let the choas begin!" The authoress disappeared.

---------------------------

**Sasuke:** Lunar...

**Lunar:** Yes Sasuke?

**Sasuke:** What did you just do?

**Lunar:** Nothing.

**Sasuke:** What do you mean nothing? You're grinning and you had me and Naruto get bit by rabid fangirls.

**Lunar:** Oh, I mean, you won't know until the next chapter.

**Sasuke:** Why not.

**Lunar:** Because. That would ruin the surprise!

**Sasuke:** ... I hate you.

**Lunar:**I know you hate me Sasuke. But I find that funny.

**Sasuke:** ...

**Naruto:** should I get that bite checked out?

**Lunar:** nah.

**Naruto:** ok

**Sasuke:** You're listening to her?

**Naruto:** yeah, why not?

**Sasuke:** because, she's nuts! And she'll probably use that bite for her plot!

**Lunar:** Nah, really Sasuke?

**Naruto:** Yeah Sasuke, No duh.

**Sasuke:** Shut. up.

**Lunar:** oooh. I'm gonna get him

**Naruto:** Be nice.

**Lunar:** oh, yeah. if you want to ask the characters any questions, go ahead and send it in your review. 3 per person.

**Naruto:** seee ya!

**Lunar:** REVIEW!


	4. Rabid Crazy

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter 4

_Rabid Crazy_

**Lunar:** Huzzah! I have a plot!

**Sasuke:** You call that a plot?

**Lunar:** yes.

**Sasuke:** -glares-

**Lunar:** You can't get me.

**Sasuke:** Shut up

**Naruto:** did you have to make me get bitten?

**Lunar:** yes

**Naruto:** -sighs-

**Lunar:** KAKASHI!

**Kakashi:** -sigh- Lunar doesn't own Naruto

**Lunar:** good boy

**Kakashi:** -mopes and walks away-

**Naruto:** so. what happened when we got bitten?

**Lunar:** -crazy grin-

**Sasuke:** Wth?

**Lunar:** XD

**Naruto:** I'm scared

**Lunar:** -crazier grin-

**Sasuke:** ...

**Lunar:** -creepy laugh-

**Naruto:** Sasuke... Do something!

**Sasuke:** Like what?

**Naruto:** I don't know! I'm a dobe remember?

**Sasuke:** Don't use that excuse!

**Naruto:** Why not?

**Sasuke:** because I said so.

**Naruto:** ...

**Lunar:** Hee hee hee

**Naruto:** O.O

**Sasuke:** JUST START THE CHAPTER!

-------------------------------------------------

Sasuke and Naruto just stood still after being bit. After a few minutes, they began to drool.

" Sasuke-kun? Are you alright?" Sakura asked. Sasuke stumbled over and began to pull her hair.

"Shin thing!" he gigled. Sasuke Uchiha giggled. Sakura gasped. Tsunade fainted. Kakashi ran away screaming like a girly man. Asuma was so shocked he died. Ino was so creeped out she offered to stalk Choji who never wanted to eat again. Shikamarou was hyper and ready to run away like girly man Kakashi and Naruto just stared at Tsunade's desk. He hugged it.

" You're my bestest friend Mr. Desk!" He cried.

Sakura blinked." oh my."

Sasuke pet her head."Good Shiny thing!" he said happily.

------------------------------------------------------

**Naruto:** ...

**Lunar: ** heh heh heh

**Naruto:** ...

**Sasuke:** I hate you.

**Lunar:** I know.

**Naruto:** Holy Crap! Sasuke giggled! -screams-

**Sasuke:** shut up

**Naruto: **-scoots away slowly-

**Lunar:** Don't worry Naruto. I'm scared too.

**Sasuke:** -glares-

**Lunar:** ha ha ha ha

**Naruto:** -runs to hide-

**Lunar:** Lunar: Come with me! To the bomb shelter!

**Naruto:** -follows-


	5. The Crazy Chicken Ass Attacks

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter 5

_The Crazy Chicken Ass Attacks_

**Sasuke:** The What... Does what?

**Lunar:** heh heh heh

**Naruto:** Oi. Lunar. Kakashi still hasn't come back.

**Lunar:** -sighs- fine. I need someone else.

**Sasuke:** Thank god, Lunar doesn't own Naruto.

**Lunar:** aw! Thanks Sasuke!

**Sasuke:** Shut up.

**Lunar:** heh heh. Never.

**Sasuke:** Is it neccessary to annoy me.

**Naruto:** yes

**Sasuke:** No one asked you. dobe.

**Lunar:** Be nice to Naruto, Sasuke. -smacks sasuke-

**Sasuke:** Ow! Damn you.

**Lunar:** NO CUSSING. This is a T rated story.

**Sasuke:** Shut up.

**Lunar: **Make me. Chicken butt.

**Sasuke:** DON'T CALL ME A CHICKEN BUTT.

**Lunar:** Why not? You're head does look like that.

**Sasuke:** IT DOES NOT!!!

**Lunar:** yes it does.

**Sasuke:** ...grrrrrrr.

**Naruto:** I'm bored.

**Lunar:** me too.

**Naruto:** So what should we do?

**Lunar:** I don't know. Whatever.

**Sasuke:** I have an idea.

**Naruto:** Really Sasuke?

**Lunar:** Yeah. Really Sasuke?

**Sasuke:** yeah.

**Lunar:** then what?

**Sasuke:** START THE DAMNED STORY!

**Lunar: **Don't be mean.

------------------------------------------------------------

Sakura took Naruto and Sasuke to Sasuke's house and tied them to some beds. Sasuke immidiently began to chew on the rope. Sakura shook her head and then locked the door and went to go wake up Tsunade, find Kakashi, calm down Shikamarou, show Ino a picture of Itachi, feed Choji, and bring Asuma back to life.

She finished it all because the authoress said so. Kakashi and Tsunade went back with Sakura to check on Sasuke and Naruto.

When they got there, Narut owas outside and hugging a tree.

"You're my new bestest friend Mr. Tree!" he said. Sakura sweatdropped. The three walked over to Naruto.

"Naruto? Are you allright?" Tsunade asked. At this moment, Sasuke ran out of the house with this moment Sasuke ran out of the house with a chicken on his head yelling,

"MR. CHICKEN SHALL KILL YOU ALL!" The threw the chicken at Sakura and then he yelled, " SHINY-HAIRED GIRLY-THING!" He pounced on her.

"Let me pet you shiny hair! " He said, petting her head. Tsunade sweatdropped, adn Kakashi started to scoot away slowly. Sasuke grinned and picked up the chicken.

" I am the chicken king!" he yelled. Kakashi knocked him out.

"We need to fix this."

----------------------------------------------

**Sasuke: **I. Hate. You.

**Lunar: **I know pretty boy. I know.

**Sasuke:** What did you call me?

**Lunar:** pretty boy. -dissappeares into ceiling-

**Sasuke:** GET OUT OF THERE!

**Lunar:** Never.

**Sasuke:** Now!

**Lunar:** no

**Naruto:** I wonder what the ceilings like?

**Lunar:** you shall never know.

**Naruto:** Why not?

**Lunar:** Because. It's a secret.

**Naruto:** okay. Fine.

**Sasuke:** Can we end this chapter?

**Lunar:**no

**Sasuke:** What?

**Lunar:** Just kidding.

**Sasuke:** -sighs-

**Lunar:** REVIEW!


	6. Crazy Yaoi

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter 6

_Crazy Yaoi_

**Lunar:**If you don't like yaoi, don't worry. This chapter doesn't really have any.

**Sasuke:**...Crazy ... What?!

**Naruto:** yeah! Crazy what?!

**Lunar:** heh heh heh. SasukexNarutoxNeji

**Sasuke:**What?!

**Naruto:** What?!

**Lunar:** heh heh heh. Sasuke chases Naruto who chases Neji who runs.

**Sasuke:** I do NOT chase the dobe!

**Naruto:** I do NOT chase Neji!

**Neji:** couldn't you leave me alone!

**Lunar:**no

**Neji:**I hate you.

**Sasuke:** You can't do this.

**Naruto:** I agree! You can't do this!

**Lunar:** Yes I can.

**Neji:** And how so?

**Lunar:** Because I'm the Great Authoress.

**Neji:** I hate you.

**Lunar:** you already said that.

**Sasuke:** This freakin -censored- does not own Naruto

**Lunar: ** Geeze. Nice Sasuke.

**Naruto:** Just start this freakin' thing and get it over.

**Lunar:**hmmmmmmmm. let me thing.

**Naruto:**...

**Lunar:** okay.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

After Sasuke woke up again, Kakashi had him on a leash, and Tsunade had Naruto on a leash. Sasuke stared at NAruto like a hungry dog. Kakashi sighed.

"Neji?" Can you see anything?" Tsunade asked him. She had called Neji over to see if he could help. Neji shook his head.

"I'm sorry Hokage-sama. I can't see anyth-- Why is Naruto staring at me like that?" Neji asked. Naruto was staring at Neji like Sasuke was staring at Naruto. KAkashi began laughing.

"What's so funny?" Neji demanded. Kakashi grinned.

" I think Nartuo _likes_ you." Kakashi winked. Neji paled.

"And Sasuke likes Naruto." Jairaya cut the leashes holding back the two boys. Sasuke immidently starting runing to Naruto, who began to chase Neji, who was running for his life. Among other things...

Tsunade looked at Jairaya. "When'd you get here?"

Jairaya shrugged. "Bored Authoress." Tsuande nodded in understanding.

Kakashi and Sakura were tyring to help Neji. Sasuke managed to catch Naruto, who had caught Neji, who was trying to beat them both with a stick.

"Get off Neji!" yelled Tenten

"GET THE HELL OFF NARUTO UCHIHA-BASTARD!"Hinata yelled. Everyone gaped at Hinata. Naruto ran over to her on all fours and licked her hand like a dog. Hinata pet him. "Good boy."

Sasuke went, dejected, over to Sakura. Neji hid behind Twenty, I mean, Ten Ten.

------------------

**Neji:**I HATE YOU!

**Sasuke:** I HATE YOU!

**Tenten:** I HATE YOU!

**Hinata:** -petting Naruto's head-

**Naruto:**- purring-

**Lunar:** Yes. You can keep him.

**Hinata:**-hugs Naruto-

**Naruto:** -grins-

**Lunar:** I'm bored.

**Neji&Sasuke:** Go Die.

**Lunar:** Geeze. You're mean.

**Neji:** WE'RE MEAN? YOU FREAKIN' WROTE THIS CHAPTER!

**Lunar: **It's not that bad.

**Sasuke:**YES IT IS!

**Lunar:** I've seen worse.

**Neji:**Where?

**Lunar:** -shows them fanfictions-

**Neji:**O.O

**Sasuke:** O.O

**Neji:**You're right. This chapter wasn't all that bad.

**Sasuke:** In fact, this chapter was pleasant.

**Lunar:**Oh, and since I'm getting bored with writing conversations, I'm taking questions for all the characters.


	7. The Crazyiness Goes to the Dog Park

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter 7

_The Craziness Goes To The Dog Park_

**Lunar:** I'm still bored.

**Sasuke:** hmph

**Naruto:** I Have an idea!

**Lunar:** what?

**Naruto:** Let's start talking to reviewers!

**Lunar:** We can't.

**Naruto:** Why not?

**Lunar:** Because no one's asked us any questions.

**Naruto:** Then let's name some.

**Lunar:** Well, there's Mysterious Man, Moony, MysticWolf, Lone Koniouchi, um... sorry my memory sucks.

**Naruto:** Don't worry. mine does to. I don't know who any of them are.

**Lunar:** ha ha

**Sasuke:**Why would Naruto and I care about your reviewers?

**Lunar:** because! They're AWESOME!

**Sasuke:** and?

**Lunar:** You should LOVE THEM!

**Sasuke:** why?

**Lunar:** because they love you!

**Sasuke:** really?

**Lunar:**yeah. most of them anyway.

**Sasuke:**...

**Naruto:** Do they love me?

**Lunar:** who doesn't love you?

**Naruto:**I dunno

**Lunar:** Everyone loves you!

**Naruto:** okay!

**Kakashi:** We're interupting this weirdness to bring you these messages!

**Jairaya:** Ever get really bored? Need something to do? Want something exciting to read? Then read Icha-

**Tsunade:** -hits Jairaya- NOT THAT AND NOT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS!

**Jairaya:** ow

**Kakashi:**Lunar doesn't own Naruto or Icha Icha Paradise

**Jairaya:**...

**Kakashi:** Thank you for your patience in reading these messages!

**Lunar:**... huh?

**Naruto:** Who let Jairaya in?

**Lunar:** dunno

**Sasuke:** ...

**Naruto:** Can you start the story now?

**Lunar:** sure!

-------------------------------------------------

Saskura handed Naruto's leash over to Hinata who clipped it onto his collar. Sakura picked up Sasuke's leash.

"What now?" asked Kakashi.

"I'm not sure. " Tsunade answered.

"Let's take Sasuke and Naruto-kun to the dog park." suggested Hinata. Everyone stared at her for a few seconds, then they agreed.

Hinata threw a frisbie for Naruto, who ran after it. Sasuke rolled around the grass. Sakura sighed, wondering when Sasuke and Naruto would be normal again.

Itachi watched his brother running around like a crazy weirdo. He shook his head and sighed.

" I came here to see my brother. This isn't what I meant though." He said to Kisame.

" Well, what now?" Kisame asked.

"We're going to make the authoress fix this." Itachi said, walkingaway. Kisame hurried to follow.

Itachi dragged Kisame into a large, scary looking house. He dragged the shark-man up some stairs, through some hallways, and into a dark, quiet, mob boss style room. Kisame shivered as growls were herad. Some lights came on. Lunar was sitting mob-style at a desk with the growling fangirls from before sleeping on either side.

"What is it, Ita-kun?" Lunar asked.

"Fix. My. Brother. I can't torture his mind if he's nuts." Itachi glared.

" Of course Ita-kun!" Lunar laughed.

Itachi twitched. "What's the catch?" He asked.

"Why, Ita-kun? Catch? hee hee. Take a wild guess." Lunar giggled.

Itachi and Kisame found themselves back at the Atsutaki head quarters.

"I'm going to regret this." Itachi moped.

**Itachi:** What are you going to do to me?

**Lunar:** You'll see

**Sasuke:** ha ha

**Itachi:** shut up

**Sasuke:** I wonder what Lunar's going to do to you. Nii-san.

**Itachi:**... SHUT UP.

**Sasuke:** I can't wait.

**Itachi:** dangit. can't you stop

**Sasuke:** I'm sorry. but did you see what Lunar did to me?

**Itachi:**That's cause Lunar doesn't like you.

**Sasuke:**What?!

**Itachi:** You didn't know that? Lunar only likes you a little bit. next to orochimarou, kankuro and hirashi hyuuga, you're her least favorite.

**Sasuke:** -sniff- Is this true Lunar?

**Lunar:**Kinda. You're not my favorite, but there are a lot more characters I hate more than you. I only dislike you because you have a really big ego

**Sasuke:**oh. okay then. As long as you don't hate me.

**Lunar:**Nope.

**Sasuke:**See Itachi?

**Itachi:**...

**Lunar:** REVIEW! OH, AND TYPE UP QUESTIONS FOR THE CHARACTERS!


	8. Crazy Reunion

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter 8

_The Crazy Reunion_

**Sasuke:**I've learned no to trust you

**Lunar:** aw. Now whatever have I done?

**Sasuke:** You freakin' tortured all of us!

**Lunar: **I did not torture all of you

**Sasuke:** well, Naruto and I

**Naruto**: Yeah. You did torture us.

**Lunar:** -sighs- Yeah. okay, so I tortured you. But I'm going to be nice to you in this chapter

**Naruto:** Liar

**Sasuke:** I agree. Prove it.

**Lunar:** Welllllll. Itachi and the rest of the atsutaki quartette(sp?) are my next tragets

**Sasuke:** - Have Fun

**Lunar:**... creepy

**Naruto:** Sasuke's happy... I'm scared.

**Lunar:** me too.

**Naruto:** What now?

**Sasuke:** Lunar Rocks!!!!!!! -insert heart shapes here-

**Lunar: ** QUICK NARUTO! RUN TO THE BOMBSHELTER!!!

**Naruto:** -runs and follows Lunar into the bombshelter-

**Lunar:** -locks door- What now?

**Naruto:** Somethings wrong with Sasuke.

**Lunar:** no. really?

**Naruto:** ...

**Lunar:** For once, Sasuke's weirdness is not my fault.

**Naruto:** creepy.

**Lunar:** yeah. Oh, I almost forgot.

**Naruto:** what?

**Lunar: ** the disclaimer.

**Naruto:** oh.

**Lunar:** KAKASHI!

**Kakashi:** What?

**Lunar:** The disclaimer

**Kakashi:**okay. -yells- CUE THE DISCLAIMER SEGMENT!!!!

**Lunar:** Disclaimer Segment?

**Kakashi:** It's new. Watch.

**Lunar:** okay.

-Disclaimer Segment-

**Gai:** Want to be very youthful?

**Lee:** Yosh! Yes!

**Gai:** then do I have the youthful product for the youthful spirit known as you! This very youthful, youthfully green, youthful spandex suit of youth youthfullness! Complete with youthful belt and youthful weights, for added youthfullness!

**Lee:** It's a youthful dream coming youthfully true!!!!

**Gai:** The flames of youth will shine in you if you wear this!

**Lee:** Gai-sensei!

**Gai:** Lee

**Lee:** Gai sensei!

**Gai:** Lee!

-both hug in sunset-

**Random Person:** DIE YOU FREAKS!!! -shoots them-

**Kakashi:** Thank god. They're dead!

**Lee:** I'm okay! Just a gunshot wound to my... youthful rearend!

**Gai:** Me too!

**Kakashi:** crap

**Lee:** Gai-sensei!

**Kakashi:** I must end this.

**Gai:** Lee!

**Kakashi:** Luanr doesn't own Naruto.

-End Disclaimer Segment-

**Lunar:**...what...the...hell...

**Naruto:** Start the story.

**Lunar:** Sure.

-----------------------------------------------------

After Naruto nearly drowned in a water dish, the group decided to drag the do- er, boys out of the dog park. This time they dragged them to the much, much safer... training grounds. The group cleared away any dangerous things, and let the dog-, er, boys, loose. Sasuke proceeded to chase down some birds while Naruto napped on a nearby rock. Sakura sighed.

"There has to be some way to fix this without asking the authoress for help." She pondered.

" unfortuneately(spelled right or not), the atuhoress is the one who controls this story." a voice said.

" that's not the authoress... But it could be a spcial guest authory." Tsunade guess.

"No. I'm not a guest author." Itachi, Kisame, Sasori and Deidra appeared.

"We'll take this." Itachi said, going to pick up Naruto. Then Sasuke, who appearantly still didn't like Itachi, bit Itachi hard on the hand. Watching Sasuke bite Itachi, made Naruto feel like biting, so he went around and bit Kisame, Sasori, and Deidra. Itachi cursed, then swatted away Sasuke, who ran away screaming "chicken!" Then Sasuke stopped. Naruto stood still, and stared at Sasuke. Sasuke stared at Itachi, who stared at Diedra, who stared at Kisame, who stared at Sasori, who did the funky chicken and the worm. Naruto blinked.

"Why's Itachi here?" he asked. Sasuke glared.

"So I can kill him." He said. Itachi stared at Sasuke for a few seconds before pouncing on him and yelling, "OUTUTU!" (sp?) Kisame began to bounce around saying "chirp. chirp. squeak. chirp." Deidra poked Sasori, constantly. All Sasori did was yell "Crayon!" and continue to dance the funky chicken and the worm. Everyone sweatdropped.

"oh my." was all tsunade could say.

-------------------------------------------

**Itachi:** I. Hate. You.

**Lunar:** Tell me something I don't know.

**Sasori/Deidra/Kisame:** We hate you.

**Lunar:** ha ha.

**Sasuke:**...

**Itachi:** Go ahead. I know you want to.

**Sasuke:** Ha ha Itachi.

**Lunar:** -still thinking about Itachi's comment- I need to stop reading ItaSasu.

**Itachi:**Lunar

**Lunar:**What?

**Itachi:**ItaSasu better not be what I think it is.

**Lunar:** -wink- what do you think it is?

**Sasuke:** omg. wtfh. Lunar, I hate you.

**Lunar:** ha ha.

**Itachi:** Sasuke?

**Sasuke:** yes?

**Itachi:** Shall we kill Lunar?

**Sasuke:** Why sure.

**Lunar:**Eep! -hides in ceiling-

**Sasuke:** damnit, Get out of there!

**Lunar:** no.

**Itachi:** I wonder if there's a way in?

**Sasuke:** Let's go ask someone!

**Itachi:** Yeah. But who?

**Sasuke:** How about BlueEyedFun?

**Itachi:** Good one.

**Sasuke:**..er... but she doesn't write Naruto fanfics.

**Itachi:** and? She may know of an all purpose way into Lunar, and Authoress's ceiling!

**Sasuke:** You're right. Let's go to BlueEyedFun's authoress studio!

**Lunar:** uh oh...

**PLEASE REVIEW! ALSO, YOU CAN ASK QUESTIONS IN THE REVIEW, BUT NOT FOR SASUKE AND ITACHI SINCE THEY'RE BOTH GOING TO BLUEEYEDFUN TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO KILL ME.**


	9. SubChap 1 Neji's Destiny

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter 9

_Sub-Chap 1: Neji's "Destiny"_

**Lunar:** Well... Itachi and Sasuke left to ask BlueEyedFun how to get into my ceiling, so they won't be back for a while.

**Naruto:** Well, as long as I'm not crazy anymore, I'm fine.

**Lunar:** Sadly, you're not. Only 5 chapters of crazy Naruto.

**Naruto:** That was 5 whole chapters!?

**Lunar:** Yeah! 3-8

**Naruto:** That felt much longer

**Lunar:** Mhua ha ha! Good.

**Naruto:** So what's up today?

**Lunar:** I don't know.

**Naruto:** so what's up today.

**Lunar:** I don't know

**Naruto:**I thought you haad a plot

**Lunar:** Yes, but I want to wait so that I can torture Sasuke and Itachi wit the story.

**Naruto:** oh

**Lunar:** yep

**Naruto:** ... so...What now?

**Lunar:** Let's call for the disclaimer

**Naruto:** okay

**Lunar:** KAKASHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Kakashi:** what?

**Lunar:** The disclaimer

**Kakashi:** CUE THE DISCLAIMER SEGMENT!!!!!!!!

**Jairaya:** Are you bored? Then read Icha Icha--

**Tsunade:** -hits Jairaya- I told you, No--

**Jairaya:** X.X Fine

**Shikamarou:** Are you stressed?

**Tsunade:** Yes.

**Shikamarou:** Need something relaxing?

**Ino:** Yes.

**Shikamarou:** Want to let your troubles just melt away?

**Choji:** Yes

**Shikamarou:** Then come to Shikamarou's cloud Watching Hill.

**Hinata:** Shikamarou's Cloud Watching hill?

**Shikamarou:** At Shikamarou's Cloud Watching Hill, you can just watch the clouds for hours on end. Just lie back and relax.

**Neji:** Come by. It's your fate.

**Naruto:** -from the authoress' studio- I better as hell not have just heard Neji say fate or destiny!

**Neji:** -yells back-

**Naruto:** -yells from A.S.-

**Shikamarou:** Why would it matter if Neji said fate or destiny?

**Ten Ten:** Naruto threatened to kick Neji's ass if Neji ever said fate or desinty again.

**Hinata:** -evil grin-

**Kiba:**-backs away slowly-

**Hinata:** ... pay back

**Neji:**Um.. Hinata. Don't...

**Hinata:**NARUTO!

**Naruto: -**still in A.S.- WHAT?

**Hinata:** NEJI SAID FATE!

**Naruto:** -appears-

**Neji:** Oh, shit. Hinata, you're not right. -runs-

**Naruto:** GET BACK HER! I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY FATE!!!!

**Neji:**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

-Several screams and crashing sounds are screaming-

**Neji:** -chasing w/ a hammer-

**Kakashi:**...

**Hinata:** -taking pictures & laughing-

**Kiba:** ... -whispers to shino- remind me. Do not get on either of thier bad sides.

**Shino:**-nodd-

**Naruto:** -comes back dragging half dead Neji- Thanks Hinata.

**Hinata:** Y-you're welcome.

**Kiba:** I though Hinata owned Naruto

**hinata:** n-no.

**Naruto:** That's right! Lunar gave me to you a few chapters ago!

**Shikamarou:** you guys do know that the camera's still running. right?

**Naruto:** really?

**Shikmarou:** yeah.

**Kakashi:** Are you done yet?

**Naruto:** yeah.

**Kakashi:** Lunar does not own Naruto.

-End Disclaimer Segment-

**Lunar:** My My My Naruto. So violent.

**Naruto:** I told him not to say Destiny.

**Lunar:** lol

**Neji:** owwwwwww.

**Lunar:** ha ha!

**Neji:** You freakin' sadistic -censored-

**Lunar:** -gasps- Neji!

**Naruto:** NO CUSSING!

**Neji: O.O ok**

**Naruto:** good boy.

**Lunar:** IMAO

**Neji:** -whimpers-

**Lunar:** Hey, I just go an idea!

**Naruto:** what?

**Lunar:** sub-chap!!!! Mhua ha ha ha ah!

**Neji:**I'm scared.

**Lunar:** good. good.

-------------------------------------------------

Neji had to sneak back to the Hyuuga residence hoping that Lee and Gai-sensei would not notice the fact he had left. Neji slipped into his room, and took out some fresh clothes, and then quickly showered ( a moment of silence for the squealing Neji-fangirls). Then je jumped out and put on his clean clothes. Then he combed his hair several times, put smoothing lotion on his hair, mosse, softening lotion, a tiny bit of hair spray, and then he brushed his hair again. Then he lept out of the window, and made his way to a small cafe. A shadowy figure met him there. They embraced.

" OH Neji! I'm so glad you came! You're so strong! and cute! and kind!" The shadowy figure exclaimed.

Neji smiled. "Oh Destiny. I'm so happy I came too!" He said. Naruto, who had been walking by, stomped over and glared at Neji.

"Did you just say 'Destiny'? " Naruto demanded, "I thought I told you; you aren't allowed to say 'Destiny or fate'." Neji twitched and looked around, "B-but, t-that's my g-girlfriend's name!" He explained.

"That's a likely story! I told you no more desinty, or fate!" Naruto cracked his knuckles. Neji paled, and then ran while yelling, "Desinty! I'll be right back!" Naruto began to chase neji yelling, "I SAID THAT YOU CAN'T SAY THOSE WORDS!"

Screaming sounds filled Konoha had Naruto beat up Neji.

Desinty sighed. "I told him that this code-name was stupid." Ten Ten stood up and started to walk away. "Stupid Neji."

--------------------

**Lunar:** ha ha ha ha!

**Neji:** -twitches-

**Naruto:** i told you not to say 'destiney'

**Neji:** i know

**Lunar:** I wonder when Sasuke or Itachi will get back?

**Naruto:** dunno

**Neji:** We'll see

**Lunar:** yeppers

**Naruto:** what now?

**Lunar:** well, some reviewers asked questions, so you'll answer them.

**Naruto:**...ok.

**Lunar:** From Moto Moon

kakashi is your hair naturally stand or do you use hair gel?

**Kakashi:** um. well. It's an emo-secret. you see, All emos can do several things with their hair. We can have it stand up against gravity, or have it blow in wind that doesn't exsist. The only one to learn how to have their spikes stand up against gravity. Naruto.

**Lunar:** because he's cute.

**Kakashi:**...

**Lunar:** now we have a note from mysterious man.

well.. i don't really have a question.. but Naruto! i know you secrectly wear bunny slippers and dace the cha-cha!

**Naruto:** yeah. and?

**Lunar:** REVIEW WITH QUESTIONS!!!!!


	10. SubChap 2 Lynk's Kakashi

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Sub-Chap 2

_Lynk's Kakashi_

**Neji:** ...

**Lunar:** Hi peoples!

**Naruto:** Sasuke still isn't back yet!

**Lunar:**hm...

**Naruto:**What's this chapter about?

**Lunar:** REad the title

**Naruto:** Lynk's Kakashi? who's Lynk

**Lunar:** A friend of mine.

**Naruto:** oh

**Lunar:** Let's cue the disclaimer segment.

**Kakashi:** CUE THE DISCLAIMER!

-Cue the Disclaimer-

**Ino:**- sigh- I cn'at believe that I volunteered for the disclaimer segment. This si so boring. When wil l the camera be on?

**Shikamarou:** -operating camera- Right now?

**Ino:** ah!

**Shikamarou:** hurry.

**Ino:** hurry.

**ino:** Getting Read for a hot date? Getting Married? Having a funeral? Or just want some flowers? Then come to the Yamanka Flower Shop!! We have flowers for cheap discount prices! If you don't like our selection, I'll use my Art of the Valentine to make you by something!!!!

**Kakashi:** O.O

**Ino:** So come to the 'Yamanka Floer Shop'! Remember, the Yamanka Flower Shop! Come by, or else!

**kakashi:**...

**Shikamarou:** O.O

**Ino:**what?

**Kakashi:** O.O

**Shikmarou:** You're scary!

**Kakashi:** O.O yep

**Ino:** -stomps off-

**Kakashi:**Lunar doesn't own Naruto.

-End Disclaimer Segment-

**Lunar:** Who are you more afraid of, me or Ino?

**Shikmarou:** you?

**Lunar:**...good. good.

------------------------------------------------------

Lynk Hyuga was walking around, looking for the entrance to the Authoress's mansion. She wanted a favor, that only The Great Authoress could grant. Lynk soon came upon a huge gate, with the image of a cresent on it. Then an irritated looking OC, known only as Linaru, popped out of nowhere and opened the gate. Lynk waved at the blank-faced OC, who waved back and then dissappeared.

Lunk continued down the path, walking through a large forest, over a bridge, across the meadow, climbed a target, around a Walmart, under a dollar tree, through a starbucks, where she battled a rabid fanboy, beat the living hell out of a troll, amde fun of Dorothy, tired to shoot people, laughed at cartboys, stole a dollar, and took a 45 minute coffe break and muffin break.

Finally, Lynk made it to the Great authoress' mansion. Lynk traveled through OC invited hallways until she got to Lunar's office. Lynk walked into the office and smiled.

"Hey Lunar. " She said, sitting down. Lunar nodded.

"Hello Lynk need something?" Lunk nodded.

"Well... I want..."

"Well, what do you want?" Lunar asked.

Lynk leaned foward.

"I want Kakashi."

Lunar nodded. "Sure."

Lunar then dissappeared. leaving Lynk very excited. "Yay!"

-In Konoha-

Kakashi was walking to meet his team about 4 hours late. He paused and shivered. He had the feeling that he was about to get sensei-napped. He went to run, when he was lassoed. He turned around to see Lunar.

"My friend wants you." Lunar said. That morning, screams were heard all over Konoha. Team 7 thought i t sounded like Kakashi, but they ignored it.

-In Lunar's Office-

Lunar presented Lynk with Kakashi. Lunk squealed and then attached a taser cellar with a leash to his neck. Lynk dragged Kakashi away. Lunar laughed madly.

" This oughta make several great subchapters!"

---------------------------

**Kakashi:** I hate you!

**Lunar:** I know.

**Kakashi:** Several Sub chapters?

**Lunar:** yeah. about 3-4. All about Lynks total power over you.

**Kakashi:** I hate you.

**Lunar:** I know.

**Lynk:** Kakashi!

**Kakashi:** -runs away screaming like the girly-man that he is-

**Lunar:**Stay tuned for more of the 'Adventures of Lynk and Kakashi-

**Lynk:** -chases kakashi-

**Lunar:REVIEW! WITH QUESTIONS!**


	11. Lynk's Kakashi part 2

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Sub-Chap 3

_Lynk's Kakashi Part 2_

**Kakashi:** I. Hate. You.

**Lunar:**I know.

**Kakashi:**grr.

**Lunar:** hee hee.

**NAruto:** Sasuke still isn't back.

**Lunar:**-sigh- Okay. Another Sub-chap then.

**Naruto:** aw

**Lunar:** yep

**Kakashi:** So I should blame my pain on Sasuke?

**Lunar:**yes.

**Kakashi:**...

**Lynk:**KAKASHI!

**Kakashi:** AH! -screams like a frightened teenage preppy cheerleader-

**Lunar:**... Was that a man scream, or a girl scream?

**Kakashi:** MAN SCREAM! MAN SCREAM!-still running-

**Lynk:**COME BACK! YOU'RE MINE!

**Kakashi:** -runs faster-AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Lynk:** -chases-

**Naruto:** O.o

**Lunar:** aw. young love.

**Kakashi:** It isn't love! It's a fangirl crush!

**Lunar:**...

**Lynk**:...

**Lunar:** Fangirls. don't have crushes. They have obsessions.

**Kakashi:**...

**Lynk:** Yes!

**Lunar:** You're a fangirl?

**Lynk:** Yes! I'm the leader of the KFC!

**Kakashi:** you own kentucky fried chicken?

**Lynk:**... no! The Kakashi Fan Club.

**Kakashi:** ... Does that happen a lot?

**Lynk:** yes. But it's worse for Iruka Fangirls united.

**Kakashi: ** The I-

**Lunar:** -is stopped.- Don't say it!

**Kakashi:** ooops.

**Lynk:** I am the leader of the KFC, which is a division of the WWAFC, the world wide association of fan clubs.

**Lunar:** I lead the YFC, the Yaoi Fan Club, which is a divsion of the WWAFC.

**Lynk:** and I also lead the:

KIHA Kakashi Is Hot Assocation

KIWA Kakashi Is Mine Assocation

IWKC Kakashi Is Wonderful Assocation

KPVC Kakashi Photographers Viewers Club

and then there's the...

**Kakashi:** -interupts- Kakashi photograh viewers club?

**Lynk:** yeah! It's awesome!

**Kakashi:**...

**Lunar:** Kakashi, cue the disclaimer segment.

**Kakashi: **CUE THE DISCLAIMER SEGMENT! Before things get weirder.

-Disclaimer Segment-

**Nayra:** Hi! I'm Nayra U., and I'm the spokeswoman for the KPVC. THE KAKASHI PHOTOGRAPH VIEWING CLUB!

**Linaru:** The what?

**Nayra:** The Kakashi Photograph Viewers Club!

**Linaru:** I'm going to go back to out story. I don't know why Lunar's making you do this stupid Segment.

**Nayra:** dunno.

**Linaru:** - leaves-

**Nayra: **... Anyway, the KPVC is home to the best pics! The best Kakashi pics! We have pics for all Kakashi lovers, from cute little chibi pics to super hot, eh hem, special pics!

**CameraGuy:** O.O

**Nayra:** So if you're into Kakashi, come join the KPVC! Remember, not the LAKP, the KPVC!

**Kakashi:** What's the LAKP?

**Nayra:** Well, ther's two. There's the Los Angeles Kakashi Photographers and the Look At Kakashi Pics. The LA Kakashi Photographers is cool. They're associated with the KFC. but the other one is for nerds.

**Kakashi:** The L.A. Kakashi Photographers!?

**Nayra:** Yeah. They photograph you. Especially when you're in L.A. but they also stalk you around the world.

**Kakashi:** O.O

**Nayra:**... I should join.

**Kakashi:** O.O

**Nayra:**okay, remember, the KPVC or the L.A. Kakashi Photographers.

**Kakashi:**Lunar doesn't own Naruto.

-End Disclaimer Segment-

**Kakashi:**-shivers- The L.A.K.P. so scary.

**Lunar:** ha ha.

**Lynk:**-catches Kakashi- KASHI-KUN!

**Kakashi:**Ah!

**Lunar:**ha ha ha ha

**Kakashi:** Someone help!

**Naruto:**-goes to help-

**Lunar:** don't.

**Naruto:**Don't.

**Naruto:** -stops-

**Kakashi:** Nooo!-is dragged off-

**Lunar:** -laughing-

--------------------------------------

Team 7 was sitting at Ichikarou's eating lunch and waiting for Kakashi to show up.

"Hi!" Lynk said cheerfully.

" Hi! Lyn- Why are you dragging Kakashi-sensei around on a leash?" Sakura asked.

" Cause! HE'S MINE!!!!!" Lynk squealed.

"where... am I?" Kakashi asked.

"Yay! My high-pitched fan girl squealing woke you up!" Lynk squealed again, hugging him. Kakashi blinked.

"Um. okay. Can I go now?" He asked.

"Nope." Lynk said.

" But... I, um, need to train my team. Right?" Kakashi said, begging his team with his eyes.

"Nah. It's too late." Naruto grinned.

"I've got a nail appointment. " Sakura smiled.

" I'm too busy." Sasuke smirked.

"Doing what?" Kakashi asked.

"Being a super cool emo." Sasuke said, looking all hot and emo and crap in his emo pose with his hair blowing in non-exsistant wind.

"How are you doing that? There's no wind!" Naruto said.

" Cause I'm emo." Sasuke said, and then he walked away all cool and emo and crap, with a long line of Sasuke-Emo-Fangirls following.

"I've always wondered, What's the difference between a Sasuke-Emo fangirl, and a Sasuke fangirl?" Naruto asked.

"Well, Sasuke-Emo fangirls only like him when he's being emo." Sakura explained.

"Ah." Naruto went back to laughing at Kakashi, who was currently being hugged to death by Lynk.

"Get off!" Kakashi said, throwing Lynk off.

"Bad Kakashi!" Lynk pressed a red button, electrocuting Kakashi. Kakashi let out a shrill girly scream, which was so loud that all the windows in Konoha broke, which made all the cats hiss, which made kids cry, which made the parents freaked out, which made the doctors leave the hospital, which left their patients all alone, which caused them to die which summoned the grim reaper, who reaped their souls, which went to a sorting room, where they got sorted, which made some of them go to heaven, and some of them go to hell, and whoever was left went to nowhere and where they ran laps to eternity while thier relatives mourned and threw a funeral which made them cry which made a tissue sales-squirrel come, which made the relatives called animal control, which made animal control shoot the squirrel because squirrels shouldn't sell tissue which made a squirrel that had been watching go to the squirrel king, which made the squirrel king summon an army of squirrels to rage war on Animal Control, which made animal control call ninja to protect them but the squirrels were strong and they killed the ninja and destroyed animal control and then the squirrel king and his squirrels went to a funeral to mourn the death of the tissue selling squirrel who wasn't really dead because animal control had only shot him in the leg so he was fine and then he told the squirrel king who was so happy that he threw a giant party for the world and everyone was happy except for animal control because animal control was dead because the squirrel army had blown up every animal control building and officer which made the relatives sad but then they were having too much fun partying with the squirrel king who was being given free tan fur dye because he was so white that you couldn't see him in snow and he dyed his hair so that he could have a normal hair color and everyone partied more to celebrate his normalness and then they saw Sasuke in all his emo-coolness and then they all wanted to be emo too so they all wanted to be emo too so they went to emo school where they learned to be emo and then they graduated and became emos and they served under the emo king zexion (from kingdom hearts).

-Back to the story-

"Lunar, the Great Authoress, gave me a taser collar and leash. " Lynk said. Kakashi twitched from the shock. His hair was frizzy.

"noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! My beautiful emo hair!!!!!!!!" he cried. The emo-people from before pointed and laughed before running away.

"It's time to train you." Lynk said. "Sit!"

"I'm not your dog!" Kakashi argued.

" No. You're my KAkashi! Now SIT!" Lynk shoed KAkashi the taser button. Kakashi sat.

"Good boy Kakashi!" Lynk said.

----------------------------------------

**Kakashi:** I. HATE. YOU.

**Lunar:** yay!

**Lynk:** Such a good boy -pats Kakashi's head-

**Kakashi:** -to reviwers- SOMEONE HELP ME! When will Sasuke and Itachi get back?

**Lunar:** dunno. They're still trying to find BlueEyedFun.

**Kakashi:** I hope they hurry. I can't take much more of this.

**Lynk:** I can!

**Kakashi:** -cries- NOOOOO!

**Lynk:** Let's take a walk -drags Kakashi away-

**Kakashi:** HELP!

**Naruto:**-looks at Kakashi- Sorry! Lunar said no!

**Kakashi:** and you're listening to her?

**Naruto:** Yeah! Who knows what she can do!

**Kakashi:** good point

**Lunar:** -pats Naruto's head- Good boy!

**Naruto:** can I go home now?

**Lunar:** no.

**Naruto:** ok.

**Lynk:** -pats Kakashi's head- Want a cookie?

**Kakashi:** no.

**Lynk:** ok then - gets out taser button.-

**Kakashi:** Wait, I want the cookie.

**Lynk:**-gives him a cookie-

**kakashi:** -eats it-

**Lunar:** Did he eat the mind control cookie?

**Kakashi:** -gags-

**Lunar:** too late. you ate it.

**Lynk:** Now you'll behave.

**Kakashi:** NO!

**Lynk:** Sit!

**Kakashi:** -sits-

**Lynk:** Stand.

**Kakashi:**-stands- I hate you Lunar.

**Lunar:** Get a new catchphrase.

**Lynk:** Kakashi, speak!

**Kakashi:** hello!

**Lynk:** Good Boy!

**Kakashi:** I hate my life.

**Lunar:** good. Then I've completed my goal.

**Kakashi:** I can't wait till kill you.

**Lunar:** Try it.

**Kakashi:** gr. I can't wait until Sasuke and Itachi get back,

**Lunar:** Neither can I. I miss my plot.

**Kakashi:**You had a plot?

**Lunar:** gr.

**Lynk:** Kakashi, do more tricks!

**Kakashi:** like what?

**Lynk:** FETCH! -throws stick-

**Kakashi:**-runs after stick-

**Lynk:** roll over!

**KAkashi:** -rolls over-

**Lynk:** -laughing-

**Lunar:** I'm ending this chapter.

_**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!WITH QUESTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_


	12. Dog Contest and Disclaimer Idol

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Sub Chap 4

_Kakashi's in a Dog Contest & Disclaimer Idol_

**Kakashi: **Who's... in a what?

**Lynk:** I entered you in the Eukenuba tournament of ninja champions.

**Kakashi:**... Lunar told you to. Didn't she?

**Lunar:** Don't blame me.

**Kakashi:** Did you set up the tournament.

**lunar:** yes.

**Kakashi:** -glares-

**Lunar:** ha ha ha

**Lynk:** We must get you ready! -drags Kakashi off.-

**Naruto:** now what? Without Kakashi, who will cue the disclimaer segment?

**Lunar:**hm. good point.

**Naruto: **What now?

**Lunar:** We'll have a contest!

**Naruto:** really?

**Lunar:** yeah.

**Naruto:** how do we get the word out?

**Lunar:** cookie cartons.

**Naruto:** don't you meant milk cartons?

**Lunar:** no. i mean cookie cartons. -holds up cookie carton-

**Naruto:**...?

**Lunar:** Let's get this started!

-Some TV studio-

**Lunar:** Welcome, to Disclamier Idol!

**Naruto:** Lunar doesn't own American Idol

**Lunar:** Our first contestant is Hinata!

**Hinata:**...-nervous in front of crowd- um. um. um. um.p-p-p-p-p;ease, um, s-s-s-start, um, th-the, um, d-d-d-d-disclaimer, um, s-s-s-segment, um, um, um, th-th-thank, um, um, um, y-y-you.

**Naruto:** That was... okay.

**Lunar:**..um. next.

**Shikmarou:** Why am I here? I already run the cameras.

**Ex-Camera Guy:** I hate you!

**Shikmarou: **Working is troublesome. I quit.

**Lunar:**... hey. Dude. Want your job back?

**Camera-Guy:** Yeah!

**Neji:** It's fate that I be the discliamer annuoncer.

**Naruto:** I SAID NOT TO SAY FATE OR DESTINY!

**Neji:** uh-oh.

**Naruto:** -beats the hell out of neji.

**Neji:** uuuuugggghhhhhh. Cue the Disclaimer Segment.

**Lunar:** . next.

**Ino:** Cue the freakin' disclaimer segment before I beat the freakin' heck out of ya!

**Naruto:**...

**Lunar:** nice.

**Ino.** Thanks.

**Haku:** Cue the disclaimer Segment! Please.

**Naruto:** Are you a guy, or a girl?

**Lunar:** he's both.

**Haku:** What?

**Lunar:** Haku. Neither guy nor girl but a gender all its own. (sentence is owned by Lunar.)

**Haku:**...

**Naruto:** ...

**Haku:** I'm a guy.

**Lunar:** really?

**Haku:** ... -leaves-

**Lunar:**... bye!

**Naruto:** Isn't Haku dead?

**Lunar:** yeah. why?

**Naruto:** he was just here.

**Lunar:** and?

**Naruto:** He should be dead.

**Lunar:** I brought him back.

**Naruto:** really?

**Lunar: **yeah.

**Naruto:**oh.

**Lunar:** next!

**Shino:** Cue the disclaimer segment.

**Lunar:** Thanks. next.

**Gaara:** Cue the disclaimer Segment.

**Lunar:** SQUEE! Definately top 5

**Naruto:** ... why?

**Lunar:** Because he's hot. duh.

**Naruto:**...

**Lunar:** but i like u more.

**Naruto:**

**Lunar:** next!

**Sakura:** -walks on stage-

**Lunar:** no

**Sakura:** wha-

**Lunar:** no.

**Sakura:** but

**Lunar:** no.

**Sakura:** why?

**Lunar:** I don't like you.

**Sakura:**...

**Lunar:** Next!

**Lee:** THE DISCLAIMER SEGMENT IS YOUTHFUL!

**Random Guy:** -shoots lee-

**Lunar:** Go Random Guy!

**Naruto:** That was all of the contestants.

**Lunar:** okay voters, vote now!

-ten minutes alter-

**Lunar:** Votes are in! and the winner is... Gaara! Because he's smexy!

**Naruto:** Is that even a word?

**Lunar:** yes.

**Gaara:** Lunar doesn't own Naruto.

**Lunar:** See! He's smexy!

**Naruto:**...

**Lunar:** So are you NAruto.

**Naruto:**

**Lunar:** Someone start the danged chapter!

-------------------------------------------------

After Ichikarou's, Lynk dragged Kakashi to a large building.

"I entered you in the Eukenuba tournament of ninja champions." Lynk said.

"What?! But I'm an ninja, not a dog!" Kakashi argued.

"Exactly. I said _ninja_ champions." Lynk informed him. Signing the final entrance forms. She handed them to a lady, and then dragged Kakashi to a grooming station. Where she washed and brushed his fur, er, hari. Then she made him go into the bathroom and change into a plain, grey kimono. He wouldn't tkae off his mask, but Lynk was okay with that.

She dragged him into the waiting room. Kiba was there with Akamarou.

"Um. Kakshi? Why are you here, and why does that girl have you on a leash?" He asked.

" The stupid authoress is using me for subchaps." Kakashi answered.

"... oh. um, well, sorry..." Kiba said sympathetically.

**-FF to 1st Round-**

"First Round: Grooming!" The annouincer voice said. The judges slowly made thier rounds, but after about 3245234235 dogs and 2 weeks they finally got to Kakashi.

"... another fangirl who's gained control of a ninja. " The firs judge, whose name was Mr. Blahdiskitzer, said.

"another?" Lynk asked. Mr.Blahdiskitzer pointed to Neji, who had been captured by a red head with glasses. Mr. Blahdiskitzer looked at Kakashi.

"hm. clean clothes, shiny, smooth, tangle free hair, doesn't sthink like electric shock.. .good. good."

"Plus he's smexy." the woman judge, whose name was Mrs. LaLastizergregger, said.

"First place in grooming!" said another judge, whose name was bob. A female judge whose name does not matter, gave Lynk a ribbon.

"Yay!" Lynk said.

-----------------------------------------------------

**Lunar:** I wonder when Sasuke will be back.

**Naruto:** me too.

**Lunar:** well, we have a smexy new disclaimer announcer

**Gaara:...**

**Lunar:** I'll end the chapter now.

_**REVIEW WITH QUESTIONS FOR ANY AND ALL OF THE CHARACTERS.** _3 questions per review.


	13. Kakashi wins best in show or not

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Sub-Chap 5

_Kakashi wins best in show... or not_

**Lunar:** hm. Hi peoples!

**Naruto:** Sasuke STILL isn't back.

**Lunar:** okay then. We'll just do another sub-chap!

**NAruto:** kay.

**Kisame:** Hey. Where's Itachi?

**Lunar:** He went to see BlueEyedFun.

**Kisame:** Why?

**Lunar:** He wanted to find a way into my ceiling so that he can kill me.

**Kisame:** ah.

**Lunar:** So. Why are you here?

**Kisame: **Deidra sent me.

**Lunar:** Why?

**Kisame:** he said that he had a message for Itachi to give you.

**Lunar:** Which is?

**Kisame:**um, Deidra thinks you're scary.

**Lunar:** ...and he sent you to tell me that?

**Kisame:** un. yeah.

**Lunar:**...

**Kisame:** Can I go now?

**Lunar:** fine.

**Kisame:** -leaves-

**Naruto:** how come he can leave but I can't?

**Lunar:** Because. I don't want him here.

**Naruto:**...

**Lunar:** GAARA!

**Gaara:** What?

**Lunar:** Do the Disclaimer Segment.

**Gaara:** CUE THE DISCLAIMER SEGMENT!

**Lunar:** ... that's still smexy.

**Naruto:**...

-Disclaimer Segment-

**Asuma:** Do you get stressed? Wanan be more laid back?

**Tsunade: **... yeah, but I'm giong to the Cloud Watching hill now.

**Asuma:** huh?

**Tsunade: **you know, Shikamarou's Cloud Watching Hill.

**Asuma:** oh.

**Tsunade:** You better not be advertising cigarettes.

**Asuma:** um. no. Actually, I was advertising my trench knifes.

**Tsunade:** Oo

**Asuma:** If you want a great but relaxing workout, use Asuma's Trench Knives. Asuma's Trench knives are a claming way to work out your muscles.

**Tsunade:** um. okay.

**Asuma:** why do you think I'm so laid back?

**Tsunade: **um. the cigarettes.

**Asuma:** The smokes are fake. Lunar threatened to actually let me die if I didn't quit.

**Tsunade:** ah.

**Asuma:** yeah

**Tsunade:** nice of her to let you live.

**Asuma:** yeah.

**Gaara:** Lunar doesn't own Naruto.

**Asuma:** She doesn't? oh crap.

**Tsunade:** Sorry.

**Asuma:**...

-End Disclaimer Segment-

**Lunar:** sorry Asuma

**Asuma:** That's okay

**Naruto:**What now?

**Lunar:** I start the chapter.

------------------------------------------------------------------

After several grueling grounds, KAkashi had made it to the last round, Best in Show, along with Neji, and English Terrier, a rottwieler, a pit bull, a poodle, and the mangy dog who lives with the hobo who lives in Ino's trashbin next to her flower shop. Mr.Blahdishitzer, Mrs. Lalastixergresser, Bob, and the nameless judge walked around, looking at each dog or captured ninja.

The judges kicked out the english terrier because he had tried to eat Kakashi's leg. The Rottwieler was kicked out because he tried to eat Bob. The judges wanted to see the dogs run, so Lynk and the other fangirl made KAkashi and Neji carry them as they ran. The judges were still undecided.

They kicked out Neji because he kicked the poodle when the poodle confused him with a tree. The poodle had been disqualified because it was found out that he was hooked on heroin and that he was a drug dealer.

the only contestants left were Kakashi, the pit bull, and the scruffy dog that belonged to the hobo that lives in Ino's trashbin next to the flower shop. The judges watched them carefully.

"Third place, Sprinkles!" the pit bull proudly accepted his ribbon from the nameless judge who's name doesn't matter. Kakashi was sure he was going to win, because it was jut him and the scruffy-hobo-dog.

"and the first place, best in show winner is... " The judges waited about 1 year, 8 months, 3 weeks, 5 days, 17 hours, 13 minutes, and 56 seconds before saying," Chipper the hobo dog who lives with the hobo who lives in Ino Yamanka's trash bin that's next to her flower shop!" Kakashi fell flat on his face. Chipper happily took his ribbon and he and the hobo went back to the trash bin. Lynk took Kakashi's ribbon and then dragged him away.

---------------------------------------

**Naruto:** ha ha ha ha

**Lunar:** -laughing-

**Lynk:** It's ok Kakashi

**kakashi:** -sniffs- I lost to a hobo dog.

**Lunar:** MHUA HA HA HA

**Kakashi:** I hate you.

**Lunar:** why me and not the judges?

**Kakashi:** good point

**Lunar:** Are you going to get them?

**Kakashi:** yes.

**Lunar:** ok then

**Lynk:**Let's go Kashi-kun

**Kakashi:**Kashi-kun?

**Lynk:** you're still wearing the taser collar?

**Kakashi:** Dangit.

**Lunar:** -laughs-

**Kakashi:**Take if off, please.

**Lunar:** nah

**Kakashi:** Why not?

**Lunar:** I don't feel like it.

**Kakashi:** but why not?

**Luanr:**dunno

**Kakashi:** ...

**Lunar:** I think Sasuke's back.

**Naruto:** How do you know.

**Lunar:** Well, I'm the Great Authoress. I know all. That, and I just got a call. BlueEyedFun hid the key to my ceiling in a... very hard to get area. But Itachi and Sasuke managed. I don't want to know how.

**Naruto:** Oo

**Lunar:** Ask BlueEyedFun if you really want to know where the key was.

**Kakashi:** I don't.

**Naruto:** Neither do I.

**Kakashi:** what now?

**Naruto:** That's my line!

**Kakashi:** sorry.

**Naruto:** It's okay

**Kakashi:** have you guys been running the disclaimer segment?

**Lunar:** yeah. Gaara's our sub-chap announcer.

**Kaakshi:** ah.

**Gaara:** can I leave?

**Lunar:**no.

**Naruto:** don't feel back Gaara. I can't leave either.

**Lunar:** not until the stories over.

**Naruto:** when will that happen?

**Lunar:** When I run out of plot.

**Naruto:** will that ever happen?

**Lunar:** nope.

**Naruto:** -sighs-

**Lunar:**. ... -hides in ceiling.-

**naruto:**Lunar, why'd you go in there?

**Sasuke & Itachi:** LUNAR YOUR DEAD!

**Sasuke:** I don't even want to think about where this key has been!

**Itachi:** If you seriously want to know, go ask BlueEyedFun.

**Sasuke:** Where's the lock?

**Itachi:** -stares at Naruto-

**Naruto:** Why are you staring at me like that?

**Lunar:** It's not there!

**Itachi:** If you want to know, ask BlueEyedFun.

**Sasuke:** where is it?

**Kakashi:**... where do you think?

**Sasuke:**...

**Itachi:** oh, duh. -gets ladder, climbs to the ceiling, unscrews lightbulb, and unlocks a door into the ceiling.-

**Lunar:** AH!

**Sasuke:** WOAH! IT'S AWESOME UP HERE!

**Itachi:** KILL LUNAR!

**Lunar: **Sorry folks, but I gotta go! Next Chap will be run by my illustorous Hikari, DA ANGEL OF DA AUTHORESSES!

**Sasuke:** You have a hikari?

**Lunar:**yes.

**Sasuke:** but that means you're a yami!

**Lunar:**...duh. -dissappears-

**Itachi:** Where'd she go!

**Lunar:** Oh, and the reviewers had questions. and since my life is in danger, I'll just drag them in here and make them ask the characters themselves.

**Lone Konouchi:** Sasuke, where's emo school?

**Sasuke: **oh, you just take Oak street south about 5 miles down till you get to Maple street, then hang a right, go 6 more miles until you reach Pine street, and then go 2 miles until you get to happy happy joy joy street, then go 5 miles to emotionless lane then go 35 miles to Depression Lane. Go right, and then travel 8 feet until you get to I'm so cool Avenue. It should be the large building on the right.

**Grapefruit Ninja:** What would happen if the Kyuubi's fur was dyed pink?

**Naruto:** Hold on, let me ask the kyuubi.

**Kyuubi:** ... Funny story, my fur is actually strawberry pink. I just dyed my fur because I wanted to look all cool and crap when I attacked Konoha.

**Grapefruit Ninja:** Does Sasuke secretly have a blanket named Hubert?

**Sasuke:** No his name is Bob thank you very much.

**Naruto:**-laughing-

**Sasuke:** crud.

**Grapefruit Ninja:** Is Kakashi's mask actually superglued to his face but he's just too proud to admit it?

**Kakashi:** WHO TOLD YOU! I mean, eh, no it's not.

**Sasuke:** I'M GOING TO KILL YOU LUNAR!

**Lunar:** REVIEW! WITH QUESTIONS! YOU CAN EVEN ASK QUESTIONS FROM MY HIKARI, ANGEL! she won't mind. but please, ask questions mainly from the characters and don't ask questions about the cage -thing. please.


	14. Angel's Chapter

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter: 14 

_Angel's Chapter_

**Sasuke:** Who's Angel and where the hell is Lunar.

**Angel:** I'm Angel, and I'm Lunar's Hikari, and I don't know where she is.

**Sasuke:** You don't know where your own Hikari is?

**Angel: **nope.

**Sasuke:**...

**Angel:** I hope Lunar doesn't have any access to any explosives.

**Naruto:** Um. Why?

**Angel:** Well, you don't really want to know why, but she has been attending some school run by Marik and Bakura.

**Itachi:** You mean Marik and Bakura's School for Psycho's by TheRichNobody?

**Angel:** yes.

**Sasuke:** WHY DO WE ADVERTISE OTHER PEOPLE'S STORIES?

**Angel: **Because they're awesome.

**Sasuke:** So?

**Angel:** They deserve some recognition.

**Sasuke:**...

**Itachi:** They do Ototou.

**Sasuke:** I still hate you.

**Itachi:** I know.

**Angel:** We'll, let's see, what shall we do...

**Sasuke:** Plot Lunar's death.

**Angel:** Oo um. no.

**Sasuke:**...

**Itachi:** I already did that. -gives Sasuke the plans-

**Sasuke:** Oo um. when?

**Itachi:** I don't remember.

**Sasuke:** --

**Angel:** Can we talk about another subject?

**Sasuke:** Why?

**Angel:** Because this is making me uncomfortable.

**Sasuke:** oh. Why do I care?

**Angel:**...

**Naruto:** Why don't you cue the disclaimer segment?

**Angel:**Great idea!

**Naruto:** Just call KAkashi.

**Angel:** Kakashi!

**Kakashi:** Yes?

**Angel:** Can you start the disclaimer Segment.

**Kakashi:** yes. CUE THE DISCLAIMER NOW.

-**Disclaimer Segment-**

**Jairaya:** Do you need something to read?

**Tsunade:** -punches Jairaya- STOP ADVERTISING THOSE BOOKS

**Jairaya:** X.X

**Tsunade:** How many times have I told you this?

**Jairaya:** But this is a great advertising oppurtunity.

**Tsunade:** I don't care. you will not advertise on this fanfic, or I will kill you.

**Jairaya:** Oo okay.

**Tsunade:** good boy.

**Jairaya:** Then what should we advertise?

**Tsunade:** Gambling.

**Jairaya:** We shouldn't teach little kids to gamble.

**Tsunade:** How many little kids read fanfics?

**Jairaya:** i dunno.

**Tsunade: **Well, Gambling is better than you book.

**Jairaya:** How so?

**Tsunade:** You're book is dirty and wrong.

**Jairaya:** Some say the same about gambling.

**Tsunade:** whatever.

**Jairaya:** what now?

**Tsunade:** did you know that Itachi and Sasuke are working together?

**Jairaya:** Really? Why?

**Tsunade:** To kill Lunar.

**Jairaya:** ah.

**Tsunade:** yeah.

**Jairaya:** Can I advertise an open job position.

**Tsunade:** What is it?

**Jairaya:** a researcher.

**Tsunade:** -punches Jairaya- NO

**Jairaya:** -twitches painfully- ow.

**Kakashi:** Remember kids, you DO NOT want to end up like these two.

**Tsunade:** ...

**Jairaya:**...What? We have respectable careers.

**Kakashi:** and unrespectable habits.

**Jairaya: **Whatever.

**Tsunade:**...

**Kakashi:** Neither Lunar or Angel own Naruto or yugioh.

-**End Disclaimer Segment-**

**Angel:** So much hitting.

**Naruto:** So what now?

**Angel:** hm. idk.

**Naruto:** We need to do something.

**Angel:** I know!

**Sasuke:** What?

**Angel:** What goes on in Lunar's authoress studio.

**Sasuke:**...

**Angel:** START THE CHAPTER!

_spotspotspotspotspotspotspotspotDOTspotspotspotspotspotspot_

-ThE gReAt AuThOrEsS's StUdIo-

**Lunar:** oh, Just keep swimming, Just Keep swimming, Just keep swimming, swimming swimming, swimming swimming swimming, swimming. When we are down what do we do? We swim. swim. swim.

**Angel:** What are you doing?

**Lunar:** singing.

**Angel: **Um. I can tell.

**Lunar:** Want to sing with me?

**Angel:** um. no.

**Lunar:** ok.

**Angel:**...

**Lunar:** -playing with a small box-

**Angel:** Lunar. What is that.

**Lunar:** nooooothing.

**Angel:** Oo. okay.

**Lunar:** -dissappears-

**Angel:** ... -turns on tv- oooh. Discovery channel had a special on volcanos.

**Lunar:** -comes back with a grin-

**Angel:** What did you do?

**Lunar:** noooooootttttttthhhhhhhiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggggg.

**Angel:**...

**Lunar:** -watches out the window with binoculars-

-explosion is heard-

**angel:** LUNAR WHAT DID YOU DO.

**Lunar:** NOTHING

**Seto Kiaba: **-walks in covered in soot- I HATE YOU.

**Lunar:** -laughing-

**Angel:** LUNAR! Didn't I tell you to stop torturing Kiaba?

**Lunar:** no. You said to stop torturing Kiba.

**angel:** ...

**Kiaba:**- leaves-

**Lunar:** -cackling-

**Bakura:**- walks in- That was freakin' hilarious.

**Lunar:** thankies. Wanna help me take out a city block?

**Angel:** NO YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE OUT A CITY BLOCK. and Bakura I am calling Ryou if you even thinking about it.

**lunar:** fine... Bakura. Wanna help me annoy me hikari/

**Bakura:** sure.

**Angel:** both of you just sit down and shut up.

**Lunar:** ... yes mam.

**Angel:** Why do i not trust either of you?

**Bakura:** I don't know...

**Angel:** -leaves to her room-

**Lunar:** What should we do?

**Bakura:** Let's check the list.

**Lunar:** ok.

**Bakura:** Remember folks, we're reading from Bakura and Marik's psycho school by TheRichNobody.

**Lunar:** Read it! it's awesome!

**Bakura:** First thing, Have a mellenium item handy.

**Lunar:** I have authoress powers, so I don't need it. -laughs madly-

**Bakura:** Yes.

**Lunar:** What next?

**Bakura: **Well, according to therichnobody, we must have weapons handy. aw man. I didn't bring any.

**Lunar:** -VERY creepy evil grin- -Opens a door- This. is my weapons vault.

**Bakura:** -shining eyes- It's beautiful.

**Lunar:** oh. it is.

**Bakura:** We need no more.

**Lunar:** -chuckles-

-1 minute later-

**Angel:** -walks into an empty room- Lunar? Where did you go? -sees open weapons vault- WHY IS THE WEAPONS VAULT EMPTY?!

-somewhere else-

**Bakura:** did you hear something?

**Lunar:** no. Hey, look, there's Marik. Hi Marik.

**Marik:** what are you two doing?

**Lunar:** Causing havoc.

**Marik:** Can I help?

**Lunar:** yes.

**Marik:**oooooh. whats with the 24 pack of pepsi cans?

**lunar:** the atem/pharoah pepsi thing belongs to THERICHNOBODY, because it's freakin' awesome.

Well, I figured we'ld give them to 24 different people and have them open the cans.

**Marik:** You're evil.

**Lunar:** Thanks.

**Bakura: **I'M SO PROUD.

**Marik:** Me too.

**Lunar:** -grins psycotically-

**Marik:** ooooh, what's this? Bazookas?

**Lunar:** yes.

**Bakura: **I want one!

**Lunar:** Mhua ha ha this will be fun. -walks up to random lady- excuse me, would you open this?

**Atem:** PEPSI!

-Ten Minutes Later-

**Angel:** WHAT THE HECK, THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA IS DESTORYED, LUNAR, MARIK, BAKURA WHAT DID YOU THREE DO?

**Lunar: **It wasn't us! It was Atem! He attacked everyone for pepsi!

**Angel:** and you three didn't run around having people open the pepsi?

**lunar:** no.

**Marik:** -hides bazooka-

**Angel:** I am so calling the other hikaris.

-Ten more minutes later.-

-Bakura, Lunar, & Marik are all in a cage-

**Lunar:** And people ask how I always end up in a cage. Now, they know.

**Marik:** This is so annoying.

**Bakura:** can we get out now?

**Ryou:** no.

**Malik:** no.

**Angel:** No. You'll just have to find some non-violent way to entertain yourselves.

**Lunar:** -grins- I have an idea. -whispers an idea-

**Bakura:** You are such a great student.

**Malik: **What are you three planning?

**Marik:** oh, nothing.

**Lunar:** Ready?

**Bakura:** yes.

**Ryou:** Bakura...

**Lunar:**-singing- WE KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES,

**Bakura:** EVERYBODY'S NERVES,

**Marik:** EVERYBODY'S NERVES.

**All Three:** WE KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES BUMP BUMP BUMP

**Angel:** oh goodness.

**Ryou:** ugh.

**Malik:** SHUT UP.

**Marik:** remember kids, always do the opposite of what your hikari says go THERICHNOBODY

**Lunar/Marik/Bakura:** WE KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES,

EVERYBODY'S NERVES,

EVERYBODY'S NERVES.

WE KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES BUMP BUMP BUMP

**Ryou:** I hate them.

**Angel:** don't we all.

**Lunar/Marik/Bakura:** WE KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES,

EVERYBODY'S NERVES,

ERERYBODY'S NERVES,

WE KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES BUMP BUMP BUMP

-2 weeks 5 days, 8 hours, 22 minutes and 6 seconds later-

**Ryou:** They're driving me crazy.

**Angel:** That's their goal.

**Malik:** uuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhhh.

spotspotspotspotspotspotDOTspotspotspotspotspotspotDOTspotspot

**Naruto:** woah. poor Angel.

**Angel:** they were terrible. TERRIBLE.

**Sasuke:** Oo

**Angel:** Now you know what I LIVE with. I have to LIVE with that.

**Itachi:** Man. All three of them at once.

**Sasuke:** I still want to kill Lunar

**Itachi:** Yeah.

**Naruto:** Who knew Angel was so destructive?

**Kakashi:** I know. Now she scares me even more.

**Sasuke: **Just answer the reviewers questions and end this hellish chapter.

**Angel:** Okay. Our first questioner is grapefruit Ninja.

Where was the key? oh, well, let's just say that Sora from Kingdom hearts wasn't pleased about it's location.

Next question is for Gaara. How many grapes can you fit in your mouth?

**Gaara:** 8,392.

**Naruto:** Oo

**Gaara:** I have a big mouth and a lot of free time.

**Angel: **I think the grapefruit ninja meant whole unchewed grapes.

**Gaara:** I know. I can fit 8,392 unchewed grapes in my mouth.

**Angel:** Oo

**Naruto:** Oo

**Sasuke:** Oo

**Itachi:** Oo

**Angel: **Okay. Grapefruit ninja's next question is for Itachi.

Are you secretly a famous tap dancer?

**Itachi: **Yes.

**Angel: **Grapefruit Ninja's next question is for Kisame. Did you hold your breath for a long time when you were a little kid and is that why you are blue?

**Kisame:** WHO THE HELL TOLD GRAPEFRUIT NINJA THAT?!!!

**Itachi:** He offered me 345 pairs of tap shoes to tell him something interesting by the ramen shop.

**Kisame:**...

**Angel:** okay. BlindFoxx15 asks Gaara, why do you have those rings around your eyes.

**Gaara:** Well, Since I don't have eyebrows, I looked kinda weird, so I jacked temari's eyeliner and used it. It never came off, cause I accidentally grabbed a sharpie, so now I have these permenate lines around my eyes. but it looks fine, so I'm happy.

**Angel:** okay, last question is from mysterious man.

Hey Sasuke, how come your so cool and yet not the main character?

**Sasuke:** Because I'm TOO cool, and all the other manga and anime's main characters would be jealous of my coolness.

**Naruto:** Whatever Sasuke.

**Angel:** REVIEW WITH QUESTIONS!


	15. Lunar still isn't back

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter 15

_Still No Lunar..._

**Angel:** Lunar still hasn't come back.

**Sasuke:** I bet she's afraid.

**Angel:** You are trying to kill her.

**Sasuke:** and?

**Angel:** Most people to get cared when people try to kill them.

**Naruto:** They do.

**Sasuke:** hn.

**Naruto:** What are we going to do now?

**Angel:** I dunno. I guess I'll show you more stuff proving Lunar is nuts.

**Naruto:** We already know that.

**Angel:** As in psycho needs to be put in a nut house nuts.

**Naruto:** oh. yeah.

**Sasuke:** Great. I'll be taking a sadistic nutcase off the streets.

**Angel:** ... um. That's what the cage is for.

**Sasuke:** that works?

**Angel:** When we remember to lock it.

**Naruto:**...

**Angel:** Where's Kakashi?

**Kakashi:** Right here.

**Angel:** Disclaimer Segment, please.

**Kakashi:** CUE THE DISCLAIMER SEGMENT.

-**Disclaimer Segment**-

**Marik:** Do you want to be a good psycho?

**Bakura:** or do you just want to cause general chaos?

**Marik:** Do you really, REALLY want to send your hikari to the nearest nut house?

**Bakura:** Then you need to come to 'Bakura and Marik's psycho school by TheRichNobody

**Marik:**You'll learn everything you need to know about being a psycho

**Bakura:** Like, how to break out of jail!

**Marik:** How to steal massive amounts of money from rich jerks,

**Bakura:** How to ruin school assemblies,

**Marik:** How to annoy people,

**Bakura: **How to make your hikari believe that THEY are the crazy ones,

**Marik:** and much, much, much more!

**Bakura:** So if you think that someone getting hit by a bus is hilarious.

**Marik:** Or if you've been visited by the men in white so much that you're on a first name basis with them,

**Bakura:** Bob and Joe are great,

**Marik:** Yes they are.

**Bakura:** or if you enjoy blowing up small animals,

**Marik:** or blowing up other people,

**Bakura:** or if you laugh when people scream,

**Marik:** Or if you enjoy torturing people,

**Bakura:** I love torturing people,

**Marik:** me too.

**Bakura:** What's your favorite type of torture?

**Marik:** I like psychological torture.

**Bakura:** Really? I prefer physical torture.

**Marik:** It's funny either way

**Bakura:** Yeah.

**Marik:** or if you're just looking to improve your psychoness,

**Bakura:** Then you need to come to 'Bakura and Marik's School for Pyscho's by TheRichNobody!

**Marik:** We'll see you there!

**Kakashi:** Lunar does own:

Naruto,

Yugioh,

Bakura and Marik's School for pyscho's by TheRichNobody.

-**End Disclaimer Segment**-

**Sasuke:** Is it just me, or do you two advertise for other authors/authoresses, a lot.

**Angel:** We do.

**Sasuke:** Why?

**Angel:** Why not?

**Sasuke:** Because you want people to pay attention to your fanfic.

**Angel:** I want people to pay attention to my favorite fanfic writers too.

**Sasuke:** You shouldn't.

**Angel:** you're mean.

**Sasuke:** From now on, you shouldn't advertise other fanfic writers.

**Angel:** Why not.

**Sasuke:** because I said so.

**Angel:** ... Everyone should read stories by:

Macakatori,

Ecolianddahchihuahua,

Kit-Pocket,

TheRichNobody,

Lone Konouchi,

BlueEyedFun,

Sharingan Princess,

Determined,

Mmasha,

BlindFoxx15,

Rae Crawford,

Axenator,

Numina Namine,

RidiculouslyInsane,

Sarsaparilla,

Akkadia,

Musician in the Making,

Sakura3109,

hanakitsunechan7,

Sy Druid,

um, I can't remember any more... There's so many...

**Sasuke:** You did that just to annoy me. Didn't you.

**Angel:** yes.

**Sasuke:**-glares-

**Itachi:** I don't think I like some of these people.

**Naruto:** Why.

**Itachi:** well, some of the wrote Know Your Stars, and included me.

**Naruto:** who.

**Itachi:** I know Ecolianddahchihuahua and Sharingan Princess wrote KYS fanfics, but I can't remember if they included me or not.

**Angel:** OMG don't even pretend like you hate Ecolianddahchihuahua or Sharingan Princess! THEY'RE AWESOME.

**Itachi:** THEY MOCKED MY SMEXY UCHIHA COOLNESS!

**Sasuke:** ME TOO!

**Angel:** That, is so a lame reason.

**Itachi:** meh.

**Angel:** I think I'll write a sub-chap about what happened when Lunar first met the aktsutaki (Sp?)

**Itachi:** I. Hate. You.

**Angel:** I know.

**slashslashslashslashBOINGslashslashslashslashBOINGslashslash**

Lunar, the Great Authoress, was bored out of her wits. So, she decided to pay a visit to the aktsutaki. After all, it was such a day, why not visit a group of blood thirsty killers?

**Itachi's POV**

Itachi had been happily painting his nails a gorgeous shade of Fluff Puff purplse when a knocking sound caused him to get a binty molecule of nail polish on his cuticle.

'_Ugh. Who dares disturb me im my moment of fluffy puffy purplely happines?!'_ He thought angrily. He opened the door and then slammed it shut.

"We're not buying anything." He informed the girl who had been standing outside the door.

"I'm not selling anything." She replied. He opened the door.

"Then why are you here?" Itachi demanded.

"I dunno. I guess I'm just here to visit!" She giggled.

" A visitor? Let her in, un!" Kisame popped up from wherever he was five seconds ago. Itachi just slammed the door. That girl had disturbed his fluffy puffy purply happiness. She can't come in now."Nice place." The girl said. Itachi blinked. '_how the hell did she get inside?'_

" Who. the hell. are you." Itachi glared, using his sharigan for extra effect, which still didn't work due to the fact that he was wearing a purple fluffy bathrobe that matched his nails perfectly. and he only had to kill 34234234 people to get it made.

"Me? I'm Lunar. " She sat on the couch, and picked up Itachi's bottle of nail polish.

"What's up with this? Fluff Puff Purple? ew. I perfer Sea shells that shine by the sea shore dotted with purple sparkly glitter made by the pretty purple monks of the purple palaces of the playful purple puppies that grow up to be large purple wolves that eat the pretty purple fish that swim around in the pretty purple lake that is connected to the pretty purple river that flows straight to the sparkly purple bay that is where the purple muscles eat the purple stuff and their shells become pretty and purple and then they get eaten and the pretty purple shells end up on the pretty purple shore where they sparkly by the pretty sparkly sea water. It's my favorite nail color." Lunar said.

"Me too!" Kisame held up that very shade of nail polish.

"Squee! Let me do your nails!" Lunar jumped up.

" Sure!" Kisame held out his hands. Itachi glared. '_How dare she insult MY Fluff Puff Purple Nail Polish?!'_

"Itachi? Can you get some popcron for us?" Kisame asked.

"No." Itachi growled.

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty Please?"

"No."

"Pretty Please with 23423 bottles of your nail polish on top?"

"No." Itachi said again. Kisame pouted.

" Don't worry Kisame! I'll get some!" Lunar produced a bowl of popcorn from who knows where.

"Thanks, un!" Kisame grabbed a handful of popcorn.

'_OH SNAPPIDY SNAPS, SHE AN AUTHORESS!_' Itachi realized. '_oh, I am so going to regret opening that door._'

"Itachi's mean." Kisame said.

"I know! He's just a big green meanie!" Lunar said cheerfully. Kisame looked up at Itachi, and almost chocked on popcorn because he started laughing. Itachi got this '_oh snaps i've been hit by authoress powers..._' feeling, and ran to a mirror. He had been turned all shades of green.

**-Somewhere in Destiny Islands Kingdom Hearts**-

Sora heard a loud, painful shriek.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Sounds like someone lost his smexy." Riku answered, ingoring Sora's wtf look.

"And how do you know?"

-**Back in the Base**-

Kisame laughed. "Funny. When will that go away?"

"I dunno."Lunar asnwered. Kisame sweatdropped.

**ff 2 weeks.**

"How... the hell... did you... do _that_" a battered, bruised and beaten Itachi growled.

"I AM LUNAR, THE GREAT AUTHORESS!!!! duh." Lunar laughed.

"I. HATE. you." Itachi growled.

"I know Tachi-kun. I know." Lunar dissappeared, leaving the aktsutaki to hire 4 more therapists, simply to help them deal with the two weeks lunar had spent with them.

**slashslashslashslashBOINGslashslashslashslashslashBOINGslash**

**Itachi:** I still hate those two weeks.

**Sasuke:** What happened?

**Itachi:** -shudders- IT WAS TERRIBLE. TERRIBLE.

**Sasuke:** Oo -scoots away slowly-

**Angel:** Poor, Poor Itachi.

**Itachi:** Where were you when she paid her visit?

**Angel:** I was vacationing in Barbados.

**Itachi:** ...

**Angel:** Such lovely weather those two weeks.

**Itachi:**...I hate you.

**Angel:** Sadly, I know.

**Sasuke:** What now?

**Angel:** Let's see if there are any questions.

First Question, is from Lone Kounouchi for Jiaraya.

How come you were the first choice for 5th hokage?

**Jairaya:** Well, I was a sanin, and they used the classic hokage selection ritual.

**Angel:** Classic Hokage Selection Ritual?

**Jairaya:** yeah...

**Babblebabblebabblebabblebabblebabblebabblebabble**

The council was at a loss. they REALLY needed a hokage. So they decided to use the Classic hokage Selection Ritual. They had to. There was no other choice. As dangerous as this ritual was, they had to do it.

After two days of preperation, fasting, strength training, speed training, and guard training, they believed they were ready. They wrote their wills, said goodbye to their families, gave offerings to thier ancestors, and cussed out the people they don't like.

Then they walked into the hokages office, walked out on to a balcony, picked up the sacred stone of the Classic Hokage Selection Ritual...and threw it out towards a crowd of shoppers where it hit and knocked out Jairaya.

"It looks like Jairaya will be our nomination for the 5th hokage." One of the council members said to another, who just nodded.

**dotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotSCRABBLEBOARDSdotdotdo**

**Angel:** -sweatdrops- That's _ it?_! that's how people selection the hokage nominations?!

**Jairaya:** yeah.

**Angel:**... Next question. Grapefruit Ninja's Little sister has some questions. First Question is for Itachi. How did you get the old man lines? besides getting old

**Itachi:** This was answered by a fanfic author.. Who, I don't remember. See, my nose was .0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000002 mm off of being perfectly centered, so I got nose surgery, which left scars. Which make me look smexy.

**Angel:** ok. Her next question is for Kisame. How many times have you watched jaws?

**Kisame:** Oh, only about 2348912734890712389412394623892345234523452347589234562348972589273458123495712348957238957123846237224378561287462387468123756273846281735681273468721356782136578123561283756281375 times. That's it.

**Angel:** You've watched all the jaws movies that many times!!!!

**Kisame:** No, that was just the first movie!

**Angel:** OO um. itachi. she would like to know how the tap shoes are working.

**Itachi:** They're working great! thanks!

**Angel:** Now for Grapefruit Ninja's questions.

Orochimarou, How long does your tounge stretch?

**Orochimarou:** Let's find out. Kabuto! Stand here and hold my tounge!

**Kabuto:** -shudders- yes sir. -holds it-

**Orochimarou:** -starts running around the world.-

-**Ten Days Later**-

**Orochimarou:** -finishes rerolling tounge- Okay, 2349823748923748927133894291385612378461237846823756278946812735623475234895689123748902136478123568273468901237692378461238741678946 and a half miles.

**Angel:** ew. Next question is for everyone. What would you do if you had a lifetime supply of peanut butter?

**Itachi:** Trade it for a lifetime supply of nail polish.

**Sasuke:** Use it to kill Lunar, then Itachi.

**Kakashi:** Feed it to Pakkun and laugh at him.

**Naruto:** Trade it for a lifetime supply of ramen.

**Kisame:** Use it to prank people.

**Neji:** use it to soften my skin.

**Tenten:** Use it to de-gay Neji.

**Naruto:** You can de-gay Neji?

**TenTen:**no... -sniffles-

**Neji:** Hey! I'm not gay! I just have a feminine build.

**Shikamarou:** Use it to shut Ino up.

**Ino:** Use it to stick forehead girl to a wall so I have have Sasuke.

**Sakura:** Use it to stick Ino-pig to a wall so **I** can have Sasuke.

**Choji:** I'd eat it.

**Orochimarou:** I think both Kabuto and Sasuke know what I'd do with it.

**Sasuke & Kabuto:** -shudder-

**Kabuto:** I'd use it for medicinal purposes.

**Angel: **No one else is here. Next questions is everyone except Orochimarou.

OO

**Sasuke:** what is it?

**Angel:** um. Grapefruit Ninja Says, quote on quote : Everyone except the creepy snake man (AKA Martha): Feel my legs! They're smoothy smooth smooth!

**Everyone:** OO um. no thanks.

**Angel:** Nice name, Martha.

**Orochimarou:**SHUT UP.

**Angel:** REVIEW. WITH QUESTIONS. 


	16. DEATH TO LUNAR

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter 16

_Death To Lunar_

**Angel:** -sigh- I wonder where Lunar is.

**Sasuke:** I hope she's rotting in hell.

**Angel:** You're such a lovely boy. -sarcasm-

**Sasuke:** I know. -poses-

**Angel:** - sweatdrops-

**Naruto:** What should we do now?

**Angel:** Bake cookies?

**Itachi:** NOT THE COOKIES!

**Angel:**Oo

**Sasuke:** Oo

**Naruto:** Oo

**Itachi:**-shaking-

**Angel:** Why not cookies?

**Itachi:** -shifty eyes- no reason.

**Sasuke:** Oo Liar.

**Itachi:** I didn't lie! It was the cookies!

**Sasuke:** Oo What?

**Itachi:** uh, I mean, um, I don't like cookies.

**Angel:** and? what if we like cookies?

**Itachi:** NO COOKIES!!! 

**Sasuke:** Oo

**Naruto:**-gets out package of chocolately chipity cookies-

**Itachi:** What is that?

**Naruto:** A package of chocolately chipity cookies

**Itachi:** OO Don't open those!

**Naruto:** Why not?

**Itachi:** don't...

**Naruto:** -grabs opening tab-

**Itachi:** OO NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PLEASE, NOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Naruto:** -starts pulling tab-

**Itachi:** OO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Naruto:** -opens cookies-

**Itachi:**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! -huddles in corner-

**Naruto:** -takes out a cookie-

**Itachi:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DON'T HURT ME MR COOKIE!

**Naruto:** Oo -holds cookie out toward Itachi-

**Itachi:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DON'T HURT ME!

**Sasuke:** Oo

**Angel:** Oo

**Naruto:** Oo

**Sasuke:** -evil grin-

**Angel:**...Sasuke...

**Sasuke:** -grabs cookie-

**Naruto:** Hey... that was mine.

**Sasuke:** Shut up dobe. -throws cookie at Itachi-

**Itachi:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FORGIVE ME MR. COOKIE! FORGIVE ME! -runs away from cookie-

**Angel:** Oo

**Naruto:** Oo

**Sasuke:** XD HA HA HA HA HA HA -gets another cookie-

**Itachi:** NOOOOOOOO HAVE PITY LITTLE BROTHER!

**Sasuke:** NEVER!!!! -throws cookies at Itachi- HA HA HA HA HA

**Itachi:** -runs- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Sasuke:** -laughing madly-

**Angel:** -trying not to laugh-

**Naruto:** - struggling not to laugh-

**Itachi:** DON'T HURT ME, OH GREAT COOKIES!!!

**Sasuke:** - still throwing cookies at Itachi while laughing-

**Itachi:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M SO SORRY COOKIE-LORD!!!!!

**Angel:** Cookie-lord?

**Lunar:** oh yeah...

**Angel:** Lunar? When did you get here?

**Lunar:** When Itachi started screaming for the cookie forgiveness.

**Angel:** Lunar. Did you have something to do with this.

**Lunar:** -shifty eyes- um. nooo.

**Angel:** Lunar, what. did. you. do.

**Lunar:** -sigh- fine. Give me a minute and I'll set it up as the chapter.

**Angel:** I really wonder what you've done to torture some of these people.

**Lunar:** You mean, what I have done to completely deteriorate their sanity?

**Angel:**...yes.

**Lunar:** -crazy grin-

**Angel:** Oo What's wrong with you?

**Sasuke:** What's wrong with who?

**Angel:** Lunar.

**Sasuke:** LUNAR'S HERE?! -burns all the cookies-

**Itachi:** -hugs Sasuke-YOU'VE SAVED ME!!!!

**Sasuke:** Lunar's back!

**Itachi:** WE MUST KILL HER!

**Lunar: **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! RUN THE DISCLAIMER SEGMENT!

**Kakashi:** kay. CUE THE DISCLAIMER!!!!!!

**-Disclaimer Segment-**

**Kisame:** Is someone trying to kill you?

**Itachi:** Is it one of us?

**Diedra:** Is your death imminent?

**Sasori:** Are you terminal? or just clumsy?

**Tobi:** Is Tobi a good boy?

**Kisame:** -ignoring Tobi- Then you need...

**Itachi:** The Aksutaki brand...

**Diedra:** Red Cloud Caskets!

**Sasori:** The perfect caskets for any occasion!

**Kisame:** Available at any time!

**Itachi:** At any place!

**Sasori:** Any situation!

**Tobi:** Tobi is a good boy! Right?

**Kisame:**-still ignoring Tobi- In fact, yo ucan buy Red Cloud Caskets...

**Itachi:** Right before I use my sharingan on you!

**Deidra:** Right before I blow you up!

**Sasori:** Right before I kill ya with a rubber band!

**Kisame: **A rubber band?

**Sasori:** shut up, it's deadly.

**Tobi:** Tobi is a good boy!

**Kisame:** -still ignoring tobi- so remember,

**Itachi:** If you're terminal,

**Diedra:** Or in mortal danger,

**Sasori:** Or if you want an interesting conversation topic,

**Tobi:** Is Tobi a good boy?

**Kisame:**-still ignoring Tobi- Then you need...

**Kisame, ITachi, Diedra &Sasori:** RED CLOUD CASKETS!

**Tobi:** TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!

**Kisame:** SHUT UP TOBI.

**Kakashi:** Lunar doesn't own Naruto or south park.

**Tobi:** Tobi is a good boy.

**Kisame:** -gets out sword- DIE TOBI-

**Tobi:** ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

-**End Disclaimer Segment**-

**Naruto:** What's Southpark?

**Angel:** A TV show

**Naruto:** oh.

**Lunar:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**Sasuke:** STAND STILL SO WE CAN KILL YOU!

**Lunar:** no!

**Angel:** -sweatdrops-

**Itachi:** -tackles Lunar to the ground-

-Ten Minutes Later-

**Lunar:** -dead-

**Angel:** Omg, you bastard, you killed Lunar!

**Sasuke:** I know! MHUA HA HA HA HA

**Itachi:** Finally, I have my revenge.

**Angel:** I'm running Lunar's last chapter. -sniffs-

dotdotdotdotWdotdotdotdotWdotdotdotdotdotWdotdotdotdotWdotdotdot

Itachi sighed, and hid in his room. That girl, Lunar, had only been there for two days, and already she was driving him crazy. ITachi, was throughly convinced that Lunar was here only to annoy the hell out of him. So far, she insulted his most sacred nail polish, dyed him colors that didn't fit him well, blew up half the base , convinced Sasori that he was a girl, repaired the base, stole Itachi's favorite stuffed animls, set them on fire, threw them off a cliff, into a giant box of gun powder, oblitering a small country, and then she laughed at the funeral Itachi held for his lost stuffed animals. Yep. Itachi definately hated Lunar. Almost as much as he hated the color pink seperate story.. and yet, still Lunar's fault.

he decided to go and partake in his favorite relaxing activity. Baking cookies. Itachi walked into the kitchen, closed the door, put on his 'I'm so smexy' apron, and took out the baking supplies.

Itachi began to mix the perfect dough for super deluxe chocolately chipity cookies. He had gotten the dough to the prefect consistancy, when the devil herself walked into the droom.

"Hias, Tachi-kun!" Lunar said cheerfully

"Go die." Itachi growled. That girl had tortured him enough, how dare she interrupt his cookie baking time.

"Watcha making?" Lunar asked.

"None of your business." Itachi snapped, giving her his best 'I hate you and you deserve to die and get the hell away from me or else' look. Lunar just grinned a 'ha ha go ahead' look. Then she bounced over to the bowl where Itachi had been mixing his cookie dough.

"Ooohhh. Chocolately chipity cookie dough. Can I like the spoon when you're done?" Lunar asked.

"No. You can have no chocolatly chipity goodness. Now get out." Itachi shoved her out of the kitchen.

"Have it your wayy." Lunar said in this 'hee hee i'm evils' singsong voice, and went off to go see Deidra, who seemed to enjoy blowing things up with her. Everytime she annoyed him, he'd try to blow her up. Then she'd squeal, say his bombs were awesome, and then they'd start talking about how awesome explosions were. and sooner or later, something would be blown up. Probably Sasori.

Itachi shrugged, and then decided to use al lhis cookie dough to create one, big, giant, uber chocolately chipity cookies. He shoved his mega-cookie into the oven, and then set it to bake, and walked away to go keep Diedra and Lunar from blowing up the base... again.

-Ten Minutes Later-

Itachi brushed the soot off of his apron, and made a mental note to make Lunar repair the base. he walked into the thankfully still in one piece kitchen, and pulled out his 'Mega Cookie'. He set it down on the counter, and then he got out a giant cookie plate and a cup of milk. When he turned back to his cookie, it was gone. A giant shadow loomed over him. ITachi turned around to see a massive cookie looming over him.

"I am the Great Cookie Lord! How dare you bake me, and then try to eat me! You shall pay, Uchiha Itachi!" The Great Cookie lord informed Itachi. Itachi ran screaming from the massive killer cookie.

-15 minutes later-

Lunar walked into the kitchen to find the cookie lord beating an unconcious Itachi. Lunar killed the cookie lord, and then took a blackmail picture of the beaten Itachi. Then she left to go blow up Kisame's room.

dotdotdotdotWdotdotdotdotWdotdotdotdotWdotdotdotdotWdotdotdotdot

**Angel:** ...

**Itachi:** Lunar created the cookie king. Freakin -censored-

**Naruto:** You got beat up. By a cookie.

**Itachi:** Shut up.

**Sasuke:** Ha ha ha you got pwned by a cookie.

**Itachi:** Shut up. At least Lunar, the cause of all evil, is dead.

**Luanr:** I am?

**NAruto:** AHhh! Zombie-authoress!

**Lunar:** Naruto. I'm not a zombie. or a ghost.

**Sasuke:** Then how are you here?

**Itachi:** We kileld you!

**Lunar:** Yeah, but I came back. After all. everyone knows that you can't kill an authoress!

**Itachi:** ... You could've told us that before we killed you.

**Lunar:** nah. That was fun.

**Sasuke:**... You have major issues.

**Lunar:** I know.-smiles crazily-

**Naruto:** You scare me.

**Lunar:** I know.

**Angel:** Lunar... You need to go to therapy.

**Lunar:** awww. But then I'll act normal!

**Angel:** Yes. For a grand total of five minutes.

**Lunar:** Five terrible moments.

**Angel:** -rolls eyes-

**Lunar:** you can go now Angel.

**Angel:** you sure? They might try to kill you again.

**Lunar:** I'll just come back again.

**Angel: ** good point.

**Lunar:** See ya Angel.

**Naruto:** Bye Angel!

**Sasuke:** Bye Angel!

**Itachi:** PLEASE DON'T LEAVE US WITH THIS NUTCASE?

**Angel:** Bye! -leaves-

**Lunar:**-nutcase? Oh, you're gonna LOVE the next chapter.

**Itachi:** -scared-

**Lunar:** We have no questions. So see you next chapter!

**Itachi:**...HELP!


	17. GUESTS!

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter 17

_Guests! _

Lunar: YAY!!!

**Sasuke:** What are you so happy about?

**Lunar:** I'm having guests today!

**Sasuke:** Who?

**Lunar:** Two of my bestest friends EVER!

**Sasuke:**... Names please.

**Lunar:** RM and Creator!

**Sasuke:** Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

**Lunar:** Because you're a pessimist.

**Sasuke:** shut up.

**Lunar:** I CAN'T WAIT TILL THEY GET HERE.

**Sasuke:** I can.

**Lunar:** BE NICE.

**Sasuke:** Go die.

**Lunar:** Can't.

**Sasuke:** Damn you.

**Naruto:** Who's RM and creator?

**Lunar:** MY BESTSEST PSYCHO FRIENDS.

**Naruto:** Sasuke, I'm scared!!!!

**Sasuke:** Me too. ITACHI!!!!

**Itachi:** What?

**Sasuke:** Lunar's bringing friends over.

**Itachi:**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!-runs-

**Lunar:** I wonder what we should play. Oh, I know, we'll play KYS!

**Sasuke:** Kys?

**Lunar:** Know your Stars!

**Sasuke:** not that thing!

**Lunar:** -hears doorbell ring- They're here!

**Sasuke:** oh no. -hides behind couch-

**Gaara:** Hi.

**Sasuke:** Since when have you been here?

**Gaara:** I'm the sub-disclaimer segment accouncer.

**Sasuke:** ah.

**Naruto:** Chips?

**Sasuke:** yeah thanks.

**Gaara:** thanks.

**Lunar:** you be nice. Sasuke.

**Sasuke:** Or what?

**Lunar:** Or I make you the star of this chapter.

**Sasuke:** damnit.

**Lunar:** -laughs-

**Naruto:** Some's knocking at the door. shouldn't you answer it?

**Lunar:** oh yeah... -runs to a door and opens it.- HI.

**Naruto:** Lunar. that's a closet.

**Lunar:** oh. -runs to another door- HI.

**Sasuke:** That's the bathroom.

**Lunar:** oh. Hi Neji.

**Neji:** Can't you see I'm combing my hair?

**Lunar:** sorry. -opens another door- HI.

**Naruto:** That's a window.

**Lunar:** Oo...oh. - tries again- HI.

**Creator:** Hi Lunar! Was wondering when you were gonna answer the door... thought mabey chicken-butt-hair-cut did something-points to sasuke while speaking-

**Sasuke:** -glares- MY HAIR DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A CHICKEN'S BUTT!!!!

**Creator:** -grins- Yes.. it does..

**Sasuke:** NO IT DOESN'T YOU CRAZY WOMAN!!!!

**Lunar:** funny, he usually says that to me.

**Creator:** - chibi hugs Lunar- He yelled at me! TT

**Lunar:** DON'T YELL AT THE CREATOR!!! -hits Sasuke with a giant mallet.

**Naruto: **Where did you get the gaint mallet?

**Lunar:** Dunno.

**Naruto:** -sweatdrops-

**Creator:** -laughs- Okay... that is one of the funniest things I have seen! Great Job Lunar. So, have you been donig anything in particular to torture them? -tilts head towards the naruto characters-

**Neji:** I wish you didn't ask her that.

**Creator:** -grins- Oh! She must of been doing some pretty awesome stuff! -grins-

**Neji:** -looks annoyed-

**Lunar:** Neji's just mad because I walked in on him brushing his hair.

**Neji:** Shut up.

**Lunar:** that, and I told Naruto that Neji said fate, so Naruto beat him up.

**Naruto:** Neji said fate?

**Neji:** No I di-

**Lunar:** -cuts neji off- YES.

**Naruto:** grrrrrrr. -starts beating the daylights out of neji-

**Lunar:** I love my job.

**Creator:** -laughs- Oh, this is freakin awesome! -thinks of something and grins- Sasuke... you should pull your boy-friend off of Neji. -grins and whispers to Lunar- This is going to be good!

**Sasuke:** - glares at Creator-What did you just say?!

**Creator:**-grins- you heard me.

**Sasuke:** -gets in Creator's face- Say that again and I'll kill you. Naruto and I do NOT go out and NEVER will.

**Lunar:** DON'T THREATEN CREATOR!!1- slaps sasuke-

**Sasuke:** ow.

**Creator:** If it isn't true about you two dating... then why are you making such a fuss about it? I mean, there's a lot of fanfics about it.

**Lunar: **and pictures. -shows sasunaru pic-

**Naruto:** OO MY EYES.

**Sasuke:** OMG, WHAT AM I DOING TO THE DOBE?

**Naruto:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Lunar:** lol.

**Creator:** -laughs and sees pic- Oh, this is my favorite pic! -grins-

**Sasuke & Naruto:**- glares at Creator- Give us the pic!

**Creator:** No way! you are NOT burning it! O -sticks pic down shirt- HAHA Can't get it now!

**Sasuke & Naruto: **-look annoyed & then grin evilly-

**Sasuke:** I've been worse places then that.

**Creator:** Uh oh... -starts running-

**Sasuke:** -runs after Creator-

**Lunar:** Oo... Creator, you don't even want to know where Sasuke went to get the key to my ceiling.

**Sasuke:** -shudders- actually, it was Itachi.

**Lunar: **Either way, EW.

**Itachi:** It wasn't me, It was Sasuke.

**Sasuke:** DOES IT MATTER? ONE OF US STILL HAD TO GET IT FROM...THERE.

**Itachi:** good point. that was scary. very. scary.

**Creator:** I'm slightly confussed. But oh well.. Hi Itachi! -chibi hugs him-

**Lunar:** If you don't get it, pm me and I'll tell you what Blue Eyed fun told Itachi and Sasuke.

**Itachi:** -annoyed- Get off me...

**Creator:** No. -grins-

**Itachi:** I said to get off of me. -glares down at creator-

**Creator:** O.O -jumps off of him- um, sorry?

**Gaara:** -comes out from behind the couch- Will you all shut up?

**Creator:** -has big shiny happy anime eyes- GAARA-KUN!!! -chibi hugs him-

**Lunar:** -offers creator taser collar- Gaara is best behaved when he's on a leash.

**Gaara:** - to lunar- I hate you.

**Lunar:** I know. I know.

**Creator:**- continues to hug Gaara- No, I don't need it. -rubs cheeck against Gaara's- I would never torture him... everyone else...yes.-grins-

**Gaara:** -looks annoyed- Stop doign that...

**Creator: **I don't wanna.

**Lunar:** -laughing her head off-

**Sasuke:** -walks out of the bathroom.- Sorry. I really need to bathe after just THINKING about that.

**Itachi:** MY TURN!!-runs in-

**Lunar:** -chibi hugs NAruto- weee chibi hugging fest

**Naruto:** I'm never going to get you off. am I?

**Lunar:** nope.

**Gaara:** -pushes Creator off and walks out of room-

**Creator:** -frowns and looks sad- He pushed me off...

**Sasuke:** I would too if I was being hugged by YOU.

**Creator:** -Looks really said and is on the verge of tears- That is so mean.

**Sasuke:** O.O... is she about to cry?

**Lunar:** OMG YOU MEANIE! -chases Sasuke around with the world's biggest mallet-

**Sasuke:**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Naruto:** poor creator. you can hug... um, -grabs neji- you can hug neji!

**Neji:** HEY.

**Creator:** Nah, he had TenTen-spots a teddy bear- I'd rather hug the teddy bear. -hugs teddy-

**Neji: **I'm glad...yet... I feel insulted at the same time.. oh well. hey, that's Mr.Snuffeles!

**Naruto:** Mr. Snuffeles?

**Neji:** um, never mind.

**Creator:** -still hugging bear-Sorry Neji

**Neji:** It's okay. Watch this. -sits and pouts- I FEEL EMO!!!

**Lunar:** Don't feel emo!

**Neji:** -smirks- see? Insta-hug.

**Naruto:** -pouts-

**Lunar:** OMG. KAWAII. -chibi glomps naruto-

**Naruto:** -smirks at neji-

**Neji:** You're being hugged by a psycho.

**Naruto:** You were being hugged by a psycho first.

**Neji: **good point.

**Lunar:** I JUST HEARD THE DOORBELL RING! Sasuke, OPEN THE DOOR.

**Sasuke:** WHY ME?

**Lunar:** -holds up blackmail pic-

**Sasuke:** -runs to open door-

**Creator:** Oh, I hope it is RM! She is so much fun! -grins at Neji and chibi hugs him-

**Neji:** Why are you hugging me?

**Creator:** Cause I wanna.

**Neji:** --

**Lone Konouichi:** Hey guys! -runs into main room- -sees Creator hugging neji and titls head- Why are you doing that? Nevermind... i probably don't wanna know...

**Creator:** I just felt ike hugging him! -sees Gaara come back in- Since GAARA doesn't like me...

**Gaara:** -looks at neji and glares- nope.

**Neji:** What? She hugged me!

**Lunar:** awwwww. poor Gaara. How do you feel?

**Gaara:** unloved. as usual.

**Lunar:** AWWWWWWWWWW -hugs gaara- YOU'RE SO LUVEDED!

**Gaara:** You can always count on a lunar hug.

**Itachi:** What is this, hug fest?

**Lunar:** awwwwww, Itachi, do you feel unloved now?

**Itachi:** yes.

**Lunar:** AWWWWWWWW-hugs itachi-

**Creator:** -lets go of Neji cause he was getting annoyed-

**Neji:** -runs away-

**Creator:** -sniffels- so lonley

**Kiba:** -pops out of nowhere and hugs creator, then leaves-

**Creator:** Oo

**RM:**So... Um... What did you guys call me here for anyways? I'm not good with parties, so if this is a party thingy, can I not be expected to do much of anything? -hits head into wall- ARg! I'm supposed to be doing something inteseting and I'm being as interesting as um...let me get back to you on that. -beings to think.-

**Lunar:** AWWWWWWWWWWWWW. We called ya cause you're one of our bestest friends!

**Sasuke:**...

**Lunar:** at least you're not boring as Sasuke.

**Sasuke:** HEY!

**RM:** Yay! It's nice to be loved! and Sasuke is not that boring! -looks at Sasuke- I never thanked you for getting the door for me. Thanks.-smiles-

**Sasuke:** uhhhhh.

**Lunar:**awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Hey, does this mean Sasuke's not gay?

**Sasuke:** Hey!

**Lunar:** heh heh heh.

**Creator:** We need to go Lunar. RM's cow character is destroying texas again.

**Lunar:** Oo okay. BYE BYES! EVERYONE SAY BY TO CREATOR AND RM!

**Everyone:** um, bye?

**Creator & Rm:** -leave-

**Naruto:** cow?

**Lunar:** don't ask. You know, this chappie was a little long. I'll answer some questions, and we'll get back to the story next chappie.

**Itachi:** Thank goodness.

**Lunar:** Our first questions are from Lone Konouchi.

Tobi, why do you want to join the atksutaki

**Tobi:** Cause Tobi's a good boy!

**Lunar**: -- Lone Konouchi's next question is

Orochimarou, have you ever tried to lick your elbow?

**Orochimarou:** Yes! -licks his elbow-

**Lunar:** -shudders- that was creepy. Now we have a question from Lee Lover Forever, who rocks by the way cause they reviewed me once every chapter, which rocked.

Orochimarou, why do you look like Michael Jackson?

**Orochimarou:** Wow, i'm popular today. Well, I don't know who Michael Jackson is, but it's probably because we're both sexy.

**Sasuke:** -punches orochimarou-

**Lunar: **-banging head against wall- I'm, so, disturbed.

**Sasuke:** me too.

**Lunar:** Naruto's Kyuubi has a question for Naruto.

What does Kyuubi do on his free time inside of you? I'm sure some of the things he does gives you stomache aches...O.o

**Naruto:** He sings, talks, writes, goes on the internet, and he recently took up tap dancing because of an internet tap dancing course.

**Lunar:** Oo he gets internet service?

**Naruto:** yep.

**Lunar:** Oo How?

**Naruto:** I dunno.

**Lunar:**..., um,Well, that was the chapter, REVIEW PEOPLES. IF YOU WANNA BE INCLUDED IN THE CONVO PART OF THE STORY, OF IF YOU WANT TO RANDOMLY APPEAR IN THE ACTUAL STORY, JUST TELL ME.


	18. Back to the Story

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter 18

_Back to the Story_

**Lunar:** Holy Crackers of Timbuktu! We're actually going back to the plot!

**Sasuke:** We had a plot?

**Lunar:** -glares- yes!

**Sasuke:** -laughs to himself-

**Naruto:** Wtf is up with the holy crackers?

**Lunar:** Well, we have a lot of saltines in my house, and I dunno, doesn't holy crackers just sound funny?

**Sasuke:** Funny as in, retarded?

**Lunar:** Don't be mean!

**Sasuke:** Whatever.

**Lunar:** hmph.

**Naruto:** So, where did we leave off?

**Lunar:** OMG. Everyone forgot, didn't they?

**Sasuke:** no duh.

**Lunar:** Shut it, emo boy.

**Sasuke:** DON'T CALL ME EMO! my therapist says it makes me more depressed.

**Lunar:** Oo You have a therapist.

**Sasuke:** DON'T MAKE FUN OF MY PROBLEMS.

**Lunar:** ummmm. Okay...

**Naruto:** I'm scared for Sasuke.

**Lunar:** OMG ARE YOU GAY?

**Naruto:** NO. HOW MANY TIMES MUST WE TELL YOU THAT WE'RE NOT GAY. WHAT ARE YOU, SOME SORT OF SASUKE/NARUTO FANGIRL?

**Lunar:** yes.

**Naruto:** OO oh.

**Lunar:** Hey, should we remind people of what happened last?

**Naruto:** um. yes.

**Lunar:** Well, last time, Naruto and Sasuke were crazy, but then Itachi, Diedra, Sasori and Kisame appeared, and Sasuke and Naruto bit all of them, so now Itachi Diedra, Sasori and Kisame are crazy and Sasuke and Naruto are normal again.

**Sasuke:** THANK GOODNESS I'M NORMAL AGAIN.

**Lunar:** As normal as you could ever get.

**Sasuke:** What?!

**Lunar:** Nothing.

**Naruto:** So, what now?

**Lunar:** OMG, our first return to the plot disclaimer segment!

**Naruto:**...okay.

**Lunar:** KAKASHI.

**Kakashi:** What?

**Lunar:** Start the disclaimer segment.

**Kakashi:** CUE THE DISCLAIMER SEGMENT!!!!

--**Disclaimer Segment**-

**Kiba:** do you like puppies?

**Akamarou:** BARK! ((do you?))

**Kiba:** Do you LOVE dogs?

**Akamarou:** BARK BARK ((and hate cats?))

**Kiba:** But can you not find a good animal place anywhere?

**Akamarou:** Bark bark yip. ((pet stores suck))

**Kiba:** Then you need to come to, the one, the only,

**Akamarou:** bark bark bark ((it's hard to miss))

**Kiba:** the Inuzuka Compound! We have all sorts of excellent nin dogs!

**Akamarou:** Bark bark ((nin dogs are better then regular dogs. ))

**Kiba:** We have everything from german shepards to wolfhounds.

**Akamarou:** Bark Bark ((yep.))

**Kiba:** So if you really want a dog,

**Akamarou:** bark bark bark (( or if your mom said get a dog or a some friends or don't come home,))

**Kiba:**Then you really,

**Akamarou:** bark bark. ((really))

**Kiba:** need to come to the Inuzuka Compound!

**Akamarou:** bark! (( now! ))

**Kakashi:** Lunar doesn't own Naruto.

--**End Disclaimer**--

**Lunar:** Now that the disclaimer segment is done, yay.

**Sasuke:** that was kinda boring.

**Lunar:** it is.

**Naruto:** What now?

**Lunar:** dunno.

**Sasuke:** ...START THE STORY.

**Lunar:** Geeze. okay...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sasuke stared at his brother. Itachi was hugging him with nearly all his might, screaming 'Otoutou' at the top of his weasely lungs. Needless to say, Sasuke was a cross between petrified, and amused. Naruto, however, was busy watching the rest of the aksutaki (sp?). Diedre and Kisame had joined Sasori in dancing the funky chicken, the electric slide, and the worm. Sakura was relieved that sasuke would not be pouncing her screaming 'Shiny' anymore and Tsunade was trying to figure out what the hell they would do with the atksutaki like this.

Naruto got out leashes, and attached it to the crazy s-class missing nin. Itachi jumped from Sasuke to Naruto. Naruto looked at the weasel, was was hugging him tightly. "um. what are you doing?"

"HUGGING THE SUPER CUTIE CUTE KITSUNE BOY!!!!" Itachi squealed, squeezing harder. Because his teammate was starting to take on a bluish hue, Sasuke pulled Itachi off of Naruto. "um, come on, Nii-san, let's go."

Itachi squealed. "SQUEEEE" then he grabbed Sasuke's hand, and dragged him off to the dry cleaners. Naruto dragged the other three, which was hard because all three were still dancing, after Itachi and Naruto. When he got there, Sasuke was watching his brother bounce around in the dry cleaners.

"Sasuke, why the dry cleaners?" Naruto asked, letting the three dancers continue, eh, dancing. Only now they were performing a three-man/shark-thing version of Swan Lake. ((creepy.))

"... I have no idea." Sasuke said, trying to think of ways to prevent Itachi from hugging him. The he noticed something.

"Why is Might Gai dancing with Diedra, Sasori and Kisame?" he said, slightly freaked out at the fact that Gai was the only one in costume, with a green tutu and tiara along with his normal outfit. Naruto shuddered.

"I don't know. nor do I want to know." Naruto said, while Sasuke nodded in agreement.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lunar:** -shudders- creepy.

**Naruto:** MY EYES.

**Sasuke:**... I'm off to my therapist.

**Lunar:** HAVE FUN SAS-UKE!!!!

**Sasuke:** I'M TELLING MY THERAPIST ABOUT THAT!!!! -runs to therapy-

**Lunar:** heh heh heh.

**Naruto:**...creepy.

**Lunar:** ooh, did I tell you that i'm starting something new?

**Naruto:** What?

**Lunar:** I'm bringing in guest authors!

**Sasuke:** great, let me guess, reviewers?

**Lunar:** yes.. but I thought you went to therapy.

**Sasuke:** I have VERY short sessions.

**Lunar:** Oo um, okay.

**Naruto:** So, who's going to be in the next chapter?

**Lunar:** well, fanofanime2006 asked first, so I guess it's them next chapter.

**Naruto:** Is the plot going to be interuppted?

**Lunar:** no.

**Itachi:** damnit.

**Lunar:** MHUA HA HA HA HA

**Itachi:** Shut up.

**Lunar:** Question time!

**Naruto:** YAY!!!!

**Lunar:** This one is from watcher343.

hinata, Is it true your backpack can hold people with blond hair and blue eyes? -cough-

**Hinata:** -stares at naruto- ... yes.

**Naruto:** Hi Hinata!

**Hinata:** um, um, um, um, h-h-hi N-n-naruto-kun.

**Naruto:**

**Lunar:** -drags naruto away and glares at hinata-

**Hinata:**...-mopes and walks away-

**Lunar:** the next questions are from Grapefruit ninja!

**Naruto:** I've missed Grapefruit ninja.

**Lunar:** So have I, naru-kun, So have I... anyway,

Here's a few for Jairaya.

When will your next book be released at what will it be called?

When will the motion picture be released?

**Jairaya:** Well, it's called Icha Icha Crazy, and it's inspired by Lunar's sub-chap, Crazy yaoi,

**Lunar:** awww, thankies.

**Jairaya:** welcome,

**Naruto:** It better not have any of us.

**Jairaya:** umm, it doesn't -lying.-

**Sasuke:** -gets out baseball bat-

**Lunar:** bad sasuke, jairaya's answering the reviewers questions. -takes away the bat-

**Sasuke:** damnit.

**Jairaya:** The motion picture will come out July 23.

**Tsunade:** WHAT?

**Jairaya:** oops.

**Sasuke:** Can I kill him now?

**Lunar:** go ahead. -gives back baseball bat-

**Jairaya:** oh snaps. -runs-

**Sasuke:** -laughs madly and chases after jairaya-

**Lunar:** Next question is for Itachi.

Are the rumors true? Are you teaching Kyuu-kun's internet tap dancing course?

**Itachi:** YES! That's why he's so good at it! because I taught him! MHUA HA HA HA HA.

**Lunar:** Oo um, okay... next is for Sakura.

Sakura, I tried pepto bismal, but it didn't work? how did you die your hair pink?

**Sakura:** well, my hair used to be brown, but one day, I took a tour of a bubble gum factory, and then Ino pushed be off the path, and I fell into a tub of the pink dye, and now my hair, no matter how much it grows, is permantly pink.

**Lunar:** ha ha ha hah a

**Sakura:** SHUT UP

**Lunar:** next question is from Naruto's Kyuubi,

Naruto, are you afraid of hounds because they hunt foxes?

**Naruto:** No, but kyuubi is.

**Lunar:** okay, speaking of kyuubi, next chapter's guest, fanofanime2006, would like to have kyuubi. so she can. for a few chapters.

**Kyuubi:** WHAT?!

**Lunar:** heh heh heh. -gives fanofanime2006 kyuubi complete with a giant red bow, a leash, and an electric taser collar to make him behave- just say BEHAVE and kyuubi gets an electric shock.

**Kyuubi:** WHAT?

**Lunar:** see you next chapter, kyuu-kun.

**Kyuubi:** -is sent to fanofanime2006 screaming-

**Lunar:** mhua ha ha ha ha ha.

**Lunar:** REVIEW, WITH QUESTIONS!!!!!!!AND IF YOU WANT TO BE A GUEST, TELL ME!


	19. FanofAnime2006 visits with cookies!

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter 19

_FanofAnime2006 visits, with cookies!_

**Lunar:** YAY We're back!

**Naruto:** You're finally updating.

**Lunar:** I know!

**Sasuke:** ... dangit.

**Lunar:** and we're having a guest today!

**Sasuke:** Who?

**Lunar:** You forgot? It's fanofanime2006!

**FanofAnime2006:** -holding Kyuubi on a leash- HI!

**Kyuubi:** HELP ME NARUTO!

**Naruto:**... heck no.

**Kyuubi:** -glares at Naruto-

**FanofAnime2006:** BAD KYUUBI. be nice.

**Kyuubi:** -pouts-

**Lunar:** YAY

**Kyuubi:** I hate you.

**FanofAnime2006:** Be nice! She let us be guests!

**Kyuubi:**... i'm only stuck with you because she gave me to you!

**Lunar:** I know.

**Kyuubi:** -glaring at Lunar-

**FanofAnime2006: -**balancing a stack of all 7 harry potter books on her head-

**Kyuubi:** Where did you get those?

**FanofAnime2006:** What do you mean?

**Kyuubi:** YOU DIDN'T COME IN WITH THOSE.

**FanofAnime2006:**... oh yeah...

**Lunar:** YAY RANDOM APPEARANCE OF HEAVY BOOKS!!!

**Sasuke:** -sweatdrop-

**FanofAnime2006:** -gets the 7th book- COOL, I HAVEN'T FINISHED THIS YET. -starts reading it-

**Lunar:** weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

**Sasuke:**wtf.

**Kyuubi:**-tries to sneak away-

**FanofAnime2006:** -pulls him back with his leash-

**Kyuubi:** dangit, i forgot about that.

**FanofAnime2006:** Want some of Gaara's cookies? I found them when I was digging through his gourd for Kyuubi.

**Kyuubi:** Oo

**Gaara:** NOOOOOOOO MY COOKIES!!

**FanofAnime2006:** -zaps Gaara-

**Lunar:** YAY cookies! -takes a cookie- although you do know we'll have to bring gaara back sooner or later.

**FanofAnime2006:** Yeah, i know. Hey, Sasgay, want a cookie?

**Sasuke:** I'M NOT GAY! My therapist says so.

**FanofAnime2006:** But how does your therapist know?

**Sasuke:** I'M NOT GAY. I WOULD KNOW THAT.

**FanofAnime2006:** I asked how your therapist would know.

**Sasuke:** I was talking about my therapist?

**FanofAnime2006:**...um, soooooooo. Stalk Naruto lately?

**Sasuke:** I DON'T STALK NARUTO THAT MUCH!

**FanofAnime: **so you do stalk him?

**Sasuke:** NO!

**FanofAnime2006:** Then who do you stalk?

**Sasuke:** ne-, I DON'T STALK ANYONE.

**FanofAnime2006:** OMG, WERE YOU GONNA SAY NEJI?

**Sasuke:** NO.

**Lunar:** -comes back with gaara's gourd- I FOUND MORE COOKIES!

**FanofAnime2006:** YAY!

**Sasuke:**...

**Lunar:** OMG, I NEED TO DO THE DISCLAIMER SEGEMENT! FanofAnime2006, would you like to do the honors?

**FanofAnime2006:**Sure! KAKASHI!

**Kakashi:** What?

**Lunar:** disclaimer segment.

**Kakashi:** CUE THE DISCLAIMER SEGEMENT!

**Lunar:** I've always wondered why I don't just do that myself.

**Kakashi:** me too. me too.

-**DISCLAIMER SEGMENT**-

**Kyuubi:** Do you ever get bored?

**Naruto:** Yeah, but how did you get out of my head?

**Kyuubi:** JUST READ THE SCRIPT.

**Naruto:**-sigh-

**Kyuubi:** Do you ever want to beat everyone upside the head with a giant spiked baseball bat until everyone is dead?

**Lunar:** yes.

**Kyuubi:** When did you get here?

**Lunar:** I dunno. when did you get here? I gave you to FanofAnime2006

**Kyuubi:** yes, but she's here today.

**Lunar:** oh yeah!

**Kyuubi:** you've ruined my commercial.

**Lunar:** oh sorry. do go on.

**Kyuubi:** Do you like to set things on fire?

**Lunar:** yes.

**Kyuubi:** Do you like to electrocute people?

**Lunar:** yes.

**Kyuubi:** Then if you're Lunar, you need to be locked up in a nuthouse.

**Lunar:** hey.

**Kyuubi:** But if you're not, then you need to come to Kyuubi's rampage funland. The perfect place to rampage.

**Lunar:** Or they could just go to a new site made by The Rich Nobody.

**Kyuubi:** ...

**Lunar:** it's at www dot therichnobody dot proboards102 dot com.

**Kyuubi:** THIS WAS MY COMMERCIAL DANGIT.

**Lunar:** sorry kyuubi.

**Kyuubi:** Shut up lunar.

**Kakashi:** Lunar doesn't own Naruto. or therichnobody's site.

-**END DISCLAIMER SEGMENT**-

**FanofAnime2006:** THAT WAS AWESOME KYUUBI.

**Kyuubi:** I hate Lunar.

**FanofAnime: **-hits kyuubi with the 7th harry potter book, then starts reading it again-

**Kyuubi:** XX

**Lunar:** I'm bored.

**Sasuke:**...

**Lunar:** -revives Gaara- GAARA -pounces him-

**Gaara:** ...get. off.

**Lunar:** NEVER.

**Gaara:** Damnit.

**FanofAnime2006:** KYUUBI -hugs kyuubi-

**Kyuubi:** CURSE YOU LUNAR.

**Lunar: **wtf. what are you, some sort of corny old cartoon villan?

**Kyuubi:** I'm not corny or old, but I am technically a cartoon villan.

**Lunar:** No you're not. If you think about it you're barely mentioned in the anime or the manga. you're pretty much a minor character.

**Naruto:** It's true Kyuubi.

**Kyuubi:** DANGIT.

**Lunar:** heh heh heh.

**Kyuubi:** I hate you Lunar.

**FanofAnime2006:** BE NICE.

**Kyuubi:** ...meh.

**Lunar:**... I'm bored now.

**Kyuubi:** Sux for you.

**Sasuke:** Lunar. I have an idea.

**Lunar:** What?

**Sasuke:** START THE CHAPTER!

**Lunar:** Good idea.

**Sasuke:** -sweatdrops-

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sasuke sighed. He couldn't kill Itachi when Itachi was running around singing the themesong for Spongebob Squarepants. The atksutaki and moved from the dry cleaners to Sasuke's yard, where it was easier to watch them. Right now, Itachi was singing the themesong while Kisame, Sasori, and Deidara were dancing the hula. Naruto shook his head. "Was that how we were acting?" he said.

"Well, sorta. Sasuke was obsessed with my hair and chickens and you thought inanimate objects were your best friends." Sakura explained. Naruto shivered. "Well, as long as I wasn't doing that." He said, pointing to Kisame dancing. Sasuke nodded in agreement. Itachi started to chibi dance along with the rest of them. Sasuke sighed. "I can't believe that is my brother."

Itachi pounced Sasuke. "AWWWW IT'S MY CUTE LITTLE BROTHER!!!!!!!" The rest of the atksutaki joined Itachi in hugging Sasuke. Naruto and Sakura scooted away from the mass, which most likely contained one hecka angry Sasuke about to explode and attack all of the nutcases. Which he did. Sasuke started beating them all off of him with a giant baseball bat.

"Where did Sasuke-kun get a baseball bat?" Sakura asked. Naruto shrugged. " I have absolutely no idea." Naruto answered, watching Sasuke chase Itachi around, beating him down witht he baseball bat. Itachi ran up a tree, and Sasuke gave up chasing him to begin beating Kisame off of him. The shark-guy-thing shrieked and ran around singing 'Just Keep Swimming' for absolutely no reason. Sasori and Diedara gave up bugging Sasuke for a much safer past-time of picking flowers and braiding it into eachothers hair.

"...Wanna just leave Sasuke here with them?" Sakura asked Naruto. Naruto nodded and ran. Sakura chose to sneak into Sasuke's room to raid through his stuff. Sasuke paused and wondered where Sakura and Naruto went. That's when he saw Sakura through his bedroom window. He was about to tell her to get out, when Itachi tackled him.

" CAN I DO YOUR NAILS?" He said, examing Sasuke's hand. Sasuke pulled his hand back. "NO WAY IN HELL." He said, punching Itachi. Itachi began to run around crying, while Kisame glared at Sasuke. Sasuke just shook his head, wondering if he was allowed to ignore his brother, and his brother's retarded friends.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lunar:** hee hee hee.

**Kisame:** We're not retarded! you just drove us crazy!

**Lunar:** I know!

**Fanofanime2006:** ha ha Sasgay.

**Sasuke:**STOP CALLING ME THAT. MY THERAPIST SAYS IT'S BAD FOR MY SELF ESTEEM!!!!

**Lunar:** Sasuke, you can never have a low self esteem.

**Sasuke:** shut up.

**Lunar:** hee hee hee.

**FanofAnime2006:** I'm bored.

**Lunar:** me too.oh, i know! we'll try your mongoose no jutsu!

**FanofAnime2006: **YAY!

**Lunar:** OH SNAKE FREAK!!

**Orochimarou:** I'm not a snake freak!

**Lunar:** oh, but you responded. didn't you.

**Orochimarou:** shut up.

**FanofAnime2006:** Mongoose no Jutsu! -about a dozen mongoose appear-

**Orochimarou:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! KABUTO HELP ME! KABBBBBBBBUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Kabuto:** What?

**Orochimarou:**THERE ARE MONGOOSE!

**Kabuto:** -looks at the cute little mongoose that are small and cute and adorable.-...what do you want me to do?

**Orochimarou:** KILL THEM.

**Kabuto**:...-sigh-

**Lunar:** -laughing at Orochimarou-

**FanofAnime2006:** -also laughing at Orochimarou-

**Kabuto:** -gets out a hammer-

**Mongoose A:** -attacks Kabuto-

**Kabuto:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Lunar & FanofAnime2006: **-Laughing their heads off-

**Mongoose B:** -bites Orochimarou's foot-

**Orochimarou:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S TRYING TO EAT ME AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -running around in circles screaming trying to get the mongoose of his foot-

**Mongoose B:** -flies off of Orochimarou's foot and out the window where it lands face first in the middle of a super-busy street and gets ran over by a 23423423 long train of buses.-

**Mongoose C-L:**... -glare at Orochimarou-

**Orochimarou:** OO eep. oh shiznats.

**Mongoose C:** -jumps and attaches to Orochimarou's right arm-

**Mongoose D:** -jumps and attaches to Orochimarou's left arm-

**Mongoose E:** -attaches to Orochimarou's right leg-

**Mongoose F:** -attaches to Orochimarou's left leg-

**Mongoose G:** -Jumps on Orochimarou's head-

**Mongoose H:** -jumps on Orochimarou's back-

**Mongoose I:** -jumps on Orochimarou's face-

**Mongoose J-L: ** -just attach to whatever part of Orochimarou they can reach-

**Orochimarou:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-running around in circles screaming his head off while the mongoose just hold on and scare the living shiznats out of him-

**Lunar & FanofAnime2006:** -still laughing-

**Lunar:** I. can't. breathe.

**FanofAnime2006:** I can't breath either!

**Kabuto:** -still fighitng off Mongoose A- WHAT ARE THESE, MUTANT MONGOOSE?

**FanofAnime2006:** yes.

**Kabuto:** Where did you get Mutant Mongoose?

**FanofAnime2006:** Internet.

**Lunar:** That's where I got mine.

**Kabuto:** you have mutant mongoose?

**Lunar:** Yeah. -opens a door and lets out 2342342352345235234 mutant mongoose, that storm and attack orochimarou and kabuto like a giant wave of mongoose.

**Orochimarou and Kabuto:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Lunar:** -laughing her head off-

**FanofAnime2006:** -also laughing-

**Naruto:** how will you two tell your mongoose apart?

**Lunar:** well, all of mine had a collar with a moon on it, duh.

**Naruto:** oh.

**Sasuke:** -laughing- THAT'S WHAT YOU GET YOU WEIRDO!

**FanofAnime2006:** AHHHHHHHH SASGAY LAUGHED!!!

**Lunar:**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**FanofAnime2006 &Lunar: **-run away screaming-

**Lunar:** TO THE BOMB SHELTER

**FanofAnime2006 & Lunar:**- both run into the bomb shelter-

**Naruto & Kyuubi:** -run in there too-

**Lunar:** -closes the door-

**Sasuke:** --'''

-Ten Minutes Later

**Lunar:** -comes out- What happened to Orochimarou and Kabuto?

**Sasuke:** the mongoose chased them. I have no idea where they are.

**Lunar:** ohhhhh... okay. well, the chapter is almost over.

**FanofAnime2006:** awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

**Lunar:** I know! -sniffels- but you'll have to visit again!

**FanofAnime2006:** YAY

**Lunar:** you too kyuubi!

**Kyuubi:** next time i see you, i will kill you.

**FanofAnime2006:** behave kyuubi.

**Kyuubi:** -gets an electric shock-XX

**Lunar:** I forgot about the taser collar.

**FanofAnime2006: **So did I!

**Sasuke:** --''''

**Lunar:** QUESTION TIME! the first questions are from D Kyuubi, who is AWESOME. I love their stories.okay, first question is for Sasuke.

Are you a Uke or a Seme?

**Sasuke:** I'M NOT GAY DANGIT. but if I were, i'd so be seme.

**Naruto:** yeah right, sasUKE.

**Sasuke:** SHUT UP NARUTO.

**Naruto:** hmph.

**Lunar:** hee hee. Next question is for Kyuubi.

Have you ever been to Vegas for a vacation off your rampages?

**Kyuubi:** I don't go on vacation, but I do go to vagas and rampage there. It's fun.

**Lunar:** okies, next questions are from Ninja-Freak13. First is for Itachi. -Itachi's sharingan is turned off-

How many fingers am I holding up?

**Itachi:** um, 48,892,953?

**Lunar:** --''''' um, no.

**Itachi:** 49,892,953?

**Sasuke:** HUMANS DON'T EVEN HAVE THAT MANY FINGERS.

**Itachi**...oh. um, 9?

**Lunar:**... okay, well, you're a little warmer.

**Itachi:** 957?

**Sasuke:**... HUMANS DON'T HAVE MORE THAN 10 TO 12 [in special cases FINGERS!!!

**Itachi:** oh. okay then, um, 9.

**Lunar:** no. you already said that.

**Itachi:** um, 10?

**Lunar:** no. lower.

**Itachi:** -5?

**Sasuke:**... if it was negative 5, he wouldn't be holding them up.

**Itachi:** ... oh. 7?

**Lunar:** Should I just tell him?

**Sasuke:** yes.

**Lunar:** They're holding up 3 fingers Itachi.

**Itachi:** ... oh. okay, um, the answer is 3!

**Lunar:** -sweatdrop-

**Sasuke:** -shakes his head slowly-

**Lunar:** next is for Deidara

YOUR KOOL!!!!

**Deidara: **THANX. I know.

**Itachi:** -punches Deidara- I'M COOLER THAN YOU.

**Deidara: **XX

**Lunar:** next is for Sasuke.

youre c.o.o.l. Constipated, overdressed, over-weighed, loser.

**Sasuke:** -sniffels- YOU AREN'T HELPING WITH MY SELF ESTEEM ISSUES! I'M TELLING MY THERAPIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -runs off to therapy-

**Lunar:** -sweatdrops- okie dokies, Ninja Freak asked they can be in my fic, and in Chapter 21, they will the guest. I've decided to have guests everyother chapter, SO YAY!!!!!!!!! Okay, Ninja-Freak13, I need you to either review or send me a pm with a short paragraph about your personality, and a list of 10 to 15 random things you'd like to say to the characters, or if you just want to say them.

If you want to be in my fic, and if I missed one of your reviews that said so, SORRY! and tell me.


	20. OMG THE 20TH ANNIVERSARY

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter 20

_20 Chapter Anniversary_

**Lunar:** Ah, the start of the school year.

**Naruto:** We've been here for 20 chapters.

**Lunar:** Oh yeah. That too. Funny, I didn't even think we'd make it to the 20th chapter. THANK YOU REVIEWERS FOR ENCOURAGING ME THIS FAR!!!!

**Sasuke:** CURSE YOU REVIEWERS FOR ENCOURAGING HER THIS FAR!!!!

**Lunar:** SASUKE! BE NICE TO THE REVIEWERS! or else.

**Sasuke:** OO okay.

**Lunar:**

**Naruto:** sooooooo. what now.

**Sasuke:** Can we leave now?

**Lunar:** no.

**Naruto:** awwwww.

**Sasuke:** damnit.

**Lunar:** Now, I wanna get to 50 chapters!

**Naruto:**...

**Lunar:** Guess what!

**Naruto:** What?

**Lunar:** I'm in chemistry class!

**Sasuke:** Someone's going to let you within 15 miles of chemicals and fire?

**Lunar:** yep!

**Sasuke:**...WHO THE HELL WOULD BE SO STUPID TO DO THAT?

**Lunar:** I dunno.

**Sasuke:** -glares-

**Lunar:** -chuckles-

**Naruto:** Should I call the fire department before hand?

**Itachi:** yes.

**Lunar:** Nooo. I'm not going to blow up the chem lab, as tempting as it may be.

**Naruto:** Then what are you planning?

**Lunar:** I'm not telling you, but trust me, it'll be fun.

**Naruto:** I'm scared.

**Ten Ten:** Me too. -attaches to neji-

**Naruto:** Oo when did Ten Ten get here?

**Ten Ten:** I've been here since Neji got here.

**Lunar:** You have? wow.

**Ten Ten:** TT

**Lunar:** anyway... Ninja Nonsense is 20 chapters long!!!!!YAY!!!!

**Naruto:** Can we have a party?

**Lunar:** Not until the 50th chapter.

**Naruto:** awwwwwwww.

**Lunar:** I got a postcard from kyuubi.

**Naruto:** really? what does it say?

**Lunar:** It said, "Dear Lunar, I hate you, and I'm going to kill you. Love, Kyuubi no Kitsune."

**Naruto:**...well, at least he said love.

**Sasuke:** Right after he threatened to kill her.

**Lunar:** It's okay. I've gotten threatened before.

**Naruto: **...

**Lunar:** well, at least he isn't running around trying to find the key to my ceiling.

**Sasuke:** Two things, one, he can't, he's trapped. and two, Why did you put it there?

**Lunar:** Actually, I gave it to BlueEyedFun to hide. She's the one who picked the hiding spot.

**Sasuke:** ohh. creepy.

**Naruto:** How many times will we return to that topic?

**Lunar:** I dunno.

**Sasuke:** I hate that topic.

**Lunar:** ha ha.

**Sasuke:** Shut up.

**Lunar:** I'm so happy. people have put me in their favorite authore list. -grins- THANKIES EVERYONE! I LUV U SOOO MUCH!!

**Sasuke:** people actually  LIKE you?

**Lunar:** -sticks tounge out at Sasuke- meanie.

**Gaara:** All my cookies are gone. -sniffles-

**Lunar:** poor Gaara. -gives Gaara cookies-

**Gaara:** YAY

**Naruto:** How do you keep sand off the cookies in your gourd?

**Gaara:** You'll never know.

**Lunar:** oh, I know!

**Gaara:** QUIET!!!! -tackles lunar-

**Lunar:** AHHH!!!! OW.

**Naruto:** Oo

**Sasuke:** Oo

**Neji:** Oo -leaves dragging TenTen-

**Naruto:** Hey, how come Neji got to leave?

**Lunar:** I dunno. I think it's cause some other authoress wants to bother them.

**Naruto:**...ok.

**Gaara:** -sitting on Lunar-

**Lunar:** Can I tell them how you keep sand off your cookies now?

**Gaara:** NEVER!!!!

**Lunar:** ummm. ok. where's Kakashi? i think i'll do the disclaimer now.

**Naruto:** I dunno. we can't find him.

**Sasuke:** I know where he is.

**Naruto:** Where?

**Sasuke:** getting his butt kicked by one of Lunar's O.C.'s.

**Lunar:** poor Kakashi. Hey Gaara. you do it.

**Gaara:** -glares at A.V. guys- start the disclaimer segment. now.

**Lunar:**... you freaked out my a.v. guys Gaara.

**A.B. Guys:** i-i-it's okay, w-w-we're starting it!

-**Disclaimer Segment**-

**Tsunade:** Are you bored?

**Shikamarou:** I always am.

**Tsunade:** Are you intelligent?

**Shikamarou:** That's a rude question.

**Tsunade:** How so?

**Shikamarou:** How would you respond if someone came up to you and asked, "hey, are you smart?"

**Tsunade:** I would punch them.

**Shikamarou:** There you go.

**Tsunade:** ...fine.

**Shikamarou:** -smug-

**Tsunade:** Do you like brain teasers?

**Shikamarou:** yeah.

**Tsunade: **Do you like staring at a screen for hours on end?

**Shikamarou:** no.

**Tsunade:** ... then do you like pressing a button or pulling on a lever while staring at a screen for hours on end?

**Shikamarou:** no.

**Tsunade:** --

**Shikamarou:** Can I leave?

**Tsunade:** Yeah, you ruined by gambling hall commercial.

**Shikamarou:** You were advertising a gambling hall?!!

**Kakashi:** I thought she was advertising video games.

**Tsunade:** Yeah, I was advertising a gambling hall. and?

**Shikamarou:** You were scolding Jairaya for advertising his books, when gambling is just as bad.

**Tsunade:** What are you, my conscious? go away.

**Shikamarou:** Whatever, this is lame. -leaves-

**Kakashi:** Lunar doesn't own Naruto.

-**End Disclaimer Segment**-

**Luanr:** -singing the vegetales theme song-

**Sasuke:** Where did that come from?

**Lunar:** I dunno.

**Gaara:**-still sitting on lunar-...

**Naruto:** so... How do you keep getting Shikamarou to volunteer to do the disclaimer segment?

**Lunar:** blackmail.

**Sasuke:** was it neccessary to be so blunt?

**Lunar:** yes.

**Sasuke:**...

**Lunar:** Did I ever tell you how Gaara keeps sand off of his cookies in his Gourd? he-

**Gaara:** -knocks Lunar out-

**Lunar:** owwww.

**Naruto:** OO

**Sasuke:** Quick, while she's out. we must escape!

**Naruto:** -tires to open the front door- It's locked.

**Sasuke:** Try the window!

**Gaara:** It's locked.

**Naruto:** This door is open! Quick, run!-runs out the door-

**Sasuke &Gaara:** -follow-

**Naruto, Sasuke & Gaara:** -end up back in the same room-

**Sasuke:** ... Damn authoress

**Naruto:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.-cries-

**Lunar:** -awake and singing just keep swimming-

**Gaara:** Lunar?

**Lunar:** Yes?

**Gaara:** I hate you.

**Lunar:** I know. I know.

**Naruto:** -still sniffling- What now?

**Lunar:** I start the chapter.

**Sasuke:** Finally.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sasuke grumbled darkly as he watched the Akatsuki. He finally realized that his team had ditched him while he was beating Kakashi to a ripe bloody pulp.

"BUBBLEGUM!!!!!" A loud shout woke Sasuke out of his grumble-fest. Itachi had somehow gotten ahold of a package of bubblegum. Sasuke ducked behind a rock while Itachi fought with the bubblegum package.

"Stupid paper! Relinquish your sweet prize! Take this! Great fireball jutsu!" Itachi created a massive ball of fire and it hurled into the package of gum, burning it into ashes. He ran over to it and tried to get the gum.

"NOOOOOOO!!! I KILLED THE GUM!!!" He cried, runningaround in seemlingly endless circles. Sasuke just watched from behind his rock.

-**In Tsunade's Office**-

"We can't have the akatsuki running around acting like a bunch of mentally disturbed five year olds." Tsuande said, "althought it is funny." She admitted. At that moment, Sasori jumped through the window.

"OMG, NEON ORANGE IS SOOOO THE NEW PINK!!!" he screeched, and then left. Naruto pointed at Sakura triumphantly.

"HA!!!" he grinned. Sakura pouted.

"...um, yeah, case in point. We need to fix this." Tsunade said.

"But how? The only way I could think of would be to ask the authoress, and this was all caused the last time we asked for her help." Sakura pointed out.

"Exactly. But we all noticed that the authoress is kinda sadistic, and well, off her rocker. Which can mean only one thing." Tsunade said.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"That she's a yami, which means she must have a hikari." Tsunade said confidently.

"But, um, what if she's just crazy? or, if shes some sort of-" Naruto stopped talking when Tsunade glared at him.

"Well, we need to go find the authoress mansion, and see if the hikari is there." Tsunade said. The others nodded, and they all ran out the door.

-**Sasuke's House**-

Kisame was dancing the hula while Diedera entertained himself by blowing up Sasuke's collection of various porcelin figures. Sasuke had tied Itachi to a wooden pole and he was building a bonfire around the pole so that he could burn Itachi had stake. Itachi was singing ' The Water Buffalo Song.' which was a vegetales song. Sakura ran by, grabbed Sasuke before he could set Itachi on fire, and she left Neji to idiot-sit the akatsuki.

-**The Authoress Mansion**-

Team 7 and Tsunade crept into the courtyard to the Authoress' mansion. They opened the front door, and saw a dark violet haired O.C. sat at a desk. She looked up and smiled.

"Hello. welcome to the great authoress' mansion. I'm the O.C. secretary. How may I help you?" She asked.

"um, we're looking for the, um, does the authoress have a hikari?" Naruto asked.

"yes. The Great Authoress' hikari is Da Angel of Da Authoresses. Shes currently in the authoress studio. Second floor, first door to the right is the portal room. Just press the studio button." the O.C. pointed at the stairs and then she returned to whatever it was that she was doing.

The group ran up the stairs and entered the room to the right. It was a plain room, with two doors, the one they entered, and another one. The wall next to the other door had a bunch of buttons lining the wall.

"Ahhhh, I can't read english!" Naruto said, referring to the fact that all the buttons were labeled in english.

"... Neither can I..." Tsunade admitted. " But we're just going to have to guess." Naruto nodded and pressed a button. The door opened, and they walked through it. The door shut behind them and dissappeared. They ended up in a large castle, with several books, and a window over looking a huge town. A small black rodent like creature with huge yellow eyes looked at them, twitched it's annetane, and then dissappeared.

"... I think we got the wrong door." Kakashi finally said.

-**Sasuke's House**-

"What. the. hell." Neji said. Itachi had gotten out and he was running around screaming 'GIVE ME A SAMMICH!!!!" [[lunar does not own Gir from invador zim, wether or not that is actually what he says. Sasori was trying to get Neji to wear a bright neon green with pink stripes sweater, saying 'Green is the new cream!' Deidera was putting bombs all over the place and blowing them up. Kisame was convinced that he was the king of acorns, and he was busy trying to order his kingdom to attack an evil walnut army.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lunar:** MHUA HA HA HA HA

**Naruto:** What the hell!

**Lunar:** I had to add some nonsense.

**Sasuke:** YOU'VE PUT ENOUGH NONSENSE IN THIS DAMNED STORY.

**Lunar:** says you.

**Sasuke:** okay, question, HOW COME SO MANY PEOPLE THINK I'M GAY???!!!!!

**Lunar:** Cause you are?

**Sasuke:** NO I'M NOT!!!! Just because uke means gay submissive gay, DOESN'T MEAN I'M GAY!!!!

**Lunar:** Sakura or Naruto?

**Sasuke:** Na-wait. HEY!!!!

**Lunar:** HA!

**Sasuke:** I'M STRAIGHT!!!!

**Lunar:** as a curly string.

**Sasuke:** ...shut up.

**Lunar:** heh heh heh.

**Naruto:** You'd chose me over Sakura?

**Lunar:** SQUEE -fangirl faints-

**Sasuke:** Quick, to the portal room!

**Naruto:** We can't.

**Sasuke:** Why not?

**Naruto:** that's the locked door.

**Sasuke:**...DAMN LUNAR.

**Lunar: **What?

**Sasuke:**--'''

**Lunar: **OMG. Guess what?!

**Naruto:** what?

**Lunar:** Next chappie we're gonna have a guest! YAY!!!

**Sasuke:** oh joy -sarcasm-

**Lunar:** HEY!!! Be nice to our awesome guests!

**Naruto:** Who is it this time?

**Lunar:** Ninja-Freak13!!! YAY!!!

**Sasuke:**...

**Lunar:** QUESTION TIME!!!!!

**Sasuke:** double joy. -more sarcasm-

**Lunar:** The first question is from Kakashi from Watcher343

Have you ever been busted for jutsu copyright infringment laws?

**Kakashi:** -sweatdrops- yes. several times.

**Lunar:** ha ha Kakashi.

**Kakashi:**...

**Lunar:** omg, there's a question for me!

**sasuke:** There is?

**Lunar:** Yeah! It's from Zusai Zeshal.

Lunar, what did you put in their drinks?

**Naruto:** What did you put in our drinks?

**Lunar:** eh hem, heh, um, hee hee.-hides a vial-

**Naruto:**OO

**Lunar:** hee hee hee. I just put a little obedience potion in there...

**Naruto:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.-running around screaming-

**Sasuke:** Seriously?!

**Lunar:** nah. It's just food coloring.

**Sasuke:**...

**Naruto:** -didn't hear Lunar and is still screaming and running-

**Sasuke:** NARUTO. SHE JUST PUT FOOD COLORING.

**Naruto:** oh... okay.

**Sasuke:** -sweatdropps.-

**Lunar:** welllllllllpers. THIS CHAPPIE IS OVAH. Next chapter is them trying to find their way to my authoress portal in Kingdom Hearts.

**Sasuke:** stupid Lunar.

**Lunar:** REVIEW! WITH QUESTIONS! AND REMEMBER, NINJA-FREAK13, SEND IN THE PARAGRAPH ABOUT YOU WITH TEN RANDOM COMMENTS. because I lost the other one...eh hem, how embarrasing...


	21. NinjaFreak13 visits

**Ninja Nonsense**

Chapter 21

_Ninja-Freak13 comes to visit_

**Lunar:** YAY OMG OMG OMG I'M SOOO EXCITED!!!!!!

**Sasuke:** Why?

**Lunar:** TODAY'S AN ODD CHAPTER DAY!

**Sasuke:** and?

**Lunar:** THAT MEANS WE'RE HAVING A GUEST! and this chapter's guest is Ninja-Freak 13!!! Isn't that awesome!

**Sasuke:** no.

**Lunar:** YOU BEHAVE THIS TIME, GOT ME?

**Sasuke:** what if I don't?

**Lunar:** I've got blackmail of the time you and Lee got drunk.

**Sasuke:** I can't wait until Ninja-Freak13 gets here.

**Lunar:** good boy.

**Naruto:** Hey, what's going on?

**Lunar:** We're gonna have a visitor.

**Naruto:**ok.

**Itachi:** Why are you in a fox suit?

**Lunar:** Who?

**Itachi:** Naruto. You just have the ears and tail.

**Lunar:** -twitches tail- almost forgot 'bout that

**Itachi:** --

**Naruto:** I'm not in a fox suit. I always wear this orange jumpsuit and Lunar wanted to make me fox-boy

**Itachi:** oh. someone's knocking on the door.

**Naruto:** I'll get it.

**Ninja-Freak13:** Kawaii!!!! So cute! -glomps Naruto-

**Lunar:** SQUEEE WELCOME!

**Ninja-Freak13:** OMG IT'S ITACHI!

**Itachi:** OMG IT'S...wait. who the hell is that? whenever people I don't know scream my name, it usually means that they're a fangirl.

**Sasuke: **ha ha Itachi.

**Itachi:** shut up Sasuke.

**Naruto:** um...You're chocking me.

**Ninja-Freak13:** oops. Sorry.

**Gaara:** who's the new freak?

**Lunar:** Gaara!!!

**Gaara:** What? That's her name.

**Lunar:** oh yeah.

**Gaara:**...

**Lunar:** Anywayz, so, welcome to Ninja Nonsense.

**Ninja-Freak13:** Thanks for letting me on.

**Sasuke:** Lunar isn't that picky.

**Lunar:** HEY!!! I am VERY picky.

**Sasuke:** Not true.

**Lunar:** Shut up Sasuke. or else, blackmail.

**Sasuke:** OO you're so pretty Lunar.

**Lunar:**

**Itachi:** -leans on Sasuke all cool like- Don't worry lil' bro. As soon as her focus switches to someone else, she'll forget all about her blackmail.

**Sasuke:** Like who?

**Itachi:** well, Naruto DOES have fox ears.

**Sasuke: **HEY LUNAR, LOOK, NARUTO WENT FOX-MODE!!!

**Lunar:** OMG SQUEE.

**Ninja-Freak13:** OMG HE'S SO KAWAII!!!!

**Itachi: **See? Authoresses are very easy to distract.

**Sasuke:** Thanks.

**Ninja-Freak13:** -pounces Itachi- awwww, are you two having a 'brotherly bonding' moment?

**Itachi:** and what do you mean by that?

**Ninja-Freak13:** wink, wink.

**Itachi:**...-aiming several punches and kicks at Ninja-Freak13.-

**Ninja-Freak13:** -jumps off of him and dodges every hit- ha ha ha. Hey Lunar, Uchiacest!

**Lunar:** OMG.

**Sasuke:** SHUT UP!!!! -starts charging the chidori-

**Lunar:** -pounces Sasuke to the ground and then shoves him and Itachi into gaara's gourd and then seals it-

**Sasuke:-**sounds muffled- ...oh come on...

**Ninja-Freak13:** lol.

**Gaara:**...-pouts- my gourd.

**Lunar:** awwww. Gaara needs some lub.

**Ninja-Freak13:**-hugs Gaara-

**Gaara:**

**Naruto:**... How does Gaara do it?

**Kakashi:** well, he acts pathetic, which makes him cute, which makes girls hug him.

**Naruto:**-pouts-but I'm cute and pathetic too.

**Lunar:** AWWWWW. -hugs Naruto-

**Naruto:**

**Ninja-Freak13:** Wanna trade?

**Lunar:** Sure!

**Ninja-Freak13:**-hugs Naruto-

**Lunar:**-hugs Gaara-

**Kakashi:** Now I feel left out... oh well. -does the super-fast drink thing with hot chocolate- owww.

**Ninja-Freak13:** What are you doing?

**Kakashi:**drinking

**Ninja-Freak13:** I wanna see.

**Kakashi:** See what?

**Ninja-Freak13: **your face.

**Kakashi:** no.

**Ninja-Freak13:** -pulls of Kakashi's mask-

**Kakashi:** -there's another mask beneathe it-

**Ninja-Freak13:**...

**Kakashi:**

**Lunar:** -spiking Hinata's hair-

**Naruto:** wtf when did Hinata get here?

**Hinata:** um, um, r-right now, I-I asked Lunar-c-chan to do my h-hair for a concert I'm g-going to.

**Naruto:** That's kinda cool.

**Lunar:** I'm gonna use pink on the tips, kay?

**Hinata:** k-kay.

**Lunar:** -using a can of hair-color spray- kay. you're done.

**Hinata: **-gets up- H-how does it look?

**Naruto:** great!

**Ninja-Freak13:** -pushes Naruto into Hinata-

**Lunar:** OMG SQUEE IT'S SO CUTE!

**Neji: **WHY DID YOU DO THAT? OMG NARUTO'S KISSING HINATA! GET YOUR FILTHY LIPS OFF MAH COUSIN!

**Naruto:** O///////O Sorry Hinata!

**Hinata:** O//////////////////////////O...um. um. um. It's ok.

**Lunar:** XD It's time for the disclaimer segment. Ninja-Freak13, why don't you do the honors?

**Ninja-Freak13:** cool. KAKASHI.

**Kakashi:** dude. I'm right here.

**Lunar:** Disclaimer Segment.

**Kakashi:** I know. I'm right here. I've been right here since the beginning of the chapter.

**Lunar:** oh.

**Kakashi:** ROLL THE DISCLAIMER SEGMENT!!!!!

-**DISCLAIMER SEGMENT**-

**Lunar:** Are you ah authoress?

**Angel:** yep.

**Ninja-Freak13:**yep.

**FanofAnime2006:**yep.

**Lunar:** Are you an author?

**Kingman 186: **yep.

**Lunar:** Then you need to join Authoress' Paradise! It's a multi-topic site where the power of the authoress is the ultimate power!

The main 'world' is Masanori City, the home of the authoresses. Also the Authors, but, yeah. Anyway, Masanori City has everything from Authoress' Studios, to the Portal Hub, to the World Wide Fangirl Headquarters! But, there are some people who don't like the authoresses. Most Author's join what's called the Rebel Guild in Koboku city, which has it's only Portal Hub. However, that's not the main thing. What is the main thing is the anime and manga worlds. Wanna hang with Naruto? Use the portal system to go to Naruto's world, and hang out there. Wanna go see Ichigo and the other's in Bleach? Go ahead. Authoress Paradise shows what goes behind the scenes of fanfics, from doing backstory work, to just general fangirly-ness. If you want to go to this wonderful home of the writers, pm me and i'll send you the link!!!!!

**Kingman 186: **so... do I get any other lines?

**Lunar:** not 'till chapter 23.

**Kingman 186:**...oh. kay. -leaves-

**Kakashi:** Lunar doesn't own Naruto, or Bleach, but she does own Authoress Paradise, pm her if you want to join.

-**End Disclaimer Segment**-

**Lunar:** Remember, pm me!

**Naruto:** Where'd Ninja-Freak13 go?

**Lunar:** I dunno.

**Ninja-Freak13: -**the akatsuki capsures me, trys to torture me, and I torture them. ita:jumps around him like a crazy person, then hits him with hamer. zetsu: into's him to weed killer. kisame:chases him with fire and pointy things. comes back grinning-

**Lunar:** welcome back. Wanna hit the pedofilic snake next?

**Ninja-Freak13:** sure

**Lunar:** I have another post card from Kyuubi.

**Ninja-Freak13:** Kyuubi-nii-san is cool.

**Lunar:** yep. he is.

**Naruto:** Read the post card.

**Lunar:** kay.

_Dear Lunar._

_Once again, just called to say I hate you completely, and that I want you to die and suffer a thousand eternities of hell because you are the most annoying and aggrivating beesnatch that ever was. Can't wait to tear you limb from limb and then singe you to ashes. _

_Love,_

_Kyuubi no Kitsune_

**Sasuke:** Is it just me, or are those post cards getting more and more violent?

**Lunar:** They are. Let's start the chapter.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sasuke sighed. "Where the hell are we?" He looked around at the huge Library. Naruto shrugged at looked out the window. Sakura was examining the books, while Tsunade and Kakashi were looking for doors.

"I'm not exactly sure. Although, judging the authoresses likes and dislikes, we're either in Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Inuyasha or something." Tsunade said.

"I think it's Kingdom hearts" Sakura said, holding up a book that said _'Trails and Tribulations of the heart.'_ "So, now we know where we are. I guess all we have to do now is find the authoress portal again, right?" She said, putting the book on the shelf. at that moment, the entire library shifted. Tsunade and Kakashi sighed as massive bookshelves blocked the previous paths to the doors. A burnette guy with a duck and a dog walked in. "Hey, what are you doing in castle library?"

-**Somewhere in the Naruto world with the akatsuki**-

Neji grumbled darkly and continued his ever-growing and ever-descriptive list of curses to say about Naruto, Sasuke and the others. Itachi pounced him."OMG OMG OMG YOU HAVE SUCH LONG PRETTY HAIR CAN I BRAID IT?" He squealed. Neji twitched and then hit him off. Kisame then began to waltz around with Dieidara while they both sang the annoying song. Neji took out a giant mallet and began to chase Sasori around, who hadn't been doing anything besides playing with wooden blocks.

**-Back with Team 7 and Tsunade**-

"huh?" Naruto said and looked at them with a wtf look.Sakura shook her head. "We don't know. We're looking for someone. My name's Sakura, this is Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi, and Tsunade. What are your names?"

"I'm Sora, and this is Donald, and Goofy." Sora said. His hair suddenly turned pink and Donald turned into a cat. Sora sighed.

"I take it you're having issues with the authoress, Lunar X. Shinobi, right?" he asked. Sakura nodded. Goofy suddenly grinned. "I LIKE COOKIES!" He squealed, and then jumped out the window and landed on Cloud.

"...um. We need to find Lunar's Hikari angel." Sakura said. Sora nodded. "Angel's kinda cool. She's in the studio, I think. I'll take you to the authoress portal." He said, starting to walk out another door that appeared after the walls moved. Team 7 followed him.

-**With Neji and the Akatsuki**-

Sasori suddenly found himself as a giant mushroom. Neji stared and shook his head. The authoress was going a bit... bizarre. Itachi ran screaming "I want to go shopping in Milan!" He said, disappearing before Neji could catch him. Deidara fell asleep under a random table and Kisame was fishing while singing something about 'you are what you eat'.

-**Team 7 & Sora**-

Sora paused before a huge metal vault. "This is the authoress' portal. I think Lunar's private one is connected. But the only way to get in is by Lunar's password." Sakura sighed. "Then we'll never even get home."

Sora sweatdropped. "Actually, her passwords are simple." He typed something in and the vault rolled open. Sasuke looked at him. "So, what was the password?" Sora sighed. "Soriku. Don't ask. please. don't." He said, and then he left. Naruto looked at tsunade. She patted his head. "not until you're older." She said. And then they all walked in.

**-The Authoresses Studio-**

A blond girl wearing a white bow and a white dress with yellow stripes around the edges, like the sleeves, the bottom, the waist, and the neckline. The was typing on a computer. A halo floated above her head and two small white wings were attached to her back. Tsunade walked until she was five feet from the girl. "Angel?" The girl turned and surveyed them with large blue eyes. "Yes?"

-**With Neji**-

Neji sighed. He couldn't fine Itachi, Sasori had been turned from a mushroom to a catapult, and Kisame and Diedara were taking turns catapulting eachother. Neji really wanted this all to get fixed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lunar:** Heh heh heh.

**Neji:** I hate you so much.

**Lunar:**-grins-

**Ninja-Freak13:** I thought you left last chapter.

**Neji:** I came back.

**Sasuke:** You're still here?

**Lunar: **Who's still here?

**Sasuke:** Ninja-Freak13.

**Ninja-Freak13:** That's so mean, Duck-butt-hair-cutt.

**Sasuke:** WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE SAY THAT?

**Ninja-Freak13: **Cause it's true.

**Sasuke:** How would you like me calling you freaky mew mew person?

**Ninja-Freak13:** whatever, Chickenbutt!

**Sasuke:** SHUT UP!!!! -runs away-

**Lunar:** --

**Ninja-Freak13:** ha ha ha. Well, I gotta go Lunar.

**Lunar:** So soon?...man. ok. Bye!!!!!!

**Gaara:** Bye.

**Naruto:** Byeee!!!!

**Ninja-Freak13:** Bye!-leaves-

**Lunar:** well, we have one question, and it's for Gaara.

**Gaara:** What is it?

**Lunar:** Lone Konouchi asks how you keep sand off your cookies.

**Gaara:**...CURSE YOU LUNAR.

**Lunar:** -grins-

**Gaara:** okay, well, That depends. Sometimes, I use my powers over sand to just keep it off. And other times, um, well, it's not sand. It's cookie crumbs. Like when I fought lee, it was cookie-crumbs, not sand.

**Lunar:** : I knew that!

**Gaara:** Shut up.

**Lunar:** Well, this chapter was long enough. see everyone later.

Oh yeah, Here's a line up for the next guest chapters.

Chapter 23-Kingman 186

Chapter 25-Profist of Doom

Chapter 27-neokid 93


	22. Hairtie Issues

**Ninja Nonsense**

Chapter 22

_Hairtie Issues_

**Lunar:** HI EVERYONE!!!!

**Sasuke: **...

**Lunar:** I'm bored.

**Itachi:** Sucks for you.

**Lunar:** You're all so mean and hurtful.

**Naruto:** Why are you glittery. and rainbowy.

**Lunar:** Cause. I'm in the school play.

**Itachi:** as what?

**Lunar:** The Queen of the Fairies.

**Itachi:**...of course you'd end up as the queen of the fairies

**Lunar:** I'm confused. Was that a compliment or an insult?

**Itachi:** both.

**Lunar:**...oh.

**Sasuke:** There's nothing I can add to this converstaion.

**Itachi:**You just added something.

**Sasuke:** Shut up Itachi.

**Itachi:** no you.

**Sasuke:** -tackles Itachi out of the room-

**Lunar:**...okkkkay

**Angel:** Hi Lunar.

**Lunar:** Hi Angel.

**Tsunade:** -storms in- Lunar, where is my hairtie?

**Lunar:** What?

**Tsunade:** -points to the hair on her right side, which isn't tied up- MY HAIRTIE IS MISSING. and Shizune said you took it.

**Lunar:** I _borrowed_ it.

**Tsunade:** Well, return it.

**Lunar:** I can't.

**Tsunade:** Why not?

**Lunar:** Because Shikamarou stole mine.

**Tsunade:**...SHIKAMAROU.

**Shikamarou:** What?

**Tsunade:** Give Lunar back her hairtie so she can give me back my hairtie.

**Shikamarou:** I can't.

**Tsunade:** Why not?

**Shikamarou:** Ino stole mine.

**Tsunade:**... INO.

**Ino:** What?

**Tsunade:** Give Shikamarou back his hairtie so he can give Lunar back her hairtie so she can give me back my hairtie.

**Ino:** I can't.

**Tsunade:** Why not?

**Ino:** Neji stole mine.

**Tsunade:**... NEJI.

**Neji:** what?

**Tsunade:** Give Ino back her hairtie so she can give Shikamarou back his hairtie so he can give Lunar back her hairtie so she can give me back my hairtie.

**Neji:** I can't.

**Tsunade:** ...Why not?

**Neji:** Tenten stole mine.

**Tsunade:**...TENTEN

**Tenten:** What?

**Tsunade:** Give Neji back his hairtie so he can give Ino back her hairtie so she can give Shikamarou back his hairite so he can give Lunar back her hairtie so she can give me back my hairtie.

**Tenten:** I can't.

**Tsunade:**...Why not?

**Tenten:** Jairaya stole mine.

**Tsunade:**...JAIRAYA.

**Jairaya:** What?

**Tsunade:** Give Tenten back her hairtie so she can give Neji back his hairtie so he can give Ino back her hairtie so she can give Shikamarou back his hairtie so he can give Lunar back her hairtie so she can give me back my hairite.

**Jairaya:** I can't.

**Tsunade:**...Why not.

**Jairaya:** Cause Kabuto stole mine.

**Tsunade:** ...KABUTO.

**Kabuto:** What?

**Tsunade:** Give Jairaya back his hairtie so he can give Tenten back her hairtie so she can give Neji back his hairite so he can give Ino back her hairite so she can give Shikamarou back his hairtie so he can give Lunar back her hairtie so she can give me back my hairite.

**Kabuto:** I can't, Orochimarou has mine.

**Tsunade:** YOU STUPID ASS SNAKE GET YOUR ASS IN HERE NOW.

**Orochimarou:** What?

**Tsunade:** Give Kabuto back his hairite so he can give Jairaya back his hairtie so he can give Tenten back her hairtie so she can give Neji back his hairite so he can give Ino back her hairite so she can give Shikamarou back his hairtie so he can give Lunar back her hairtie so she can give me back my hairite.

**Orochimarou:** I can't, Deidara stole mine.

**Tsunade:** DIEDARA

**Diedara:** what?

**Tsunade:** Give Orochimarou back his hairtie so he can give Kabuto back his hairtie so he can gvie Jairaya back his hairtie so he can give Tenten back her hairtie so she can give Neji back his hairtie so he can give Ino back her hairtie so she can give Shikamarou back his hairtie so he can give Lunar back her hairtie so she can give me back my hairtie.

**Diedara:** I can't. Idate has mine.

**Tsunade:**..IDATE.

**Idate:** what?

**Tsunade:** Give Diedara back his hairtie so he can give orochiamarou back his hairtie so he can give Kabuto back his hairite so he can give Jairaya back his hairtie so he can give Tenten back her hairtie so she can give Neji back his hairtie so he can give Ino back her hairtie so she can give Shikamarou back his hairtie so he can give Lunar back her hairtie so she can return mine.

**Idate:** I can't. Temari took mine.

**Tsunade:** TEMARI

**Temari:** what?

**Tsunade:** Give Idate back his hairtie so he can give Diedara back his hairtie so he can give Orochimarou back his hairtie so he can give Kabuto back his hairtie so he can give Jairaya back his hairtie so he can give Tenten back her hairtie so she can give Neji back his hairtie so he can give Ino back her hairite so she can give Shikamarou back his hairtie so he can give Lunar back her hairtie so she can return mine.

**Temari:** oh, I can't. Haku borrowed mine a while ago.

**Tsunade:** BUT HAKU'S DEAD.

**Temari:** I know. creepy.

**Tsunade:** HAKU.

**Haku: **what?

**Tsunade: **GIVE TEMARI BACK HER FREAKIN HAIRTIE.

**Haku:** Oh, I don't get the whole paragraph?

**Tsunade:** JUST RETURN THE DAMNED THING.

**Haku:** I can't. Sasuke borrowed it a little while ago.

**Tsunade:** But he doesn't wear a hairtie.

**Haku:** I know. creepy.

**Tsunade:** What's he doing with it?

**Lunar:** I KNOW! -pulls down a screen. Screen shows Itachi getting beat to death with Temari's rubber band. Sasuke decideds that Itachi has been beaten, and he leaves.-

**Tsunade:**...

**Sasuke:** -walks in- Thanks Haku. -gives hime the hairtie and then leaves.-

**Tsunade:** EVERYONE RETURN HAIRTIES.

-**15 MINUTES LATER**-

**Lunar:**

**Everyone Else:** -leaves-

**Sasuke:** Was that whole thing neccessary?

**Lunar:** Yes. ON WITH THE CHAPTA. KAKASHI.

**Kakashi:** Yes?

**Lunar: **Disclaimer Segment.

**Kakashi:** DISCLAIMER SEGMENT.

**Sasuke:** Lunar, when will you learn to do that yourself?

**Lunar:** No good idea.

**Sasuke:**...

-**DiScLaImEr SeGmEnT**-

**Shikamarou:** Bored, aren't we Lunar?

**Lunar:**.. You're doing the disclaimer segment this time?

**Shikamarou:** Yes. I'm the camera guy.

**Lunar:**...oooh. kay. Why am I here?

**Shikamarou:** I don't know. you just are.

**Lunar:**...OOOH. OOOH. OOOH.

**Shikamarou:** What?

**Lunar:** I KNOW WHAT TO DO THE DISCLAIMER SEGMENT ON!!!

**Shikamarou:**... You didn't have it pre-planned out?

**Lunar:** Nope.

**Shikamarou:** Just do it.

**Lunar:** Do you like to laugh?

**Shikamarou:** occasionaly. why.

**Lunar:** Do you like my stories?

**Shikamarou:** no.

**Lunar:**...Well, if you do, then you should read some of my other stories! SASUKE. NARUTO. KAKASHI. NEJI.

**All four:** What?

**Lunar:** Advertise my stories while I supervise.

**Sasuke:**...

**Lunar:** DO IT. or the ''ballerina'' pictures shall be shown.

**Sasuke:** OO I'll do Diary of an Avenger.

**Lunar:** Good boy.

**Sasuke:** Diary of an Avenger is basically my diary of when I was with Orochimarou. Unfortunately, I wasn't in my right state of mind, so... yeah.

It's rated T. Because.. I cuss. Because... Orochimarou... is a freak.

**Lunar:** yep.

**Naruto:** ..uhhh. Shinobi News, Live at Five, is a news show, with a bunch of us as the newscast... I'm the anchor, Shikamarou operates the camera, Sakura sits behind the teleprompter talking...Choji is the backstage dude, Neji is the fangirl-warning report... and so on...I'm kinda confused on the subject... Because I was just tossed on and told to act like a news guy.

**Sakura:** STOP SAYING THAT.

**Naruto:**... uh. It's rated T. and.. yeah.

**Sakura:**...

**Lunar:** Hey. Sakura. do 'Diary of a Snake'.

**Sakura:** Diary of a Snake is Orochimarou's diary. It's creepy... Because it's his diary... Rated T... for freakiness.

**Itachi:** 'Diary of a Weasel' is my diary... and it's awesome. because I'm awesome. so, take that. ha.

**Kakashi:**... what's left?

**Lunar:** uhhh... I dunno.

**Kakashi:** oh. Know your Stars: Naruto... is, well, if you don't know.. you have problems.. and Lunar will update. Sooner or later.

**Lunar:** yep... read it. if you like it. I might not delete it.

**Kakashi:** Lunar doesn't own Naruto or yugioh... but she does own stories...

-**DiScLaImEr SeGmEnT**-

**Sasuke:** finally, you advetised your own crap.

**Lunar:** yep.. wait. HEY.

**Sasuke:** 8D

**Lunar:**... HEY OROCHIMAROU.

**Sasuke:** OONNOOOOOO!

**Lunar:** NEVERMIND. XD

**Sasuke:** I hate you.

**Lunar:** I know. I know. ANYWAYZ. LET'S START THE CHAPTER.

**Sasuke: **SAVE US ANGEL.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Angel tilted her head and examined the ninja. "So. Lunar is running around turning you're people crazy and then just plain messing with you?"

"Her name's Lunar?" Sasuke asked. Naruto nodded and watched a red-headed OC walk in, grab some plant fertilizer, and then leave. Another black haired OC walked in, grabbed some milk, and sat on the window-sill while hmming the 'yo ho yo ho' song and drinking her milk.

"Yep. Lunar X. Shinobi, the Great Authoress. Master of Crack-Fics and Leader of the Yaoi Fangirls." Angel said. BONZAIII! An ash blond OC burst through a window and rolled over a couch and onto the floor. She quickly bounced up. "FREAKIN AWESOME." She yelled, punching the air and running out of the room. The 'yo ho' OC grinned and ran after her. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

Another burnette OC walked in, cleaned up the glass with a magic wand, and then left, shaking her head. "Can you help us?" Kakashi asked, watching another Red-headed OC chase a blond one out of the studio. "Yes, yes. I can. Hold on. LUNAR." Angel yelled. Lunar came skipping out with Bakura and Marik, all of them were covered in a mixture of blood and soot.

"Yes Angel-chan?" Lunar said.

"First of all, what did you do?" Angel asked. Lunar and Marik looked at eachother.

"BAKURA DID IT!" They both yelled. Marik jumped out the window while lunar attempted to run through the door. Angel caught her, and then looked at Bakura. Bakura just ran out the window after Marik. The burnette OC returned, fixed the window again, and then left.

"LUNAR. YOU FIX WHAT YOU DID TO THESE POOR PEOPLE." Angel said, pointing at the 'Naruto' Gang. Lunar sighed.

"Alright. I'll go fix Itchy and Gang." Lunar said, running to the portal room, pressing a button with a kunai on it. She ran through the door.

"Just follow after her. Sorry for all the trouble. " Angel said, returning to her computer. The Naruto gang just shrugged and walked through the portal, ending up in Konoha. The door disappeared. Neji was lying on the floor, exhausted.

"Never. again." He said, crawling away.

"... oookay." Sasuke said.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lunar:** I'm surprised none of you got eaten by plants.

**Naruto:** Oo

**Lunar:** Anyway, No one gave us any questions. I think. I don't remember.

**Sasuke:** Shouldn't you check?

**Lunar:**... no. I don't think they gave us any questions. and if they did, I'll answer them next chapter.

**Sasuke:** Isn't next chapter a guest chapteR?

**Lunar:** Oh yeah. Kingman186 is going to be here.

**Sasuke:** yep.

**Lunar:** uhh. I forgot what Kingman wanted to say, so if he'd leave it in a review, i would tackel-hug him.

**Sasuke:** That's supposed to make him review?

**Lunar:** yes.

**Sasuke:**...

**Itachi:** yo.

**Sasuke:**... YOU'RE DEAD.

**Itachi:** dude. it was a hairtie. you just knocked me out and gave me severe and life-threatening injuries and a 99 chance of mental retardation.

**Sasuke:** Then why are you still here, and not in the hospital?

**Itachi:** Lunar fixed me.

**Sasuke:** DIE LUNAR.

**Lunar:** AHHHH MAKE YAOI NOT WAR.

**Sasuke:**...

**Lunar:**...

**Sasuke:** I'm going to kill you some day.

**Lunar:** I know. Did I tell you that i'm writing a sasunaru story?

**Sasuke:** I'm going to kill you today.

**Lunar:** Should I run then?

**Sasuke:** Yes.

**Lunar:** okay then.

**Sasuke:**...

**Lunar:** Should I run now?

**Sasuke:** Yes.

**Lunar:** Like, right now?

**Sasuke:** Yes.

**Lunar:** Like ,right now right now?

**Sasuke:** yes.

**Lunar:** not later later.

**Sasuke:**... no.

**Lunar:** but right now right now?

**Sasuke:** Yes.

**Lunar:** Why not later? like. later later

**Sasuke:**... because i'm going to kill you now.

**Lunar:** like, right now right now? or, like, later right now.

**Sasuke:**.. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU THIS FREAKIN SECOND.

**Lunar:** soo... right now right now?

**Sasuke:**... just. go.

**Lunar:** Where?

**Sasuke:** I DON'T CARE WHERE JUST MOVE YOUR -censored- SELF -censored- TO SOMEWHERE -censored WHERE I -censored- DON'T HAVE TO -censored- SEE -censored- YOUR -censored censored censored censored- FACE EVER -censored- AGAIN!!!

**Kakashi**: When you figure that ever '-censored-' is like, five cusswords, that's like an entire fleet of drunk, surly sailors.

**Lunar:** OO SASUKE'S SCARRED MY YOUNG MIND.

**Naruto:** I thought Jairaya did that.

**Lunar:**... oh yeah.

**Sasuke:**...-leaves-

**Lunar:** BYE SASUKE. I'LL SEE YOU LATER LATER.

**Sasuke:** -twitching and starts cussing as he leaves-

**Lunar:** lol. REVIEW. WITH QUESTIONS. HUZZAH.


	23. Wtf?

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter 23

_Wtf?..._

**Sasuke:** What's with the title?

**Lunar:** oh, I couldn't think of anything else.

**Sasuke:**...

**Lunar:** Well, Kingman 186 hasn't contacted me since the last chapter

**Sasuke:** Which was a month ago

**Lunar:** Shut up

**Sasuke:**...

**Lunar:** Anyway, He hasn't talked to me, so we'll just talk to him next chapter. YAY TWO GUEST CHAPTERS IN A ROW.

**Sasuke:** ... damn.

**Lunar:** Be nice Sasuke.

**Sasuke:** no.

**Lunar:** Anyway, Guess what.

**Sasuke:** What?

**Lunar:** Kakashi's two letters away from being a cereal brand.

**Naruto:** XD

**Sasuke:** Oo

**Lunar:** yeah. take away the first 'ka' and you get 'Kashi' which is a brand of cereal.

**Naruto:** cool.

**Lunar:** and it's tastes good too!

**Naruto:** I WANT ME SOME KASHI!

**Kakashi:** Why Naruto, I didn't know you felt that way.

**Lunar:** XD

**Naruto:** uh uh, not you!!!! I meant the cereal!!!

**Kakashi:** Metaphors are very romantic.

**Lunar:** ROFL.

**Naruto:** NOOOO I DON'T WANT YOU. I SAID 'KASHI' NOT 'KAKASHI'

**Kakashi:** I like the nickname.

**Lunar:** XDXDXDXD lol

**SAsuke:**ew.

**Kakashi:** Shall we talk this over in my room?

**Naruto:** AHHHH LUNAR SAVE ME. -jumps and hides behind lunar.-

**Kakashi:** ooh. playing hide and seek?

**Lunar:** There is only one way to save you Naruto.

**Naruto:** What is that?

**Lunar:** You must partake in a more popular you based yaoi that Kakanaru. Then Kakashi will also find himself in the middel of a more popular him-based yaoi.

**Naruto:** Like what?

**Lunar:** -evil grin-

**Sasuke:** Why do I find myself scared?

**Lunar:** oh, nothing, just, sasunaru happens to be, as far as I know, the most popular yaoi...

**Naruto:**OO

**Sasuke:**OO

**Naruto:** ...why?

**Lunar:** Cause it's hot.

**Naruto:** no, why him?

**Lunar:** I don't repeat myself.

**Naruto:**

**Kakashi:** oooh narutoooo.

**Naruto:** AHHH! FINE! sasunaru it is. better than Mr. Molester.

**Lunar:** Actually, that's Orochimarou, not Kakashi. Kakashi's Sir Spanky.

**Naruto:** Oo

**Sasuke:** Oo

**Lunar:** I don't name them.

**Naruto:**Oo

**Sasuke:** Oo

**Lunar:** People call him that 'cause... well, that's his type.

**Naruto:** OO

**Sasuke:**OO

**Lunar:** That's some pretty good yaoi.

**Naruto:**OO -scoots away-

**Sasuke:** OO -scoots away-

**Kakashi:** OOOH NARUTOOOOO.

**Naruto:** ACK NO SAVE ME SASUKE. -pounces sasuke-

**Kakashi:** ooh. involve sasuke?

**Lunar:** XDXDXDXD

**Naruto:** NO!!! LUNARR!!!

**Lunar:** Ya gotta kiss for the great law of yaoi to take hold.

**Sasuke:**OO

**Naruto:** OO

**Sasuke:**OO

**Naruto:**OO

**Kakashi:** -wink-

**Naruto: **AHHHHHHHHH -kisses Sasuke-

**Lunar: **SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

**Kakashi:** -blink. blink- aww. i'm single again.

**Iruka:** Hi kakashi.

**Kakashi:** Hi Iruka!

**Iruka:** -drags Kakashi off-

**Lunar:** SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE -dizzy from the yaoi-ness-

**Sasuke:** Naruto..

**Naruto:** what?

**Sasuke:** I've discovered something.

**Naruto:** What? That we're really gay and all of Lunar's wildest dreams have come true and that she's really gonna rule the world in all of her creepy terror-ness?

**Sasuke:**...First, I admit to nothing. Second, I will not let her rule the world. I'll make out with Itachi first.

**Lunar:** SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- continues in the lalaland of mental yaoi-

**Naruto:** Then what?

**Sasuke:** We can take down Lunar. with her love. of yaoi.

**Naruto:** OO omg. you're brilliant.

**Sasuke:** I know.

**Naruto:** Just so you know, the smugness isn't attractive.

**Sasuke:**...Then why are you still attached to me?

**Naruto:**...I thought you admited to nothing.

**Sasuke:** I didn't admit anything.

**Lunar:** -watching them intently-

**Naruto:** she scares me.

**Sasuke:** -kisses Naruto's nose-

**Lunar:** SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

**Kakashi**-sticks his head outside the door- CUE THE DISCLAIMER SEGMENT! I don't want kids to see.

-**Disclaimer Segment**-

**Lunar:** -typing-

**Kakashi:** uh. Lunar?

**Lunar:** Yes?

**Kakashi:** Did you schedule anything for chapter 23's disclaimer segment?

**Lunar:** OO uh oh.

**Kakashi:**...

**Lunar:** oh well. I always have a backup plan.

**Kakashi:** Like what?

**Lunar:** -opens a file- See?

**Kakashi:** now I know why we're all screwed up.

**Lunar:** -sticks out tounge- meh. Anywayz, let's see... My site advertisement, hula advertisement, tea advertisement, monkey advertisement...

**Kakashi:** monkey?

**Lunar:** don't ask.

**Kakashi:** Oo

**Lunar:**ooooooooooooooooooooh. this'll work.

**Kakashi:** What?

**Lunar: **Pixie sticks!!!!!

**Kakashi:**... I have a bad feeling.

**Lunar:** Do you like my stories?

**Kakashi:** I'm afraid to answer that.

**Lunar:** Do you wanna join me in my awesome world of craziness?

**Kakashi:** No.

**Lunar:** Are you too low income to afford crack?

**Kakashi:**...

**Lunar:** Then get _piiiixxxxiiieeee stttiiccckkkssss_

**Kakashi:** Oo I'm scared.

**Lunar:** Pixie Sticks turn a boring world of dullness into a colorful world of fun and utter nonsense.

**Kakashi:**...

**Lunar:** Want to see dancing chibi monkeys? _piiiiixxxxxiiiiieeeee stttiiiccckkkksss._

**Kakashi:** Oo...

**Lunar:** Wanna fly?_ pppiiiiiiixxxxxxiiiiiieeeeee sssstttiiiccckkkkkssssss_

**Kakashi:** --''

**Lunar:** Wanna learn how to do the hula? _ppppiiiixxxxxiiiieeeee ssstttiiiccckkkkssss_

**Kakashi:**... I'm scared.

**Lunar:**Wanna turn into a chihuahua? _ppppiiiixxxxxiiiieeee stttiiiiccckkkkssssss_

**Kakashi:** uhhhh. She doesn't own Naruto. or her sanity.

-**End Disclaimer Segment**-

**Lunar:** -dies from nosebleed-

**Sasuke:** -pulls pants back on- ...

**Naruto:** -tugs on his shirt- I've never seen anyone have so many successive nosebleeds.

**Sasuke:** I never knew you knew the world succcessive.

**Naruto:**...

**Sasuke:** so. what now?

**Naruto:**... We leave. FREEDOM.

**Kakashi:** -peeks his head out the door- Got any extra whipped cream?

**Sasuke:** Dude. She's dead. We killed her.

**Kakashi:** I know.

**Naruto:** OO

**Sasuke:** OO

**Kakashi:** -poofs into the kitchen, grabs the whipped cream, poofs back into the room and closes the door-

**Naruto:** OO

**Sasuke:** OO...ew.

**Naruto:** OO I know. Can we leave now?

**Sasuke:** Hell ya.

**Lunar:** OMRTHATWASTHEBESTYAOII'VEEVERSEENANDITAPEDITTOOIMUSTSHOWITTOTHEOTEHRYAOIFANGIRLS!!!!!!-runs off-

**Naruto:**OO I THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD

**Sasuke:** OO WHAT THE HELL

**Itachi:** You can't kill authoresses. now get the chocolate syrup and come Deidara. -walks into a room-

**Deidara:**-wearing a collar and a leash- Yes Itachi! -grabs it and follows-

**Sasuke:** WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?

**Kisame:** The water. -leaves-

**Naruto:** Oo...

**Lunar:** -peeks head in- START THE CHAPTER

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The gang walked back through the portal and found themselves in the middle of Konoha. A black haired OC bowed. "Lunar said that everything is fixed... for now." She said, dissappearing in a rush of wind. Naruto shivered.

"... I have a terrible feeling. " He said. Sasuke nodded. "Yeah... Who is she going to target next? and why?" He asked. Everyone shook their head. No one knew of the dark evil's of the Great Authoress.

-------------

Neji had been walking home after his experience with the Akatsuki, when his eyes fell on Lee. Suddenly he felt compelled to go after and kiss his teammate. Neji shook his head. "What the hell?" He turned his head to the right and saw Lunar grinning with a notepad. She waved her hand and compelled Neji to go after Lee. Ten seconds later, both of them were tangled up in Lee's apartment, and clothes were coming off. Lunar grinned.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lunar: **NejiLee isn't my favorite pairing, but it's a damned good one.

**Neji:** -shudders-

**Lee:**

**Neji:** Don't you have a problem with this?

**Lee:** Nope.

**Neji:** Oo

**Lunar:**

**Naruto:** so, is the story over?

**lunar:** nope.

**Naruto:** darn.

**Lunar:** XD

**Sasuke:** I wonder when freedom will come?

**Lunar:** NEVAH.

**Sasuke:**--

**Naruto:**--

**Lunar:**

**Kakashi:** so, what will the next chapter be about?

**Lunar:** Random convo's between me n' mah friends.

**Kakashi:** gee that sounds safe

**Lunar:** Well, at least it's interesting.

**Kakashi:**...

**Sasuke:**...

**Naruto:** -eating ramen-

**Sasuke:** okay how did you get ramen and why are you eating it at a time like this?

**Naruto:** Lunar gave it to me and i'm hungry.

**Sasuke:**--

**Lunar:**

**Sasuke:** --

**Lunar:** I'm bored.

**Sasuke:** End the chapter then.

**Lunar:** fine._**REVIEW WITH QUESTIONS**_


	24. Updated! gasp

**NINJA NONSENSE**

Chapter 24

_... Bah. Stupid Not Updating... SORRY '''_

**Lunar:** SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING. I know I should, but I haven't. I'll make it up to you though! By... DOING WHATEVER I WANT. Why? Cause I'm psychotic and it's funny just whatever I put. Besides, it's ''nonsense''... Anyway, I have Kingman 186 in a closet somewhere...

**Naruto:** Why do you have him in a closet?

**Lunar:**... Well, Last chapter was suppost to be his guest chapter... so this chapter is his guest chapter...

**Sasuke:**... He's been in there for months.

**Lunar:**. Who told you?

**Sasuke:**... The pounding on the door.

**Lunar:** Ohhh. -opens the door and kingman 186 falls out and twitches- ... oops.

**Usagi:**... Hi

**Lunar:** AHHH RANDOM OC!

**Usagi:**... Actually, I'm Kingman 186's OC.

**Lunar:** ahhh. -poking Kingman 186 with her foot-

**Usagi:** ...What are you doing?

**Lunar:** Seeing if he's still alive.

**Kingman 186:** I am.

**Lunar:** AHHHHHHH ZOMBIE!

**Sasuke:** --

**Kingman 186:**... Hi Sasugay.

**Sasuke:**.. -twitch. twitch-

**Lunar:** Guess what. I WATCHED SWEENY TODD... like, two days after it came out... AND I LOVE THE MUSIC.

**Naruto:**.. you would.

**Kingman 186:** I missed being able to put my arms out.

**Usagi:**... Oo

**Sasuke:**... Welcome to my life.

**Lunar:** -singing a song from sweeny todd-

**Sasuke:** --

**Lunar:** hot and fresh from the oven.- hands Kingman 186 a pie-

**Kingman 186:** What is it?

**Lunar:** It's priest. Have a little priest.

**Kingman 186:** ...Is it good?

**Lunar:** Oh Sir, it's too good, at least.Of course they don't commit sins of the flesh, so it's pretty fresh.

**Sasuke:** -knocks lunar out before this can continue - Sorry dude...

**Kingman 186:**... Did she just make me take part in a musical number?

**Sasuke:** yes.

**Kingman 186:** ... Didn't see that coming...

**Naruto:**... -poking lunar with a billaird pole-

**Lunar:** ... ow.

**Naruto:** So... Got anything planned?

**Lunar:** Who? Me?

**Naruto:** Yes you.

**Lunar:** no.

**Sasuke:** liar.

**Kingman 186:** .. what's with the massive group of people wearing red and holding giant pocky sitcks?

**Lunar:** -wearing a red priestess outfit holding giant pocky sticks- Oh. I'm in a pocky-based cult.

**Sasuke:** Oo

**Naruto:** Oo

**Usagi:**... Oo... -To Kingman 186- Why are we here?

**Kingman 186:**... I don't remember. I was in that closet for so long... so long... -shakes-

**Usagi:** Oo Kingman? Hello? you okay?

**Lunar:** -standing in front of the crowd of pocky-lovers singing- Pooocckyyy, pooockkkyyy, poockky pocky pocky.

**Naruto:** Oo

**Lunar:** Let us bow to the pocky!

**Sasuke:** Oo

**Pocky Cult:** -bows-

**Kingman 186:**... What happened?

**Usagi:** You went though a mental breakdown because a creepy authoress kept you in a closet.

**Kingman 186:**... Why didn't you rescue me?

**Usagi:**.. you're the one who wanted to be in this chapter.

**Naruto:**...Oo

**Lunar:** -doing a pocky pocky dance-

**Kingman 186:** Oo

**Naruto:** ...Oo

**Sasuke:** Oo

**Lunar:**... So, who shall we sacrifice to the pocky cult?

**Pocky Cult:**... hmm... Kabuto.

**Kabuto:** Why me?

**Lunar:** Cause.. you work for a weirdo.

**Pocky Cult:** -drags KAbuto off-

**Lunar:** -follows-

**Naruto:** Oo

**Kingman 186:**... hmmm. It's been so long, I've forgotten why I wanted to come here.

**Neji:** -bounces by stuck in a wheel of cheese- HEEEELLLPPP

**Kingman 186:** Oo... oh yeah. cause it's funny.

**Naruto:** WHO WANTS FONDU?

**Sasuke: **I could enjoy some. -chases Neji-

**Neji:** AHHHHH!

**Usagi:**... Why did I have to come again?

**Naruto:** I owe you 20 bucks.

**Usagi:** oh yeah.

**Kingman 186:** so you only came cause naruto owed you 20 bucks?

**Usagi:** pretty much.

**Kingman 186:** What about me?

**Usagi:**... idk.

**Sasuke:**...

**Naruto:** Oo

**Lunar:**... HEY. I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING FUN.

**Naruto:**.. Weren't you busy with your cult?

**Lunar:** _pocky_ cult.

**Sasuke:** oh, that makes it better.

**Lunar:** and we already sacrificed Kabuto. The pocky likes fast deaths.

**Sasuke:** Oo

**Kingman 186:** What's your idea?

**Lunar:** WHOSE LINE! KAKASHI, DO THE DISCLAIMER WHILE I SET UP THE SET!

**Kakashi:** Oo okay? DISCLAIEMR SEGMENT!

-**Disclaimer Segment**-

**Lunar:**... SOOOO.. HIIIII. For this disclaimer Segment, I've decided to have the Akatsuki use their broadway song... Ready? Here ya go! GO AKATSUKI!!

**Itachi:** - walks out to the middle of the stage and clears his throat- _When I was a little sadist boy, I was allll alooone. I was just a ninja in a clan, with no place to call hoooome. When I killed my best friend, I sealed the deal and I was truly aloooone. when I was a little boy of 13, a thought came to meeeeeee! TO SLAUGHTER MY FAMILY AND JOIN THE AKATSUKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!_

**Akatsuki:** -starts doing this weird little dance- _THE AKATSUKI! THE AKATSUKI! JOIN THE AKATSUKI! WE'RE A HOME WHEN YOU DON'T GOT ONE. WE'RE FAMILY EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T WANT ONE, JUST WATCH YOUR BACK 'CAUSE SOME OF US ARE GAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY! THE AKATSUKI!_

**Kisame:** -takes center stage-_ I was a freaakkkyy boyyy. I had this habit, of biting my classmmaaattess. and eveerryone ellllsee. Even when I joined the sworrddsssmmeeennn, no one would give me a huuugggggggggggggggg! I found my talen for fashion, when the mizukage kicked my ass to the cuuuuurrrbbb! Now I'm totally gaaay, for my hot asssss partner!! -_steps toward Itachi-

**Itachi:** That's unwanted..

**Kisame:** -looks completely dejected-

**Kisame:** _But it's ookaaayyy cause... I JOINED THE AKATSUKI!_

**Akatsuki:**___THE AKATSUKI, THE AKATSUKI, JOIN THE AKATSUKI! WE'RE A HOME WHEN YOU DON'T GOT ONE, WE'RE A FAMILY EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T WANT ONE, JUST WATCH YOUR BACK CAUSE SOME OF US ARE GAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY! THE AKATSUKI!!_

**Sasori:** _I've always loved my pupppeeetttts, more than I loved peopleeee. Everyone said I was creeepppy, I just told them 'GO TO HEELLLLL' When I went to the prom with Crow, everyone ran awwwaaaayyyy. So I searched for a place, that would accept my unique storrrryyyyy! and I found... THE AKATSUKI!!_

**Kisame:** I want you Sasori.

**Sasori:** Yep. That's unwanted.

**Kisame:** -looks dejected again-

**Akatsuki: **_THE AKATSUKI, THE AKATSUKI, JOOOIIIINNN THE AKATSUKI. WE'RE A HOME WHEN YOU DON'T GOT ONE ,WE'RE A FAMILY WHEN YOU DON'T WANT ONE, JUST WATCH YOUR BACK CAUSE SOME OF US ARE GAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! THE AKATSUKI!!_  
**Deidara:** _I blew up my school, my house, the city hall, and the public pooooool, my village kicked me out, that made me pout, then Madara called me sexxxyyy! I decided to say screw my village and now me and my clay-molding ass have joined the Akatsuki!_

**Kisame:** You are sexy.

**Deidara:** still unwanted.

**Akatsuki:** _THE AKATSUKI! THE AKATSUKI! JOIN THE AKATSUKI! WE'RE A HOME WHEN YOU DON'T GOT ONE, WE'RE A FAMILY WHEN YOU DON'T WANT ONE, JUST WATCH YOUR BACKS CAUSE SOME OF US ARE GAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!! THE AKATSUKI!!_

**Orochimarou:** _I'm going to betray you all, but before then I must sayyyy, you're sexy asssses turned me gaaaayyy! But you're all too old for meee, I'd like a boy younger than sixteeennn! Itachi, I'm going after your sexy little brother!!_

**Itachi:** That is defiantely unwanted.

**Akatsuki:**___THE AKATSUKI! THE AKATSUKI! JOIN THE AKATSUKI! WE'RE A HOME WHEN YOU DON'T GOT ONE, WE'RE A FAMILY EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T WANT ONE, JUST WATCH YOUR BACK CAUSE SOME OF US ARE GAAAYYYYYYYYY! THE AKATSUKI!_

**Itachi:** Seriously Kisame. no one wants you.

**Kisame:** -pouts-

**Akatsuki:** _WE'RE THE AKATSUKI! THE AKATSUKI! WE'RE A BAND OF S-CLASS KILLERS WITH IDENTITY ISSUES! WE'RE THE AKATSUKI! THE AKATSUKI! WE'RE A BUNCH OF GAY GUYS WHO SAY WE'RE STRAIGHT BUT IT'S ALL LIES WE'RE THE AKATSUKI! THE AKATSUKI! WE ALL THINK WE'RE SUPER SMEXY! _**Tobi:** But no one wants Kisame. **Kisame:**Hey! _THE AKATSUKI! THE AKATSUKI! AND WE WANT TO RULE THE WOOORRLLLDDD! -all pose_-

-**End Disclaimer Segment**-

**Naruto:**... What the hell was that?

**Lunar:**... If you look up ''Akatsuki Pics'' on photobucket, there's a pic that looks like them poses after a musical number.

**Naruto:** --

**Kingman 186:** ... soo.. what now?

**Lunar:** The story, of course!! -drags everyone off-

--

A tall girl with golden brown hair sat at a desk, with a large grin on her face. "Welcome, to Whose Line is it Anyway, Ninja Nonsense Edition! I'm your host, Lunar X. Shinobi! What's the X for? I dunno. No one knows. Today, we're gonna have a lot of fun at the Naruto character's expense! Allow me to introduce our players! Sasuke 'I freaking hate everything' Uchiha, Naruto 'Cute Little Dreamer' Uzumaki, Sakura 'Has Several Issues' Haruno, Kakashi 'Fangirls scare the out of me' Hatake, Itachi ''I'm so concieted'' Uchiha, and more!! oh, and our special guest, is Kingman '' Why did I want to be in this again?"186!! Let's play! Our first game is... Scenes from a Hat! This game is for everyone. Okay, first catagory is... Reasons an opera might get ruined!!"

Sasuke sighs and walks on stage. "Oh, this is the point, of no return!"

Sakura joined him. "Are you sure? Cause you forgot your pants."

Sasuke looked down. "oh shit." He ran off. Sakura followed.

Naruto walked on stage, tap danced, and then left. Lunar shook her head and pressed the button. "Next one... Things you don't want to hear in the middle of a fight!"

Sasuke and Itachi walked on. Sasuke moved like he was about to punch Itachi.

Itachi: " Sasuke I'm gay." Sasuke stopped, stared at him with a wtf face, and then left.

Naruto and Sasuke walked on. Sasuke was about to kick him, when Naruto started singing. "If you were gaayyy, that'd be okayyyy..." Sasuke stopped, and then left. Lunar pressed the button. "Okay, next catagory, What's in Sasuke's diary!" Sasuke twiched.

Naruto walks out. " I'm so sexy. That I am. Yes, I am so sexy. I am sexy. Sexy me. Yes. I brought sexy back. heck yeah." Then he left. Sasuke glared.

Itachi stepped out and took a deepbreath. "avengeavengeavengeravengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavengeavenge." He then left.

Naruto stepped out. "... Orochimarou touched me today... It was creepy. I'm scared now..." Then he left. Lunar was blue from lack of oxygen due to laughter.

Kakashi stepped out. ".. I.. rock." Then he left.

Lunar pressed the button while trying to breathe."Next...catagory...Men..that..women..just don't.. seem to go for.." She said, while laughing.

Naruto stepped down. "Hi, I'm Jairaya." then he left.

Sasuke stepped out. "Hi, I'm Kisame." then he left.

Itachi stepped out. "Hi, I'm Orochimarou, where are your underage boys?" Then he left.

Lunar put her head down, laughing. She pressed the buzzer. "Next Catagory.Things you shouldn't do when confronted by ANBU."

Naruto stepped out. "Anybody want pie?"

Itachi flips his hair and winks. "hiiii." Lunar was laughing again.

Kingman 186 stepped out. "I know kung fu!" Starts waltzing. Waltzes off.

Kakashi stepped out. "Fear the kung fu cat!" leaves.

Sasuke stepped out. "cluck. cluck. cluck." Lunar pressed the buzzer. "What Naruto is thinking right now."

Naruto stepped out. "..." Then he left.

Sasuke stepped out. "..." Then he left.

Kakashi stepped out. "... "

Naruto got back out. " COW!" Then he left.

Sasuke stepped out. "... Ramen.ramen. ramen. ramen. ramen. ramen. ramen. COW!" Then he left.

Kingman 186 stepped out. "... train. train. train. train. HOKAGE. train. train. train. train. COW!" Then he left. Lunar laughed and pressed the button. "Okay, The Secret life of the Cast..."

Sasuke steps out. " ahh crocheting. How I love thee." then he leaves.

Naruto and Itachi go out. Naruto hugs Itachi. "oh my sweet love." They both leave. Lunar's down from a nosebleed.

Kakashi stepped out, and then sang a random broadway song. He left.

Kingman 186 stepped out with Neji. "okay, how many fingers am I holding up?"

Neji blinked. "Uh, 7?"

Kingman shook his head." no."

Neji left. Kingman left.

Lunar shook her head and pressed the button. "okay, um, unused jeopardy catagories."

Naruto stepped out. " Doll Killers of the 20th century for 200." Then he left.

Sasuke got on. " Pedofiles of the Sound for 1000." Then he left.

Kakashi stepped out. "Reasons everyone things Sasuke is gay for 400."

Kingman 186 stepped out. " uhhhh for 2000." Lunar shook her head and buzzed them out.

Lunar stared at the next catagory and shook her head. "People you don't want to see naked on the internet."

Sasuke walked on and pretended to click. "OMR. MY EYES OROCHIMAROU. " Sasuke fell down 'dead'. Kakashi dragged him off.

Naruto got on. "OMR MY EYES JAIRAYA." He fell to the ground 'dead.' Kingman 186 dragged him off, then came back. "AHHHHH TSUNADE WITHOUT HER JUTSU." then he ran.

Kakashi went on and clicked. "... Itachi... and...Naruto..." He just left. Lunar laughed and pressed the buzzer. "okay, next one, What the Grim Reaper does in his spare time."

Neji stepped out. "FORE!" Then he left.

Naruto stepped out and pretended to do the hula. Then he left.

Itachi stepped out and started unbuttoning his cloak. He left. Lunar was out with another nosebleed.

Kakashi stepped out and began reciting poetry. Sasuke kicked him off.

Sasuke sat down and pretending to be typing on a laptop. "middleage male, thin, pale, slightly bony figure, seeks mate who doesn't mind death..." Then he left. Lunar was laughing her ass off. She pressed the buzzer. "Last... one... Inappropriate show and tell items."

Sasuke stepped out and reached for his pants. Then he left.

Naruto pulled out a doll. "And this is what Sasuke used during his psych elvaluation when he returned from sound..." Then he left.

Itachi stepped out. " ..this is the very sword I used to slaughter my family..." Then he left.

Kingman 186 stepped out. "... This is bob. bob is deadly. bob wants to kill you all. bob shall get you.. " He's holding a gum wrapper. Then he leaves. Lunar buzzes them to their seats. "okay, next game is for, Neji, Naruto, and Kakashi. It's called Newsflash, Neji is the reporter, Naruto and Kakashi, you two are the anchors." Neji walked in front of the green screen. Naruto and KAkashi sat at the desk.

Naruto started. "Hello, I'm Uzumaki Naruto and this is Hatake Kakashi, we seem to have breaking news, let's go to our reporter, Hyuuga Neji. Neji?"

Neji was standing in front of a screen that was playing Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds'. Naruto immidiently put his head down in laughter. Kakashi took the line. "So, Neji, what's going on?"

Neji sighed and pretended to look around. "well... there's a lot of.. stuff going on... and... um, people are suffering from it."

Naruto raised his head. "Can you see how many of these things are there?"

Neji sighed. "Well, I believe it's anywhere from thousands and thousands of them."

Kakashi shook his head. "And, what affects will this have on the enviornment?"

"Well, this will ahve some very negatives effects, because there will be a mess everywhere." Neji said. Naruto raised his eyebrow.

"And is that sanitary?" He asked.

"I believe taht someone told me we'll be quiet fine, and that we've survived this kind of mess before." Neji said.

"No doubt, can you tell us exactly what is happening now?" Kakashi asked. The birds where swarming, and neji happened to stand exactly where they were swarming.

"Well, they seem to be surrounding me, um, to some great extent. But it's all in peace this is a very peaceful event."

Naruto put his head down again, shaking in laughter. Kakashi shook his head. "Is that so..."

Neji nodded. "This even will have some positive long lasting effects. Destiny decrees it." naruto's head shot up. "What did you just say?" Neji blinked. " oh crap." Neji took off, with Naruto following behind shouting " I SAID TO NEVER SAY FATE OR DESTINY, EVER AGAIN!!" Lunar was laughing her ass off. "ookay... hmm. what next? ooh, I know, props! This game is for Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi, and Iruka." They all walked up, and looked at their props. Sasuke and naruto had giant foam spring coils, and Iruka and Kakashi had a giant box. Sasuke glared at lunar, and threw Zabuza's sword at her. She laughed, dodged, and waited.

Naruto and Sasuke sighed and went on. Naruto sat on the spring and began bouncing up and down. "Hey. " bounce. "Sasuke" bounce "I" bounce "See" bounce "that" bounce "you" bounce "got our new training" bounce "tool too." bounce. They both bounced off. Iruka and Kakashi got onstage. Kakashi sat in the box. Iruka cooed. "aww. look at the kitty!" They left.

Sasuke and Naruto came back wearing the coils on their head. " I can't believe we're wearing the newest style." Naruto said. They both left. Kakashi and Iruka came in. Iruka stared at the box. "When I said you don't have to spend a thousand on a hotel room, I really didn't mean you didn't have to pay over five bucks." The two grabbed the box and left.

Sasuke and Naruto came onstage. Naruto started dancing. The spring Sasuke was holding 'boing'-ed up. They left. Sasuke flung another kunai at lunar. Kakashi went up with the box on his head. Iruka stared at him. Kakashi spoke. "I lost my mask."

Lunar pressed the button. "sorry, you guys suck. hmmm. Next game, Next game.hmm. Another props. Let's have Itachi, Gaara, Kingman 186 and... L." Sasuke stared at Lunar. ".. dude. 'L'.. whose L?" L pokes him in the shoulder. "I'm L." Sasuke jumped. "What the hell? He isn't a 'Naruto' Character!" Lunar shrugged. "So? I like L.. Now let's start the game!"

Itachi and Gaara had a bar of candy-cane colored foam poles. Kingman 186 and L had hula hoops. Lunar grinned and hid from Itachi's genjutsus.

Itachi and Gaara sighed and stepped out. Gaara pretending to dance around it. "Okay, you do it like this." Itachi stared, and then pretended to dance around his pole. The two left.

Kingman186 and L stepped out. Kingman was holding the hula hoops like mickey mouse ears on his head. "okay, you were right. This was a stupid idea." then the two left.

Itachi and Gaara stepped out again. Itachi was holding the pole in front of him. Gaara stared. " I said I didn't want to see it." Then he left. Itachi followed, then tried to kill Lunar with a fire jutsu.

Kingman 186 and L stepped out again. L was staring. "I will catch this criminal. He grabbed the hula hoops and through them over Kingman 186 as he 'ran' by. "Ha! I have prevailed yet again!" They left. Lunar pressed the button. "That was cool! and since the chapter is already long enough to have more words that my entire 'BackLash' combined, we'll finish up here! See ya folks next chapter!!"

--

**Sasuke:** WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

**Lunar:** XD idk.

**Kingman 186:** Can I go now? I want to see my dog again.

**Lunar:** XD okay. have fun. buh-bye now.

**Naruto:**... That was... interesting.

**Lunar:** Oh I know! I think profist of doom is next... but i'm not sure.

**Sasuke:** You have another one?!

**Lunar:** Yep.

**Sasuke:**... Can I have a vacation? PLEASE?

**Lunar:**... sure.

**Sasuke:** ... really?

**Lunar:** Yeah. go ahead. you just won't be in the next chapter.

**Sasuke:**... I LOVE YOU. -runs-

**Lunar:**... -grinning evilly-

**Naruto:**... I don't like that look

**Itachi:** I don't either.

**Lunar:** oh, you guys will seee.

**Kakashi:** So, what are we doing now?

**Lunar:**.. hmm. Let's see. I finished the chapter, Kingman 186 is going home, we announced whose coming next... I dunno.

**Naruto:**.. hmm. Karoke?

**Lunar:** nah. that can be something for next chapter.

**Naruto:**.. Then, um, shouldn't you end this chapter? I mean, you already said that it was insanely long.

**Lunar:** It is insanely long. I've never written such a long ninja nonsense before. I mean, this is pretty much the size of chapters 1-10 combined.. or mabey bigger.

**Kakashi:** Or mabey you're over exaggerating.

**Lunar:** yeah. I suppose I am. but it's huge.

**Kakashi:** Then shouldn't you end it?

**Lunar:** But I don't wanna. I like typing this story.

**Kakashi:** Don't you have like, 13 other stories to update right now?

**Lunar:** shut up.

**Kakashi:**...

**Lunar:** See you guys later! Review! with Questions if you wanna! Next chapter has a Dear Abby sort of thing. So write ''letters'' for whoever you want, except Sasuke. He's on vacation... -laughs evilly-

**Kakashi:**OO

**Naruto:** OO

**Lunar:** REVIEW!!


	25. DUN DUN DUUUUN

Ninja Nonsense

Chapter 25

_Dun Dun duuuuuun!_

**Naruto:** What's up with the title?

**Lunar:** Ninja nonsense?

**Naruto:** --'' No. dun dun duuuuun.

**Lunar:** oh…. There has to be a reason for the title?

**Naruto:** Well…. Yeah, kind of.

**Lunar:** -blink. Blink. Blink.- uhhhhhhh. Uhhhhh. Uhhhhhhh. I dunno. OOOH OOOH OOH Guess what Guess what Guess what!

**Naruto:** uhhh. What?

**Lunar:** Kyuubi sent us a post card!

**Naruto:** really?

**Lunar**: yep! It sayyyys:

_Dear beloved cast and crew, and to the hated Lunar who must die in a ball of fireflames that shall fall to the very deepest pits of hell and crash into a deposit of diamonds upon which her body shall be impaled and then she shall be crushed by falling rocks that are burning with the fury of a thousand suns and then she shall be fed to a herd of angry wildebeests and then she shall be dead….._

_((Lunar:… wow, loving, isn't he._

_Naruto:… Lunar. Just continue reading._

_Lunar: -pout- fine. You suck.-))_

_It is I, Kyuubi no Kitsune. I am writing to you from the closet of the authoress that the hated Lunar (may she die a terrible death by being gnawed apart by hundreds of great white sharks then tossed in a vat of acid and set to simmer for several hours while a team of 20 men stand above it firing countless machine guns into the acid.) gave me to. I am writing to say I am quite fine, or I would be if it wasn't for these stupid freaking bows ( may all bows be destroyed in a massive atomic explosion and may all memories of how to make bows disappear into time's gaping jaws, which is also what I hope shall happen to Lunar, who must die by falling into the gaping jaws of a hundred thousand lions, then she must be tossed off the highest cliff into the deepest canyon where she shall be torn up by hundreds of thousands of rocks and then she shall finally die by drowning in the deepest river known to man/youkai-kind.) Anyway, I was just really writing to say Hi, how are you doing, and HELP ME IF YOU HAVE ANY HUMANITY IN YOUR HEARTS AT ALL RESCUE ME! And when you do, we shall find Lunar, and then we shall kill her by first stabbing her with a million kunai knives, and then impaling her with a thousand shuriken, and then repeatedly slashing her with hundreds of kantanas, and then _

_we shall set her on fire with a giant pile of gunpowder so that she might explode, and then any remains that remain shall be set on fire and stomped on until they can no longer be seen with the naked eye in any circumstance. MHUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA._

_With lots and lots and lots of love, Kyuubi no Kitsune. (heart)_

**Naruto:**ummm…. Oookayyyy…

**Lunar:**… What a lovely letter. How sweet of him to send it.

**Naruto:** OO! Dude! He mentioned, several times, about killing you! In pretty terrible ways to…

**Lunar:** oh, he'll get over it.

**Naruto:** I don't think so.

**Lunar:** Well, that can be for another chapter. I don't feel like dwelling on Kyuubi's eternal hatred of.. um.. well… me.

**Naruto:**… I wouldn't want to dwell on it either.

**Lunar:** Anyway, let's see… what shall we do now that Sasuke's… -pauses and reads a review- uh oh.

**Naruto: **uh oh? What uh oh.

**Lunar:** eh heh… uhhh, I think Kingman's imprisonment (accidental folks, accidental) affected him….

**Naruto:**… why?

**Lunar:**… Well… he's going after Sasuke. To kill him… I think I oughta go save Sasuke….

**Naruto:**..WHAT? YOU _THINK_!! GO SAVE SASUKE-TEME FROM THE MANIAC YOU CREATED.

**Lunar:** XD Kingman wouldn't be the first… Anyway, COME SPARKLES!

**Naruto:** Sparkles?

**Giant white armored war horse:** -walks up- -snorts-

**Naruto:** OO that's _sparkles?_

**Lunar:** -hugging sparkles- well, yeah. A fan girl has got to have a decent warhorse.

**Sparkles:** -stares at Naruto menacingly-

**Naruto:** OO uhh. Okayy. Um, Shouldn't you be going to save Sasuke now?

**Lunar:** Oh yeah!! Off we go Sparkles, to save the stupid gay chicken! –rides off-

**Naruto:** Oo Gay chicken?... wait. WHAT WILL WE DO HERE FOR THE REST OF THE CHAPTER THEN?

**Kakashi:** What about a gay chicken?

**Naruto:** oh, Sasuke went on vacation, and now the guy Lunar had locked up in her closet is going after Sasuke.

**Kakashi:**… I would too if I was trapped in Lunar's closet for that long. There's…. things living there.

**Naruto:** terrible, terrible, yaoi-ish things. –shudder-

**Kakashi:**… We're kind of lucky he didn't kill himself.

**Naruto:** -solemn nod- Very Lucky.

**Kakashi:**.. So, what will we do without the authoress?

**Naruto:** We can call Angel… She can tell us more stories about Lunar and the akatsuki.

**Kakashi:** -chuckles- do it do it.

**Naruto: **-grabs a phone- hi, is this Angel ? Hi, this is Naruto… Lunar when to go save Sasuke-teme from certain death. Will you come run the chapter? Cause, we're bored. Cool! Thanks, bye!

… She's coming.

**Kakashi:** Cool. So, what will we do until she gets here?

**Naruto:** I dunno. I don't usually think about these things anymore.. It's hard enough keeping alive in here.

**Kakashi:** yep. Alive and unmolested. An oc nearly jumped me yesterday. Luckily itachi was nearby, so I used him as a human shield.

**Naruto:** -shudders- They're everywhere…..

**Kakashi:** XD… Yes. They are Naruto.. And they're coming.. For you!

**Angel:** KAKASHI HATAKE! DON'T YOU GO ABOUT MESSING WITH NARUTO'S HEAD! LUNAR DOES THAT JOB WELL ENOUGH!

**Kakashi:** OO. Uh, yes ma'am.

**Angel:** Anyway, so, let me get this straight. Lunar sent Sasuke on vacation. Then the guy that Lunar has accidentally left in her closet for a couple of months decided to go after Sasuke and kill him. So Lunar had to leave to save Sasuke.

**Naruto:** yes.

**Angel:**…. Why can't this story be more normal? Like, I don't know, Repercussion, or Backlash or something……

**Naruto:**… Same reason why Lunar can't be normal. This story is more fun.

**Angel:** That's it, I need to get all of you away from Lunar for a little while.

**Naruto: **Isn't that why you're here?

**Angel:**….. yes. Yes it is. Anyway, let's see, Lunar usually leaves backup plans somewhere…. –picking through a file cabinet-

**Naruto:** Oo?

**Angel:** Shut up Naruto. Anyway, okay, here we go. 'Just in Case Plan number 52. If I ever accidentally leave a reviewer in the closet for months on end and it just happens to affect his mental health so deeply that he becomes psychotic and bent on killing Sasuke and I have to leave to rescue Sasuke and someone calls Angel to stand in for me.'

**Naruto:**… Lunar's really specific, isn't she?

**Angel:** Yes. Yes she is. Okay, so basically, I use clip 15 of Lunar and Diedara with the giant pot of clay named Roberto, and I give you guy's extremely caffeinated beverages and watch what happens after that for the convo.

**Naruto:** 'Roberto?'

**Angel:** Lunar named it, plainly.

**Kakashi:** So. How is this going to work?

**Angel: **well, First, I give you guys these –lifts up a couple dozen 50 liter bottles of the strongest coffee known to authoress kind (about 234543 more powerful that what normal people can handle.)

**Naruto:** -grabs his- So, I'm supposed to drink this?

**Kakashi:** Is this a good idea?

**Angel: **No. It's not. But it's Lunar… so… it should be mildly amusing what happens next.

**Naruto:** If you say so……

**Angel: **Well, let's see what Lunar has planned. Drink away.

**Naruto, Kakashi, Neji, Gaara, Kisame, Itachi, Shikamarou:**-drink it- …. –blink. Blink.-

**Angel: **oh my… umm. –leaves-

**Naruto:**I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS STUFFISTHISSTRONGHOWDIDLUNARGETCOFFEETHISSTRONGHOWDIDSHEGETSOMUCHOFITWASITREALLYSAVEFORUSTODRINKSOMUCHOFITIFEELSOENEGRIZEDISHOULDGORUNAMARATHONWOULDITBEAGOODIDEAFORMETORUNAMARATHONRIGHTAFTERDRINKINGSOMUCHCAFFINEHEYCAFFINEINEVERKNEWIKNEWTHEWORDCAFFINEHEYIJUSTSAIDKNEWIKNEWHEYDOESN'THATSOUNDKINDOFRETARDEDKNEWIKNEWKNEWIKNEWHAHAHAHAHAHHEYHEYHEYHEGAARAGAARAGAARAGAARAWHATAREYOUDOINGHUHUHUHUHUHUHHUHUHUH WELLWELLWELLWELLWELLWELLWELLWHATCHADOINGGAARAWHATCHADOINGHUHUHUHHHUHUUHUHUJHUJHUHUHHWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!-falls to the ground twitching-

**Kakashi:** -blink. Blink.blink. blink. - -starts laughing. Keeps laughing. Doesn't stop laughing. Sitting in the corner laughing his ass off and rocking back and forth-

**Gaara:** -running around waving his Teddy bear over his head- ALL HAIL MR. TEDDY! YES YES YES! BOW TO MR. TEDDY! MHUA HA HA HA MR. TEDDY SHALL HAVE YOUR SOULS! YOUR SOOOUUULLLLSSSS! MR TEDDY RULES ALL! YES HE DOES! ALL HAIL MR. TEDDY! MHUA HA HA HA! DON'T YOU ALL LOVE MR. TEDDY? PROCLAIM YOUR LOVE TO MR. TEDDY OR FACE THE POWER OF MR. TEDDY'S TEDDY-BEAR MIGHT! FACE HIS MIGHT! FACE IT! MHUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA FAAACCEEE IIITTTT! YAY FOR MR. TEDDY! YAY FOR HIM! CHEER FOR MR. TEDDY! I SAID CHEER DAMNIT! WHY AREN'T YOU CHEERING? CHEEERRR! –starts throttling a lamp- CHEEERRRR!

**Neji:-**starts running around- I SEE YOU! I SEE YOU TENTEN! STANDINGTHERE IN ALL YOUR TEN-TENEDNESS!

**TenTen:… **neji. Did you have caffeine?

**Neji:** Yes I did oh great talking pink-wearing lady master of the panda-bear people.

**TenTen:**…. What the hell.

**Neji: **Yes indeed oh great talking pink wearing lady master of the panda bear people that live in huts made of bamboo but they have to keep making their houses because pandas eat bamboo and they keep eating their house which makes the real estate market of the panda bear people villages very very confusing cause you don't know if your neighbors sold their house or hate it cause no one tells you anything cause most panda bear people don' t talk only the great talking pink wearing lady master of the panda bear people.

**Tenten:**…Come on Neji. Let's go get you some of your special medicine.

**Neji: **Yes oh great talking pink wearing lady master of the panda bear people .

**Naruto: **HAHAHAHAHNEJIBELIEVES INTHEPANDABEARPEOPLEOFTHEMOUNTAINSANDTHEY'RECALLEDTHATCAUSETHEY'RESUPPOSEDTOLIVEINTHEMOUNTAINSBUTHEYDON'TLIVEINTHEMOUNTAINSBECAUSETHEYDON'TEXISTBECAUSETHEY'REFAKEBUTNEJIBELIEVESINTHEMBECAUSEHECALLEDTENTENTHEGREATTALKINGPINKWEARINGLADYMASTEROFTHEPANDABEARPEOPLEBUTWOULDN'THATMAKETENTENAPANDABEARDEMONWHICHWOULDBEAWKWARDBUTITALSOWOULDBEWEIRDBECAUSEOFTHEKYUUBIHEYDOESTENTENEVENHAVEALASTNAMEORISHEJUSTENTENITHINKSHE'SJUSTTENTENHAHAHAHTENTENTENTENTENTENWITHNOLASTNAMEHAHAHAHAHIWONDERWHYTENTENDOESN'THAVEALASTNAMEISITTHESAMEREASONGAARADOESN'THAVEALASTNAMEEITHERHEYNEITHERDOESTSUNADEORJAIRAYAORTHATONEPEDOFILEGUYWHATISWITHALLOFTHESEPEOPLEWITHOUTLASTNAMESWHYDON'THEYHAVELASTNAMESISITB

BECAUSETHEYALLHAVEIDENTITIYISSUESORSOMETHINGWAITWHYWOULDTHEYAHVENAMESATALLIFTHEYHAVEIDENTITYISSUESWHYAMITALKINGABOUTIDENTITYISSUES? –falls totheground twitching-

**Kakashi:** -blink. Blink. Starts laughing his ass off again and continues sitting in the corner laughing his ass off about who knows what-

**Gaara:** HAHA NEJI HAD TO LEAVE! BUT THAT IS BECAUSE NEJI DID NOT BOW TO MR. TEDDY! IT IS MR. TEDDY'S AWESOME POWERS OF TEDDY-NESS THAT CAUSED NEJI TO GET TAKEN AWAY BY THE FEARSOME PANDA-IMPERSONATOR! WHICH SLIGHTLY FLATTERS MR. TEDDY BECAUSE MR. TEDDY IT'S A BEAR! YES! ALL SHOULD DO AS THE FEARSOME PANDA BEAR IMPERSONATOR AND THEY SHOULD ALL PRETEND TO BE BEARS! YES! PRETEND T OBE BEARS FOR THE MIGHTY MR. TEDDY! PRETEND I SAY! PRETEND! PRETEND OR DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! –starts attacking a couch cushion-

**Itachi:**….. OOOOH WHERE OH WHERE AS MY LITTLE DOG GONE, OH WHERE OH WHERE CAN HE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. WITH HIS EARS BUT SHORT AND HIS TAIL CUT LONG, OH WHERE OH WHERE CAN HE BEEEEEEEEEEE –singing with a drunk grandma voice-

**Kisame:** SHUUUTTT UUUPPPP, LIKE, ITACHI. CAUSE, LIKE, you cannot, like, sing , like, right now. Totally. Like, seriously, totally. And, like, anyways, like, yeah, I was all like, yeah huh, and they were all like, nah huh, and I was like, yeah huh, and they were like, no way, and I was all like, yes way, and they were all like, nooo way, and I was all like, oh yes way. And they were like, nuh uh no way, and I was like, yeah huh yes way. And they were like, oh, my gosh. And I was like, oh, my gosh, I like, know. And they were like, oh, my gosh, and I was like, oh, my gosh, I like, totally know.

**Naruto:**KISAMETALKSTOOMUCHHASANYONEELSENOTICEDTHATKISAMETALKSTOOMUCHHEYIWONDERIFANYOFTHEREADERSHAVEANYIDEAWHATI'MSAYINGHEYIFYOUREAREADERANDYOUUNDERSTANDWHATI'MSAYINGTHATREVIEWWITHTHEWORDNONSENSEINYOURREVIEWANDTHEAUTHORESSWILLINCLUDEYOUINANUPCOMINGCHAPTERASANOC.MOSTLIKELYAFANGIRL,BUTIFYOU'DLIKETOBEPARTOFTHEFIRSTREACTIONFANGIRLMEDICALTREATMENTCOREORTHEFRFMTTHANSIMPLYPMONEORTHEOTHERTOLUNARALONGWITHTHEWORLDNONSENSE.BUTTHAT'SONLYIFYOUCANUNDERSTANDWSHATIMSAYING.CAUSEIFYOUDON'TUNDERSTANDWHATI'MSAYINGTHATEVERYTHINGIJUSTSAIDISOFNOUSETOYOUWHATSOVERANDITHASTOBETHEWHOLEWORLDNOTPARTOFITSO,ANYWAY,ICAN'TBELIEVEKISAMETALKSTOMUCHAMITHEONLYONEWHOTHINKSHETALKSTOMUCHWHOELSETALKSTOMUCHLOTSOFPEOPLETALKTOMUCHAMITALKINGTOOMUCHI'MTALKINGTOMUCHAREN'TIIHATETALKINGTOOMUCHBUTRIGHTNOWICANBARELYSTOPTALKINGATLIKE80MILESPERHOURANDWOWIJUSTSAIDANUMBERAMITHEONLYONEWHORECOGNIZEDTHENUMBERTHATISLIKESOFREAKINGAWESOMEITSONLYSOLITARYNUMBERINAGIANTPARAGRAPHOFWORDSWITHNOSPACESWHATSOEVERYEAH.

**Kakashi:** -stares for a few seconds before laughing again. Continues laughing. Loudly. Slightly creepily..-

**Gaara:** YOU THERE! BOW TO MR. TEDDY! MR. TEDDY HAS GIVEN YOU THE GIFT OF JOY! HE HAS GIVEN US ALL JOY! WE SHOULD ALL BOW TO MR. TEDDY! BOW TO MR. TEDDY! BOW BOW BOW! YES BOW TO MR. TEDDY! MHUA HA HA HA HA MR. TEDDY RULES OVER ALL OF YOUR PATHETIC MEANINGLESS LIVES! NO, WAIT, YOU ALL HAVE MEANING IN LIFE! AND THAT MEANING IS TO SERVE MR. TEDDY! WE SHOULD ALL SERVE MR. TEDDY! YES! EVERYONE SING THE MR. TEDDY NATIONAL ANTHEM! THOSE THAT DO NOT SING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM TO MR. TEDDY MUST ALL SUFFER A TERRIBLE PAINFUL DEATH AT THE HANDS OF THE SKILLED ASSASINS THAT WORK AS MR. TEDDY'S PRIVATE ASSASINS! YES, HE SHALL STRIKE YOU DOWN WITH HIS TEDDY-FUL MIGHT! FEAR HIS TEDDY-FUL 

MIGHT! FEAR IT! FEEEAR! I SAID FEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR! –starts beating a duck into the ground-

**Itachi:** OOOOOOH, OLD MAC DONALD HAD A FARM, EI I EI I OOOHHHHHHHHHHH –still signing in the terrible drunk cat lady voice. Possibly on purpose. No one can tell with that much caffeine-

**Kisame:** I like, totally told Itachi to like, stop like, singing in his like, totally terrible voice. Cause, like, I totally, like, know that like, he is like, so doing that on like, purpose. But, like, anyway, I was like, totally talking to like, this one girl, you know, like, the one with like, the hair, and like, the glasses, and like, the really cute purse. You like, totally know. But anyway, like, totally, I was like, talking to her, and we were all like, ah huh, and like, nah huh, and like, yeahhhh. And then she was all like, 'did you like, here about the, like, new cd from, like, them?' and I was like 'they have a new cd? No way' and she's all like, yeah way, and I'm all like, no way, and she's like, totally yeah way, and I'm like, totally yeah way! And she's like, I, like, know, and I'm like, whoa. And she's like, whoa, I like, know,

**Kakashi:** -more slightly insane slightly frightening laughing-

**Shikamarou:** -runs past them all naked screaming- VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!

**Ino:** OMG SHIKAMAROU PUT YOUR PANTS ON! –chasing-

**Kakashi:** -MORE insane and now even more frightening laughing-

**Naruto:** DID SHIKAMAROUJUSTRANPASTNAKEDHEJUSTRANPASTNAKEDWHYDIDSHIKAMAROURUNPASTNAKEDTHATWASLIKESOWEIRDANDKINDAFREAKYWHYWOULDHEJUSTRANPASTUSNAKEDANDWHATWASITTHATWASHEWASYELLINGWHYDIDHERUNPASTYELLINGTHATANDWHYTHEHELLWASHENAKEDWHATWASHAPPENINGBEHINDTHESCENESWHYARETHECAMERAGUYSONLYFOCUSINGONUSWOULD'NTITHAVEBEENFUNNYTOSEEWHATHAPPENEDTOSHIKAMAROUWAITWHYDOICAREHEYIWONDERHOWMUCHTHISCOFFEESTUFFCOSTSTHISISSOMEPRETTYGOODSTUFFISHOULDTAKESOMEWHENIGOONMISSONSICOULDPROBABLYTALKMYENEMIESTODEATHLIKETHISITHINKITWOULDBEIMPOSSIBLETOKILLMEWHENIMLIKETHISJUSTBECAUSEICAN'TSTAYSTILLANDI'MBOUCNINGOFFTHEWALLSANDIMNOTSTAYINGSTILLANDI'MNOTSHUTTINGUPANDIBETTHISISPRETTYANNOYINGHEYIWONDERIFLUNARSDONERESCUINGSASUKETEMEWAITWHYDOICAREIFSHESDONERESCUINGSASUKETEMEIHAVESOMUCHEHENRGYISHOULDSTARTDANCINGTOITACHISHORRIBLECATLADYSINGING.

**Kakashi:** -blink.blink.blink. starts laughing his ass off again-

**Gaara:** YOU SHOULD ALL BE BOWING TO MR. TEDDY! MR. TEDDY DESERVES COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESPECT! WE SHOULD ALL BE RESPECTING MR. TEDDY! YES! ALL HAIL MR. TEDDY! YAY MR. TEDDY! MR. TEDDY IS THE MOST PREFECT TEDDY IN ALL OF TEDDY-DOM, WHICH IS WHY WE BOW TO MR. TEDDY BECAUSE MR. TEDDY IS WAY MORE PREFECT THAN US CAUSE HE'S THE MOST PERFECT TEDDY TO EVER BE CALLED MR. TEDDY THAT MAKES ALL OTHER BEARS NAMED MR.TEDDY OBSOLETE THEREFORE AS SERVANTS OF THE GREAT MR. TEDDY IT IS OUR DUTIES AS NINJAS THAT SERVE THE GREAT MR. TEDDY TO GO OUT TO ALL CORNERS OF MR. TEDDY'S KINGDOM,WHICH IS THE ENTIRE WORLD AND WE MUST WIPE OUT AND DESTROY ALL THOSE WHO DARE CALL THEMSELVES MR. TEDDY BECAUSE MR. TEDDY PWNS THEM ALL AND THEY SHOULD ALL GET OVER IT AND CHANGE THEIR NAMES BECAUSE MR. TEDDY IS THAT FREAKING AWESOME EVERYONE SHOULD BOW TO HOW AWESOME MR. TEDDY IS!! YES! LET US ALL BOW TO MR. TEDDY AND SING HIS PRAISES! I SAID SING! SIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGG! –starts, uh, 'choking' a shoe-

**Itachi:** MARY HAD A LITTLE LAAAMMMBBBBB HIS NAME IS STEEEVVVEEE I FORGOT THE REAL WOOORDDDSSS CAUSE I'VE INGESTED ENOUGH CAFFIIINEEEE TO KEEP A LARGE ARMY AWAKE FOR A COUPLE OF DOZEN OF YEEAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.! –still singing in the drunken cat lady voice-

**Kisame:** and that I was like, Itachi, should like, totally like, stop like, singing, and then Diedara was all like, yeah, totally, and then I was like, yeah, and then everyone was all like, yeah, and then itachi was all like, shut up, like, now, I only, like, sing like that, like, when I have caffine, and I was like, oh, then like, let's like, not give you any caffine, like, totally, and he was like, yeah, totally, and then lunar was sitting in the corner, like, yeah totally, this would like, so like, work like, for a chapter, and itachi was like, what, and she was like, oh, nothing, and he was all like, with this like, evil aura, and then he said, like, better be nothing, and then he like, left, and lunar, like, started laughing this like, creepy laugh, and like, I like, left the room. Yeah.

**Kakashi:** -blink. Blink- -starts laughing his ass off.. again. Actually, he only pauses one in a while to breathe, than he starts laughing again-

**Gaara:** FEEEAAARRR MRR TEEDDYYYY YOOOUUU MMOOORRRTTAAALLLLSSSS!!

**Shikamarou:** VIVA LA REVOLUTION! –sets an explosive down and runs before Ino can attempt to put pants on him again-

**Ino:** SHIKAMAROUUUUUUUUUUU! Wait. What is that?

--….. BOOOOMMM……--

**Everyone:** -blink. Blink.-

**Kakashi:** -starts laughing maniacally again-

**Naruto:** -falls to the ground twitching-

**Gaara:** -falls asleep-

**Itachi:** -gets knocked out by a camera guy, mainly because his voice was disturbing Lunar's electrical equipment-

**Kisame:** -leaves to go shopping-

**Neji:** -walks back in- ah hem, I feel that I should take this chance to point out my previous…. Episode, was influenced heavily by the extremely caffeinated drinks that Lunar had Angel give us. On any normal day I do not refer to Tenten as the Talking Pink-wearing Lady Master of the Panda People. I also do not require special medication on a daily basis. That's only when I receive more than the recommended amounts of daily caffine in under 30 seconds. Thank you.

**Lunar:** WOW!

**Sasuke:** ?

**Lunar:** I haven't even gotten to the disclaimer segment and we're already at 2, 838 words! This is gonna be a really long chapter, isn't it?

**Sasuke:**… I have the feeling this will be an ongoing pattern.

**Lunar:** yeah, it will , sauce.

**Sasuke:** --

**Lunar:** okay, no one will get it as much as I do unless I tell them. Kay, I just got a new computer, and I got the new word program ( I had Windows 98 people. **98** do you know how terrible that is? ) 

Anyway, and it records your word count as you type, so that's why I knew the word count, and, if you do spell check, Sasuke keeps coming up as 'Sauce' which is funny cause some people refer to him as 'Sauce is gay' or something like that…. Anyway, I may be the only person that finds that funny, so, yeah….. But, I really did enjoy caffinating everyone. That was hilarious.

**Sasuke:**… If you say so… Kakashi's kinda scaring me.

**Kakashi:** -still laughing his ass off and rocking back and forth in a corner-

**Lunar:**… uh, he's scaring me too……. Wanna ignore him for the rest of the chapter?

**Sasuke:** yep.

**Lunar:** Then you'll have to do that disclaimer segment.

**Sasuke:** whatever.

**Lunar:** Do it then.

**Sasuke:** -sigh- CUE THE DISCLAIMER SEGMENT BEFORE I FREAKING SHOVE YOU IN THAT DAMNED CLOSET OF LUNAR'S!

**Audio & Visual Crew:** OO NOOOOOOOOOOOO! –leap, dive, and press the disclaimer segment button-

**Lunar:**… I've never seen that many people in one pile, and it have nothing to do with fangirlism……

-**Disclaimer Segment**-

**Lunar:** -disheveled, and looking in a really bad mood-….. Why is that camera on, and why is it pointed at me?

**Poor unfortunate Camera Guy: **uh, because it's the disclaimer segment.

**Lunar:** … Do I look like I want to do the disclaimer segment right now?

**Poor Unfortunate Camera Guy:** umm. No, not really.

**Lunar:** Then why is that camera still on.

**Poor Unfortunate Camera Guy:** um, the on button is stuck.

**Lunar:** Then why is it still pointed at me.

**Poor Unfortunate Camera Guy:**…. Um, because, um, I'm, um, talking to you?

**Lunar:**…. If you want to keep your life intact, turn it off. Now.

**Poor Unfortunate Camera Guy:** um um um but the button is stuck!

**Lunar:** -starts walking towards him menacingly- turn. It. Off.

**Poor Unfortunate Camera Guy:** um, yes ma'am! Yes! –desperately trying to unstick the button-

**Lunar:** -dark aura of doom-

**Poor Unfortunate Camera Guy:** OO AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

-Camera goes all fuzzy with the black and white dot-thingy… you all know what I mean…-

**Sasuke:** Oo

**Lunar:** eh hem, um, I don't do well when I first wake up.

**Sasuke:**… So you KILLED a camera guy.

**Lunar:** no, not killed. Maimed.

**Sasuke:** oh, that's so much better. Do you have a real disclaimer segment?

**Lunar:**… you mean one that wasn't accidentally filmed at a bad moment but a camera guy with really bad luck?

**Sasuke:** yes.

**Lunar:** oh.. um. I don't know.. Let me check. –goes into a drawer and starts digging around-

**Sasuke:** -sweatdrop- I have to remind myself not to be around when she wakes up….

**Lunar:** FOUND IT! –hands it to a av (audiovisual) guy-

**AV Guy:** -plays the tape, thankful the camera guy wasn't him-

-**Real Disclaimer Segment**-

**Lunar: **hmmm. What shall I do for the disclaimer segment? Hmmm. –thinking- OOH. I KNOW. I TOTALLY KNOW.

**Kakashi:** (pre caffine kakashi) … and what is your idea?

**Lunar:** okay, this segment, is an advertisement by….. –shudders- OROCHIMAROU!! Pay me my 234235 436 4363434634576437674567456734645634573456547658364724565246234524 bucks and then the stage is yours, pedo-freak.

**Orochimarou:** .. that's pretty cheap.. –pays-.

**Lunar:** Well, I'm off to sterilize this money. See you guys later. –leaves-

**Kakashi:** …….

**Orochimarou:** Eh hem, HELLO, ladies and gentleman, _boys and girls_, my name is Orochimarou, the snake sanin! And I have a very special treat In store for all of you!

**Kakashi:** sexual harassment?

**Orochimarou:**… shut up. Anyway, Are you all thought of as the 'weak one' in your family? Do you want a little more power, a little more respect? Well, I can certaintly help you!

**Kakashi:** While he helps himself to _you._

**Orochimarou: ** shut up. Anyway, I, Orochimarou, will train you to the best of your abilities until you are the perfect ninja! Need that little boost each time you fight? Well, then I even have a special curse mark that you can use! All it costs is your body!

**Kakashi:** So he can molest you, then steal your body, then molest your body again.

**Orochimarou:** SHUT UP. Anyway, All you need to do is swear your eternal alliegence and then give me your body if I need it.

**Kakashi:**… which is whenever he can't get a cold shower.

**Orochimarou:** YOU KNOW WHAT…

**Kakashi:** what?

**Orochimarou:** I paid for this commercial. Shut up.

**Kakashi:**…. Like Lunar's gonna let you get out of here unscathed.

**Orochimarou:** ??

**Lunar:** BONZAIII! –rolls a giant marshmallow/rice crispies ball that's still very sticky and very hot at Orochimarou-

**Orochimarou:** -gets picked up by the sticky molten marshamallow and lets out a scream- THIS HUUURRRTTTSS.

**Lunar:**… that was awesome.

**Kakashi:**.. where the hell did you get that?

**Lunar:** Internet.

**Kakashi:**….. how the hell.

**Lunar:** Kakashi. You've been here what, a year? Year and a half?

**Kakashi:**… yeah…..

**Lunar:** and since when do I ever do anything with a logical explanation?

**Kakashi:**… good point.

**Lunar:** yes it is. Now if you excuse me, I must ride this second sticky marshmallow/rice crispie ball (this one's cooled down) to a meeting with my pixie-stick supplier.

**Kakashi:**… you're going to ride a…. you know what? Never mind. I don't care. I don't want to know. It's better for my mental health if I don't know.

**Lunar:** Yep. It most certantly is. –gets on the giant marshmallow/rice crispie ball and rides off-

**Kakashi:**… She doesn't own Naruto…. I'm not even sure she owns sanity…… I think I need to go see a therapist…….

-**End Disclaimer Segment**-

**Lunar:** XD That was freaking awesome.

**Sasuke:**… A rice crispie ball?

**Lunar:** oh, yeah. They go pretty fast. And they're eco-friendly!

**Sasuke:**……. I'm not going to ask.

**Lunar:** That's a really good policy. Yep.

**Sasuke:**… so. What are you doing to do now.

**Lunar:** Well, a chapter. Duh. Oh yeah, it's a dear sally sort of thing today!

**Sasuke:**… oh freaking hell… I hate you Lunar.

**Lunar: -**grinning- oh I know Sasuke. I know.

Okay, let's see. My type (its me Lunar hi hi hi hi hi) will be regular, 'letters' will be italics, answers will be bold. Answers will be written by who they're addressed to. (like, a letter for sasuke will be answered by Sasuke, a letter for naruto will be answered by naruto, etc.) If there's more than one character, then I'll just use bold/italic and labeling! Okay, here we go!

_Dear Sasuke-sama,_

_I need your advice on something. There's a guy I really like. But he doesn't notice me. And a ton of people notice you, so I was wondering if you could tell me how to get his attention?_

_Sincerely,_

_Invisible Girl_

**Dear Invisible,**

**Why the hell are you asking me this? Why aren't you freaking asking Naruto himself? Dunce still probably wouldn't notice though…. Hmmm. Well, let's see. I'm just naturally cool, plus I have these great looks, so everybody notices me naturally. But for you, (and I know who you are. Starts with an 'H' ends with an 'A' has 'inat' in between them…) I suggest stalking him till you know his daily habits, then leave him mysterious notes and letters, then send him a note saying it was you. Or just tell him straight to his face. Either way works.**

**Sincerely,**

**Sasuke**

_Dear Kakashi,_

You see I have this problem, I am drop dead gorgeous(not exagerating) and it is very annoying. All of the gay guys try to jump me after my shift is over at the missions office, I think I may have even seen Kisame once shudder. The main thing is that I cannot wear a face mask like you to keep off the hordes of rabid fangirls and guys. A few of my commanding officers wish for me to join ANBU, but I have heard about the high fatality rate, I know the mask would help me with my fan problem, but I am not sure, especially as I would not be able to wear it all the time, especially if I have to keep any identities secret. I look forward to any advice you may have as you also have my problem and were in ANBU at one point.  
SIncERely,  
the hoIt MAn who is GrowIng veRy tired of being molested

**Dear Hoit Man,**

**I completely understand. However, you already have the answer to your problem. Join ANBU. Why? Well, ANBU masks do hide smexyiness, and if you can't wear a face mask, it is really useful. You can wear the mask as much as you'd like, and when you don't want to wear it, you can chill out at the ANBU hq. Also, once you join ANBU, you can hire some of your fellow ANBU females to keep the fanpeople away. Trust me, ANBU girls, just as creepy as fangirls.. in fact, some of them are fangirls. Hence their effectiveness. And ANBU don't stalk other ANBU.**

**Sincerely,**

**Kakashi**

_Dear Naruto,_

_I like you. A lot. But.. I'm afraid to go talk to you. What should I do?_

_Sincerely,_

_I like you._

**Dear Like,**

**Well, techinically, you just talked to me, so, there you go! Although I might end up gay by the end of Ninja Nonsense….**

**Sincerely, **

**Naruto**

Lunar: That's the best you could do Naruto?

Naruto:.. they didn't give me much to work with!

Lunar:.. whatever, next one!

_Dear Lunar,_

_Can I kill you?_

_Sincerely,_

_Tired of you calling me a pedofile._

**Dear Pedofile,**

… **This is for the characters only, weirdo. Second, It's cause you are a pedofile… KABUTO! Ha, bet you all weren't expecting that! **

**Sincerely,**

**Lunar.**

_Dear Asuma,_

_I have noticed for quite some time your smoking habit. How do you do that without dying of lung cancer or something? I would like to know, cause I like smoking, just whenever I try, my wife beats me into a pulp._

_Sincerely,_

_Smoking to Relieve Stress_

**Dear Shikaku Nara,**

**I know it's you. Anyway, Just smoke the special not-actually-cigarettes-but-i-say-they-are-real-to-look-cool-anyway cigarettes. They're in the liquor store under 'Smoke-Free'.**

**Sincerely,**

**Asuma.**



Lunar: asuma, you weren't supposed to say his name. Now everyone knows he's whipped. Wait. Everyone already knew.. nvm.

Asuma: ooh burn.

_Dear Tsunade,_

_I'm afraid of bandaids, but I'm afraid of you too. What do I do if I don't like bandaids, but I don't want to get a bad infection that would make me go see you?_

_Sincerely,_

_Not even putting a description here._

**Dear Freaking Sissy,**

**Go see Shizune if your such a wimp.**

**Sincerely,**

**Tsunade**

_Dear Sasuke,_

_Mooo._

_Sincerely,_

_Moooo_

**Dear Kimimaro**

……**What the hell is wrong with you.**

**Sincerely, **

**Sasuke.**

_Dear Sasuke,_

… _Stop chasing me, Tobi won't stop singing that children's rhyme about the monkey and the weasel._

_Sincerely,_

_Sexy_

**Dear Itachi,**

**Oh, I know, I hate that song. Kill you later.**

**Sasuke.**

_Dear Naruto, _

_I find you extremely smexy. In fact, I'm going to stalk you to your house, kidnap you, and use you for my own means. I love you!_

_Sincerely,_

_Stalker_

**Dear… er, Stalker.**

**You can be a couple of people… I'm thinking, Hinata, but..**

Hinata: Naruto, I wouldn't waste my time kidnapping you when I can just 'take advantage ' of you in your own house?

**Gee, Hinata, er, thanks.. then, who is it?**

Hinata: Itachi.

**OO.. er… well, um… AH!**

**Sincerely,**

**NOT INTERESTED.**

**Lunar:**.. wow. That… sucked. You people need therapy.

**Sasuke:** and you don't?

**Lunar:** … Yeah, I do, just not as obviously.

**Sasuke:** Whatever.

**Lunar:** This is my single longest ninja nonsense chapter Ever. It's way bigger than last chapter.. and most of it was just that thing with the coffee.

**Sasuke: ** …… Kakashi is still laughing in that really creepy way.

**Lunar:**.. hmm. It must be the caffine.

**Sasuke:**… no, really?

**Lunar:** Shut up Sasuke. Anyway, let's see, let's see.

**Sasuke:** ….

**Lunar:** I know! -gets out some Nyquil and shoves it down Kakashi's throat-

**Kakashi:** XX

**Sasuke:** OMG. YOU KILLED KAKASHI!

**Naruto:** You bastard!

**Kakashi:** Lunar doesn't own Southpark.

**Lunar:** See? He's fine!

**Naruto:**…. Whatever. –goes back to sleep-

**Kakashi:** Lunar?

**Lunar:** Yes?

**Kakashi:** I hate you.

**Lunar:** I know, I know…

**Kakashi:**…. You're a terrible person

**Lunar:** How so?

**Kakashi:** You gave me something that was pretty much nothing but caffine.

**Lunar:** I know. Actually, Angel gave it to you. She just happened to use one of my incredibly specific and therefore incredibly interesting and useful.

**Kakashi:** You suck. I mean, you seriously suck.

**Lunar:** Heh heh heh. I know. I know.

**Kakashi:** You need a therapist.

**Lunar:** Actually. You do. That's where you'll be next chapter. I'm ending this one. YAY 5000 WORDS WOO HOO. REVIEW LOVES!


	26. Chapter 26

Author's Note

To my surprisingly loyal readers:

I'm sorry that I haven't updated since the second semester of my sophomore year. However, I will once again begin writing. I've been busy with homework and school and all of that fun stuff. But dangit, I WILL UPDATE ONCE AGAIN!


End file.
